Borderline: Narcissist’s Mirror (and Avoidant Personality Disorder)
The text discusses the relationship between borderline personality disorder and narcissism, suggesting that the borderline is a mirror image of the narcissist. It delves into the behaviors and reactions of both, highlighting the differences and similarities between the two disorders. The text also explores avoidant personality disorder and its distinct characteristics.
Down God’s Rabbit Hole: Religious Apologetics
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his experience at a Cold Therapy seminar in Romania and his thoughts on a book he received as a gift. He critiques arguments made in the book about atheism, religion, and spirituality, and emphasizes the importance of reason and trust in understanding the world. He also challenges the concepts of intelligent design and the existence of God.
YOU are Narcissist’s Tradition, His Reflexive Self
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the reflexive self, which is the idea that individuals form their identities through constant self-reflection and self-awareness. He explains that in traditional societies, self-reflection was limited by the boundaries set by traditions, which provided a sense of stability and ontological security. However, in post-traditional societies, the collapse of traditions has led to an extension of reflexivity, which can be both empowering and anxiety-inducing. While Giddens’ work on reflexivity has been criticized for oversimplifying the relationship between social structures and individual agency, it remains an important concept in understanding the formation of identity in contemporary society.
2 Types of Bad Partner: Too Present, or Too Absent
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the issue of selecting the wrong bed partners, attributing it to insecure attachment styles developed in dysfunctional families. He identifies two types of bad partners: those who are absent and threaten presence, and those who smother with their presence and threaten with their absence. He explains that individuals from dysfunctional families tend to alternate between these two types of partners in an attempt to compensate for the deficiencies of the previous partner. These patterns are a result of unresolved childhood conflicts and the need to reenact them in adult relationships.
Why Narcissist Distrusts You ( Ontological Insecurity)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of ontological insecurity and its impact on identity. He emphasizes the importance of ontological security in developing a stable sense of self-identity and the potential consequences of ontological insecurity on mental and physical health. Vaknin also highlights the role of trust and the impact of modern society on ontological security. He references the work of Anthony Giddens and advocates for the reintroduction of past psychological concepts into education.
Snippets from Cold Therapy Seminar in Drobeta Turnu Severin, Romania
The text covers various topics, including the author’s book “Cold Therapy,” the importance of autonomy and independence in intimate relationships, the problem with the current transgender movement, and the concept of the mother interject and false self in narcissism. The author emphasizes the need for gender-neutral institutions and the potential abuse of the victimhood movement by narcissists and psychopaths. The author also discusses the risks and benefits of cold therapy in eliminating the false self in narcissism.
Victim of Abuse: Rescue Me NOT! Back Off!
Professor Sam Vaknin warns against attempting to rescue victims of narcissistic abuse, as they are often trauma-bonded to their abuser and may not want to be saved. Victims may have a shared fantasy with their abuser, which is their comfort zone, and may resent any attempts to extricate them from it. Vaknin identifies five common fallacies that victims of narcissistic abuse may hold, including the belief that their abuser defines who they are and that they are lucky to have found them. Any attempts to rescue or fix the victim may be rebuffed, and the rescuer may be perceived as a threat.
Insider Tips: Rid Yourself of Your Toxic Partner (with Sarah Davison)
Sam Vaknin explains the differences between healthy and pathological narcissism, and the differences between psychopaths and narcissists. He also discusses gaslighting, confabulation, and the strategies that children who experience abuse and trauma adopt. Sam believes that narcissists are very sick people and should not have any access to their children. He also explains that narcissists reject reality at an early stage in life and invent an imaginary friend, which later becomes the false self and a paracosm.
Are You Attracted To YOURSELF? Autoerotism
Autoerotism refers to sexual attraction or activity that does not involve a sexual object, such as being attracted to one’s own body or fantasizing about oneself as a different gender or age. Freud’s concept of autoerotism evolved throughout his career, eventually linking it to narcissism and self-objectification. Autoerotic behavior can manifest in various forms, such as autogynephilia (sexual arousal by the idea of being a woman), autoandrophilia (sexual arousal by the idea of being a man), and autopedophilia (sexual arousal by the idea of being a child). Autoerotism is a complex and controversial topic in psychoanalysis, with implications for understanding sexual orientation, gender identity, and paraphilias.
How You Acquire an Ego (Erikson and Kohut with Daria Żukowska)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of separation individuation, which is a crucial phase in a child’s development where they learn to differentiate themselves from their mother and develop a sense of security. He proposes that there are three phases of separation individuation: infancy, adolescence, and social interaction. Each phase can be disrupted, leading to mental illness or dysfunction. A good enough mother frustrates and pushes the child away, allowing them to explore the world and develop a sense of autonomy.