How Narcissist Sees YOU
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s point of view and how they perceive their significant other. The narcissist takes a snapshot of their partner and idealizes them, but as reality sets in, they begin to change the way they see their partner. The narcissist sees themselves as a victim and their partner as an abuser, constantly blaming them for things and accusing them of being manipulative. The narcissist also accuses their partner of being self-destructive and lacking self-awareness, and may plot revenge if they feel humiliated or shamed.
Cold Therapy Seminar BOOTLEG: Introduction Lecture
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his approach to treating narcissistic personality disorder through a method he developed called “cold therapy.” He argues that traditional therapies fail with narcissists because they treat them as adults, whereas narcissists are emotionally akin to 18-month-old children. Vaknin’s cold therapy involves retraumatizing the patient in a controlled environment to break through their defenses and induce change. He acknowledges the risks and ethical concerns of his method, which can lead to decompensation and even psychotic states in patients. Vaknin emphasizes that cold therapy is not a cure but can eliminate the need for grandiosity and the false self in narcissists. He also notes that only patients who have hit rock bottom are suitable for this therapy.
Regretting Your Promiscuity? Do This!
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences in social sexuality and how it relates to mental illness. People with unrestricted social sexuality, who can have sex with strangers without any problem, are typically subclinical psychopaths. However, there are people who sleep with strangers habitually but hold conservative values, leading to cognitive dissonance and egodystonic behavior. These people may spiral down into a state of alcoholism and self-trashing, but there are effective treatments available, such as dialectical behavior therapy and behavior modification techniques. Vaknin encourages people to seek help and not give up on life.
Toxic Family Holidays Gathering Guide
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses coping with toxic families during holidays and family reunions. Toxic families are characterized by abusive, controlling, or humiliating behavior from one or more members. To cope with such families, one should accept the reality of the situation, plan ahead, set boundaries, and expect nothing. It is also important to avoid getting sucked into arguments, sensitive topics, and showing emotions. Lastly, it is crucial to have an exit strategy and debrief with a close friend or partner after the event.
Why Cerebral Narcissist Becomes Somatic ( Aging, Death)
Cerebral narcissists are individuals who redirect their entire libido and eros into intellectual pursuits, using their mind, intellect, and intelligence to secure favorable outcomes from the environment. This is due to sublimation, which involves converting drives, urges, and instincts into socially acceptable activities that consume the energy that should have gone to these drives, urges, and instincts. However, cerebral narcissists can transition to become somatic sex addicts following something known as narcissistic collapse, when they can no longer obtain supply in the classical traditional habituated ways. This transformation is very destabilizing for the narcissist, and they become very mournful, grieving, and furious, sometimes even suicidal.
Reverse Psychology CPTSD, Intermittent Reinforcement, Reactance, Strategic Self Anticonformity
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses reverse psychology, a technique that involves asserting the opposite of the desired outcome to encourage the subject to do what is actually desired. He explains that reverse psychology relies on a psychological phenomenon called reactance, which is a negative emotional reaction to being persuaded. Vaknin also discusses various techniques of reverse psychology, such as mirroring, tough love, challenging, pseudo-humility, inconsistency, nagging, and denigrating. These techniques can be used to manipulate and modify behavior in various situations, including therapy, interpersonal relationships, and marketing.
WARNING: Your Best Friend Will Poach Your Partner!
Mate poaching, or attempting to romantically attract someone who is already in a relationship, is a common seduction technique and mating strategy. Studies show that friendship is the best predictor of cheating, as it is the most common relationship invasion tactic. Friends with benefits can evolve into long-term romantic relationships, as friendship leads to investment and commitment. However, relationships formed from poaching tend to be of lower quality than non-poached counterparts, and individuals with a history of mate poaching often report poorer quality relationships.
7 Signs of Abusive Relationship: Ask DAILY (Intimate Partner Abuse)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses abusive relationships and provides seven questions to ask oneself to determine if they are in an abusive relationship. The questions include whether one treats themselves with dignity, sets clear boundaries, tolerates abuse and aggression, is assertive, knows themselves, treats others the way they want to be treated, and if they are habitually disrespected. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of honest communication, self-preservation, and self-love in relationships.
Is Physics the New Mysticism? (with Benny Hendel)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of multiverse in physics and how it differs from the multiverse in the Matrix. He explains that the Copenhagen interpretation of quantum mechanics suggests that the observer determines the universe, while the many worlds interpretation suggests that the universe simply splits into many universes. Vaknin proposes a theory that reconciles these two interpretations by considering the universe as a filter that presents only the collapsed states and keeps out the noise. This theory suggests that the observer creates the filter, but not the universe itself, and that the universe dictates certain outcomes to the observer.
Muddle Intimacy, Emotions, Attachment Style, Sex
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the confusion between intimacy, emotions, sex, and attachment. He argues that intimacy is not necessarily connected to emotions and that emotions, such as love, require intimacy. Attachment styles should match for relationships to work, and mate selection should be informed by attachment style. However, attachment style is not an integral part of mate selection. Flat attachment style is a type of attachment style where people are incapable of bonding or relatedness to others. Confusing these concepts has led to blurring lines and wrong conclusions in the field of gender studies and sexology.