Hijacked by Narcissist’s Serpent Voice? Do THIS!
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of separating from a narcissist and reclaiming one’s sense of self. He emphasizes the need to identify and silence the narcissist’s voice in one’s mind, and to reawaken one’s own authentic voice. He warns against premature therapy and the potential for internalized negative voices to collude with the narcissist’s voice.
How Narcissist Betrays YOU to Become Himself (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin explains the narcissist’s shared fantasy, which is a space where they can re-experience their childhood trauma safely. The shared fantasy has multiple stages, including co-idealization, dual mothership, mental discard, and devaluation. The narcissist’s pursuit of betrayal in their relationships is not the same as a cuckold’s motivation, as the narcissist seeks to recreate the betrayal they experienced in childhood. The narcissist’s only meaningful relationships are within a shared fantastic space, which is highly addictive and generates stalking behaviors and virulent hatred. The narcissist uses a variant of this strategy in all intimate settings, for example, in friendships or interpersonal relations.
Economics=Psychology+Counterfactual Models
Economics is not a science but rather a branch of psychology, as it deals with human behavior. Traditional economic theories and models fail to accurately predict and account for human irrationality, long-term investment horizons, and the role of innovation in growth and development. The field of behavioral economics is gaining traction as it combines psychology and economics, focusing on human cognition, emotions, and decision-making. To improve the field of economics, it should be treated as a branch of psychology, focusing on the complex and unpredictable nature of human beings.
It Hurts to Move On, Healing is Painful
Professor Sam Vaknin warns that acts of self-love and healing are always painful and agonizing. Getting rid of toxic people, gaining insights into your shortcomings, confronting trauma and abuse, and investing hard work in introspection and therapy are arduous tasks that require suffering. There is no shortcut to healing, and people should be prepared to suffer before they can heal.
Mental Illness: No Excuse for Abuse
Psychopaths and narcissists often use alloplastic and autoplastic defenses to mask their immoral and antisocial behavior. Autoplastic defenses involve blaming oneself for the consequences of one’s own choices and decisions, while alloplastic defenses involve blaming others for the outcomes of one’s own choices and decisions. These defenses often coexist and interact with each other, and individuals may use them to preserve cognitive distortions and reframe reality in a way that does not cause them undue trauma. The need to deny victimhood and maintain a sense of control can also contribute to the use of these defenses.
Personality Disorders: Not What They Seem! (ENGLISH): BOOTLEG Lecture, Corvinus University, Budapest
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of personality disorders, focusing on Cluster B disorders, which include narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, and antisocial personality disorders. He explains that personality disorders are rigid patterns of dysfunction and are difficult to treat. Vaknin criticizes the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) for its categorical approach and highlights the International Classification of Diseases (ICD) for considering personality disorders on a spectrum. He suggests that narcissistic and borderline personality disorders are post-traumatic conditions and emphasizes the importance of understanding trauma in treating these disorders. Vaknin also touches on the concepts of object constancy, introject constancy, and the challenges of attachment in these disorders. He discusses his own models for understanding personality disorders and the difficulty of changing the core issues of narcissism. Vaknin concludes by addressing questions about living with and overcoming narcissism, stating that narcissism is pervasive and essentially a life sentence, with the only real solution being to walk away from relationships with narcissists.
Abuse is Never Love! (With Zoë Verteramo, Indiana University Bloomington)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the importance of love in relationships and the misconceptions surrounding it. He emphasizes that abuse and love are mutually exclusive and that healthy conflict is essential for growth in a relationship. Vaknin also criticizes the modern concept of love, attributing its corruption to societal influences such as dating apps and social media. He highlights the devaluation of intimacy and the commodification of individuals in the digital age.
Borderline Seeks Fantasy but Flees to Reality
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses borderline personality disorder, which is diagnosed among men and women almost equally nowadays. Borderlines vacillate between two anxieties, separation insecurity and engulfment or enmeshment anxiety. These twin anxieties create an approach avoidance repetition compulsion. During the avoidance phase, the borderline seeks to become more grounded in reality, but she again tries to do this through the agency of someone. During the approach phase, the borderline merges with her significant other, becomes a single organism, outsources her mind to him, and then feels engulfed and enmeshed.
Doubling and Role Reversal in Therapies
Psychodrama techniques, such as doubling, role playing, role reversal, soliloquy, and mirroring, are useful in cognitive behavior therapy and in treating cluster B personality disorders. Doubling involves the therapist emulating the client’s emotions, cognitions, and behaviors, while role playing involves the client assuming the role of a particular person in their life. Role reversal is similar to doubling, but the therapist and client switch roles. Soliloquy involves the client describing their inner thoughts and feelings to the therapist, while mirroring involves the client observing other people’s behaviors and emotions. These techniques are intended to penetrate the resistances and defenses of rigid personalities not open to change or intervention.
6 Cluster B Personality Disorders Misconceptions (Conference Presentation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses six misconceptions about personality disorders in a YouTube video. He explains the differences between codependents and borderlines, the role of abuse in relationships, the distinction between mental illness and mental health, and the characteristics of approach avoidance repetition compulsion and intermittent reinforcement. Additionally, he delves into the emptiness at the core of borderline and narcissistic conditions and how it becomes a choice for individuals with these disorders.