Why Won’t They Change? Insight and Personal Transformation
Insight is a crucial concept in psychology, but it is not always easy to obtain. Introspection is a blunt tool, and people often go to therapists to secure insights. However, narcissists and psychopaths are not amenable to insights because they are emotionally invested in their disorders and do not see any reason to change. Insights require the involvement of four factors: cognitions, emotions, motivations, and actions. Insights are useful mostly with healthy people, as they are more likely to manage it, assimilate it, react to it emotionally without fear, and then change themselves, their behaviors, and actions.
Narcissist’s Hypnosis And Hypnotherapy
Hypnosis is a phenomenon that remains largely unexplained, with various theories suggesting it is either a special state of mind or a people-pleasing behavior. Professor Sam Vaknin proposes that hypnosis is an extreme form of empathy, where the subject and hypnotist synchronize their minds and become one. Hypnotherapy has shown some medical value, but its efficacy in treating mental health conditions is limited. Despite the mystery surrounding hypnosis, it should be treated with respect and investigated further as a potential treatment for mental illness.
3 Phases of Borderline’s Rollercoaster
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the regulatory cycle of the borderline personality disorder. The borderline seeks an intimate partner to provide her with a sense of inner peace, stability, and safety. The intimate partner becomes an extension of the borderline’s inner turmoil, and the borderline creates a shared fantasy with the partner. The cycle has three phases: shared fantasy, disillusionment, and transactional regulatory valley. The cycle is inevitable and ineluctable, and the borderline will try to recreate a shared fantasy with the partner or an ex-partner or become sexually self-trashing.
Nature: Grandiose Delusion (with Benny Hendel)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of nature and how humans relate to it. He argues that the traditional ways of relating to nature, such as religious domination, romanticism, and decoupling, are all dysfunctional and fail to recognize that humans are part of nature. Vaknin suggests that everything humans create is natural and that nature will use humans as agents to limit their activities if necessary. He concludes that humans need to accept that they are part of nature and act accordingly.
How Toxic Romanticism Ruined Intimacy, Relationships (Interview in Bronson Men)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of narcissistic abuse and the importance of individuation and boundaries. He emphasizes the dangers of empathizing with narcissists and the prevalence of misinformation in the field of narcissism. Vaknin also delves into the broader societal issues of distrust, misinformation, and the challenges of academia.
Narcissistic Abuse and Victim Aggression (Interview in Bronson Men)
Sam Vaknin discusses pathological narcissism and how it is caused by a fixation that occurs when one does not progress beyond a certain emotional age due to getting the wrong signals and input from their maternal figure. Narcissistic abuse is different from other forms of abuse as it aims to deanimate the victim and reduce them to a manipulable object. Vaknin also shares his views on victimhood movements and the confusion between sexual identity, sexual orientation, and gender roles.
Oedipus, Electra Complexes Bed One Parent, Kill The Other
The Oedipal and Electra complexes are not about sexual attraction to parents, but rather about the child’s need to merge and fuse with the parent of the opposite sex. Until age three or four, children are pansexual and have no concept of sexual attraction or sex drive. The Oedipal complex is actually autoerotic and a manifestation of primary narcissism. The child falls in love with himself and redirects all these emotions and drives and urges at his mother because she’s part of him. The father has no place in this internal economy, and the child pushes him away because he’s unable to cope with external objects.
Sexual Identity Is Not Sexual Orientation
Sexual identity is different from sexual orientation. Sexual identity is how one perceives oneself sexually, while sexual orientation is about others and involves object relations. Sexual identity is formed in five stages: introjection, emulation, empathy, exploration, and sublimation. A disruption in any of these stages can lead to psychological problems and dysfunctions. Narcissists and borderlines are a perfect match because the borderline needs a partner who would at first idealize her and then discard her, and the narcissist needs to hoover and re-idealize their discarded partners.
Chance And Generational Trauma Pandemic Settles Nature Vs. Nature Debate
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two new factors that influence who we become: chance or randomness and generational trauma. Recent research suggests that random molecular fluctuations in developing brain cells, especially in the womb, can influence the brain’s wiring and have lifelong consequences. Additionally, generational trauma, such as the COVID-19 pandemic, can have a significant impact on mental health and personality development. These factors are considered more important than the traditional nature versus nurture debate in determining our identities.
What Is Acting Out? (and Covert Narcissist)
Acting out is a way for individuals to discharge conflicted mental content through action, often as a result of being unable to verbalize or communicate their internal struggles. It is commonly associated with personality disorders and can lead to self-destructive behaviors. Acting out can be seen as a form of somatization, using the body to remember and process repressed memories and emotions. It is important to distinguish acting out from other concepts such as acting in, passage à l’acte, and bad behavior, as they have different implications and meanings.