Psychopathic Bully and Stalker
Stalking is a crime and stalkers are criminals, yet the horrid consequences of stalking are often underestimated. Many criminals, and therefore many stalkers, suffer from personality disorders, most prevalently the antisocial personality disorder, formerly known as psychopathy. Psychopaths regard other people as objects to be manipulated, in instruments of gratification and utility. The best coping strategy is to convince the psychopath that messing with your life or with your nearest is going to cost him dearly.
Narcissistic Abuser Cons System
Abusers are often able to deceive mental health and social welfare workers, even when the diagnosis is unequivocal. There are four types of mental health and law enforcement professionals and practitioners who can be co-opted by abusers: adulators, ignorant professionals, self-deceivers, and those who are actively deceived. Mental health professionals are often egocentric and emotionally invested in their opinions, and they may pathologize the behavior of victims who disagree with them. Victims of abuse may need to stage a well-calibrated performance to convince therapists that they are the victim.
Stalker Psychology
Stalking is a form of abuse that continues long after a relationship has ended, with the majority of abusers getting the message. However, a minority of abusers, the more vindictive and obsessed ones, continue to stalk their ex-partners for years to come. These stalkers are typically lonely, violent, and intermittently unemployed, but they are rarely full-fledged criminals. Contrary to myths perpetrated by the mass media, studies show that most stalkers are men, have high IQs, advanced degrees, and are middle-aged.
Interacting with Your Abuser
Sam Vaknin advises those in abusive relationships to work with professionals such as lawyers, accountants, and therapists to extricate themselves from the situation. He suggests maintaining the minimum contact mandated by the courts and avoiding any gratuitous contact with the abuser. Vaknin also recommends exposing the abuser’s needs and filling one’s life with new hobbies, interests, and friends. Finally, he warns against discussing personal affairs with the abuser and disconnecting from third parties who may be spying on one’s behalf.
Abuse By Proxy
Abusers often use third parties to control, coerce, threaten, stalk, tempt, seduce, harass, communicate, or manipulate their targets. They use the same mechanisms and devices to control these unaware instruments as they plan to control their ultimate prey. The abuser perverts the system, and therapists, marriage counselors, mediators, court-appointed guardians, police officers, and judges end up upholding the abuser’s version and helping him further abuse his victims. The victim’s children are the abuser’s greatest source of leverage over his abused spouse or mate.
Narcissists: Masculine and Feminine
Narcissism is a defining trait of our world and its people, with self-absorption, greed, and exploitation being commonplace. Narcissistic personality disorder is three times more prevalent among men than women, and this is due to the social mores and values of macho-capitalism. Women with narcissistic personality disorder tend to focus on their bodies and femininity, while men emphasize intellect, power, aggression, money, or social status. Narcissists conform to traditional gender roles and are chauvinistically conservative, depending on the opinions of those around them to maintain their false self.
Can You Diagnose Your Narcissist?
Narcissistic personality disorder is a disease that can only be diagnosed by a qualified mental health diagnostician. People often compile lists of traits and behaviors that they believe constitute the essence of narcissism, but these are often misleading. Only five of the exhaustive list of criteria need to coexist in a patient for them to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder. It is not proper for laymen to diagnose people, even if narcissists rarely attend therapy or subject themselves to diagnostic tests.
Choosing a Good Psychotherapist
Psychotherapy has evolved from dogmatic scores to modern methods such as brief therapy, a common factors approach, and eclectic techniques. All therapies have common factors such as the patient seeking help, disclosure and confidences, and the development of mutual trust and respect. Good therapy empowers the client and enhances their ability to properly gauge reality, leading to a stable sense of self-worth, well-being, and competence. Eclectic psychotherapy borrows tools and techniques from a myriad of therapeutic systems, and the only principle that guides modern therapies is what works. Psychological theories of personality provide guidelines as to which treatment modalities should be considered in any given situation and for any given patient.
Hermit: Schizoid Personality Disorder
Schizoids are individuals with a personality disorder who are indifferent to social relationships and have a limited range of emotions and affect. They are incapable of intimacy and rarely express feelings. Schizoids are loners who prefer solitary activities and are inflexible in their reactions to changing life circumstances. They are creatures of habit and frequently succumb to rigid routines and schedules.
Narcissist’s Routines
Narcissists have a series of routines that are developed through rote learning and repetitive patterns of experience. These routines are used to reduce anxiety and transform the world into a manageable and controllable one. The narcissist is a creature of habit and finds change unsettling. The narcissist’s routines are often broken down when they are breached or can no longer be defended, leading to a narcissistic injury.