Is S/he a Narcissist? Use These TESTS! (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various personality assessment tests in this section. He talks about the three R’s test, which helps determine whether someone is a full-fledged narcissist or merely narcissistic. He also discusses the characteristics that attract narcissists to potential partners and briefly touches on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) personality assessment test. He then discusses the weaknesses and criticisms of the MBTI and Jungian theory. Finally, he talks about the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory (MMPI-2), the Psychopathy Checklist Revised Test (PCLR), and the Rorschach ink blots test, and notes that personality assessment is more of an art form than a science.
Trust: No Economy, Money, Business Without It
Economist Sam Vaknin discusses the importance of trust in economics, arguing that economics is 100% a branch of psychology. Trust is critical to economic success, and there are different types of trust, including trust in the playing field, trust in other players, trust in market liquidity, and trust in other people’s knowledge and ability. When trust breaks down, it can lead to catastrophic outcomes, including decreased economic activity, increased illegal and extralegal activities, and societal polarization. Vaknin proposes a simple index of trust and distrust to measure the level of economic trust in a society.
YOU: Trapped in Fantasy Worlds of Narcissist, Borderline
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the fantasy worlds of narcissists and borderlines, which are post-traumatic conditions resulting from childhood trauma and abuse. Both types of children develop a fantasy with an imaginary friend who soothes and comforts them. As they grow up and interact with real people, reality intrudes and challenges their fantasy. The child is faced with two choices: give up the fantasy or give up reality. Narcissists and borderlines value fantasy more than reality, and anyone who brings reality into their lives is seen as an enemy. Victims of narcissism are not chosen, they are commodified and interchangeable.
Shameful Core of Covert Narcissist: Inferior Vulnerability Compensated
The text discusses the role of shame in narcissism, distinguishing between grandiose overt narcissism and covert vulnerable narcissism. It explores shame’s impact on behavior and the differences between the two types of narcissism. The author references various studies and theories to support the idea that shame is a central feature of vulnerable narcissism and its association with mental illness and addictive behaviors. The text also highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of narcissism and its relationship with shame.
Borderline Bible: Switching to Identity Disturbance, Psychopathic Self-state (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the perspective of a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) towards their intimate partner. He describes two phases in the relationship: the approach phase and the avoidance phase. In the approach phase, the person with BPD sees their partner as their world, savior, and stabilizer of moods. They feel completed and whole with their partner. In the avoidance phase, the person with BPD feels overwhelmed by pain, anticipates abandonment, and may engage in acting out behaviors like cheating or other reckless actions. They may experience dissociation and view their partner as wanting to control or harm them. The cycle of approach and avoidance is compulsive and not mitigated by external factors. Vaknin emphasizes the intense and chaotic nature of relationships with individuals with BPD.
Mourning Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of prolonged grief disorder (PGD), previously known as complicated grief, which is characterized by an inability to move on from a loss. He explains that grief can become a central organizing principle in a person’s life, leading to a constricted existence and an inability to enjoy life. Vaknin suggests that everyone experiences prolonged grief at some point, and it is considered pathological if it lasts longer than a year. He also delves into the relationship between narcissists and their victims, describing how narcissists can induce a state of prolonged grief in their victims by offering a simulation of unconditional love and then withdrawing it, leaving the victim feeling abandoned and mourning the loss of the relationship, which was never real to begin with. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of separating from the narcissist both physically and mentally to break the symbiotic relationship and begin the process of healing and individuation.
Gender Dysphoria: Real or Social Contagion? (And Detransitioning)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the lack of scientific research on gender dysphoria and the phenomenon of detransitioning. He emphasizes the need for more long-term studies to better understand the experiences of transgender individuals and those who detransition. Vaknin also calls for the transgender community to be more open to diverse voices and experiences, and for the scientific community to take gender dysphoria more seriously and conduct rigorous research on the topic.
FIREWALL YOUR Relationships, Yourself: Boundaries vs. Borders
In relationships, borders are like membranes that allow in only selective types of communication and are policed by cultural and social mores. Borders are interpersonal and are forms of selectivity that regulate structure and introduce order into relationships. Boundaries are individual and are rules of conduct, red lines in the sand. Personal boundaries need to be communicated to people around you, including your intimate partner, and each boundary has to come with a cost, with a price tag. The ability to thrive in intimacy is inextricably linked to the capacity to maintain and enforce personal boundaries and negotiate and compromise interdichoic, intradiadic inside the couple, borders.
How to Raise a Narcissistic Child, Winner in a Sick World
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how to raise a child to be a narcissist, arguing that narcissism can be a positive adaptation for success in life. He explains that pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in early childhood or adolescence. Vaknin then lists 20 ways to raise a narcissistic child, including being a toxic parent, criticizing the child constantly, making the child feel guilty, and fostering sibling rivalry. He concludes by stating that narcissists are winners in today’s society, and parents who raise their children to be narcissists have done their best for them.
Decode, Heal Your Mind With IPAM ( Intrapsychic Activation Model)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his new model of the mind, the intra-psychic activation model (IPAM), and how it can be used to decode the mind and promote healing. He explains that the model correlates internal processes with external outcomes, emphasizing the impact of the environment on behavior and self-states. Vaknin also delves into the concept of self-states, constructs, introjects, and defense mechanisms, highlighting the role of anxiety in therapy and the importance of changing the external environment for personal transformation. He challenges traditional psychological models and emphasizes the fluidity and adaptability of human personality.