How Psychology Stats Lie To You
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the problems with using statistics in psychology, including the fact that many psychologists do not know how to use statistics properly, the vast majority of psychological studies are comprised of a tiny sample, and the issue of normative validation. He also identifies biases that limit a specific set of statistics and the issue of graphical presentation, which can be misleading. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of scrutinizing the validity of the source and questioning the figures presented.
False Hope of Hot and Cold: Intermittent Reinforcement, Trauma Bonding, Approach-Avoidance
Intermittent reinforcement is a pervasive phenomenon that involves two or more people, and it is not always abusive or dysfunctional. It involves regular signals, messages, and treatment that are cruel, abusive, and disempathic, interspersed with displays of extreme affection. Intermittent reinforcement can be attributed to four types of schedules: fixed interval, variable interval, fixed ratio, and variable ratio. These behaviors wear down the victim and make them more amenable to manipulation, which is the idea behind intermittent reinforcement.
Enabler Is Your Enemy, Snake in Your Grass
Enablers are not friends, but enemies who encourage self-destructive behaviors and amplify self-harm. They participate in self-defeat and self-destruction, providing tools for self-annihilation. Enablers are charming, smiling, and solicitous, posing as best friends, but they are dangerous people who derive pleasure from inflicting pain and are actually sadists. Beware of enablers.
Impersonal Triangulation
Triangulation is not limited to romantic relationships and can involve any introduction of a third party into what should have been a dyadic relationship. Triangulating partners choose any third party who is perceived as available, and when there is no specific third party, they resort to generalized triangulation statements. Triangulation can occur with an imaginary third party in a fantasy or can be based solely on speech acts, verbal triangulation. Triangulation is usually short-lived and involves a form of gaslighting because it’s not real or truthful.
Narcissistic Families: Pseudomutual, Pseudohostile
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two types of dysfunctional families: pseudo-mutual and pseudo-hostile. Pseudo-mutual families appear harmonious but suppress individuality and authenticity, while pseudo-hostile families engage in constant bickering to avoid deeper emotions. These family dynamics can lead to long-lasting impacts on children, hindering their development and sense of self. The professor also delves into the psychological background and the impact of these family dynamics on mental health.
Why People-pleasers Can’t Think Straight (Self-states, Constructs, Introjects)
Professor Sam Vaknin explains how constructs reshape reality and how they affect people pleasers and formerly parentified children. These people have specific automatic thoughts that are at the core of their identity. These automatic thoughts pervade all areas of life, all types of functioning, all acts, all decisions and choices, all cognitions, and all emotions. The constructs latch onto these automatic thoughts, appropriate them, snatch them, and they use them to manipulate the environment, the behavior.
Trump Warning: My Moral and Professional Obligation
Psychologist Sam Vaknin warns that Donald Trump is a narcissist and a menace to society. He argues that people with personality disorders should be subjected to psychological assessments before being eligible to run for public office. Vaknin believes that the Goldwater Rule, which prohibits diagnosing public figures remotely without their consent, is antiquated and wrong. He argues that there is enough information available about Trump to diagnose him with absolute certainty and safety.
Why Narcissists Can’t Think Straight (Constructs, Introjects, Memories, Defenses)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the complex inner workings of a narcissist’s mind, focusing on constructs and introjects. Constructs are stable methods of organizing internal data to make sense of the world, while introjects are internal voices of meaningful others. In a narcissist, these constructs and introjects work together to maintain a false internal environment that conforms to their self-perception and prevents dissonance and anxiety. This manipulation of reality and memories serves to protect the narcissist from realizing that something is wrong with them.
Cheating, Triangulation in Sick Relationships: Power Play, Revenge, Entitlement
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses cheating and triangulation in relationships, particularly in obsessive and narcissistic relationships. In obsessive relationships, cheating and triangulation serve as tools to manage the relationship, establish hierarchy, and communicate with one another. In narcissistic relationships, cheating can be a result of seeking narcissistic supply, boredom, feeling superior, control issues, and fear of intimacy. Both types of relationships can lead to negative consequences and emotional turmoil for all parties involved.
4 Things To Say To Your Avoidant Borderline ( 5 Dynamics)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the challenges of dealing with a borderline personality and offers advice on how to cope with their avoidance. He explains the internal processes and dynamics that drive the borderline’s behavior, including issues with attachment, identity disturbance, and dissociation. Vaknin also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and providing stability and reassurance to the borderline. He suggests specific sentences to say to a borderline in order to address their abandonment anxiety and provide a holding environment.