Self-hoovering, Narcissism: Trauma or Role Play?
Narcissists devalue and discard their intimate partners, but in long-term relationships, the partner may engage in self-hovering, refusing to leave despite being discarded. This self-hovering is a trauma-bonding response, allowing the partner to remain in the relationship. The narcissist’s voice in the victim’s mind re-idealizes her, leading to a continued relationship with the internal representation of the narcissist. Narcissism is both a post-traumatic condition and a choice-based role play, with the narcissist unable to modify most of his traits but able to control his behaviors and the roles he plays in different social settings.
Negative Hoovering, Narcissistic Probing: YOU, the Enemy (Persecutory Object)
The process of devaluation and discard exposes the fragile, vulnerable underbelly of the narcissist. The collapse of the shared fantasy leads to a period of decompensation, where the narcissist becomes more vulnerable and passive-aggressive. Narcissistic probing involves hesitant tests and attempts to gather information to ensure the success of hoovering and avoid rejection. The narcissist may oscillate between attempting to re-idealize the target and treating them as an enemy, and may use various methods, including grooming and log bombing, to test and manipulate the target’s behavior. It is important for the target to maintain firm boundaries and not engage in aggressive behavior when responding to the narcissist’s attempts at communication.
Narcissist’s Hellscape Childhood (Short Story)
The YouTube channel features short fiction, poetry, and film reviews related to narcissism and psychopathy. The playlist includes stories about the mindset of a con artist, the experience of infidelity from a narcissist’s perspective, and the impact of an abusive household on the development of a narcissist. The stories depict a difficult and traumatic upbringing, with themes of neglect, abuse, and emotional turmoil. The narrator describes feeling like an outsider and finding solace in reading and storytelling. The stories also touch on the complex dynamics within the family, including the strained relationship between the narrator and their mother.
Narcissist’s Grim Fairy Tale
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of shared fantasy in narcissism, drawing parallels to fairy tales and the psychological dynamics involved. He delves into the role of fantasy in the narcissist’s mind, the interplay of good and bad objects, and the impact on relationships. Vaknin also explores the work of Bruno Bettelheim and the therapeutic aspects of fairy tales in addressing existential problems. Ultimately, he emphasizes the narcissist’s perpetual struggle with the death voice and the pursuit of a semblance of life through the shared fantasy.
When YOU Discard the Narcissist FIRST
The text discusses the consequences of discarding a narcissist before they have a chance to devalue and discard you. It explains the potential outcomes of this action, such as narcissistic injury or mortification, and the subsequent behaviors of the narcissist, including seeking revenge or finding a replacement. The text also delves into the narcissist’s internal processes and their need to complete the stages of grief and mourning for the disrupted shared fantasy.
Narcissist: You Should Read My Mind!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s belief that others should be able to read their mind. He explains that narcissists expect mind reading due to their view of others as maternal figures and their desire for symbiosis. He delves into the narcissist’s internal world, including their need for extensionality and intentionality of external objects. Vaknin also explores the impact of failing to read the narcissist’s mind on their perception of external objects and their own existence. He emphasizes the deep-rooted nature of narcissistic behaviors and the challenges in understanding and working with narcissists.
Enmeshment Types Narcissist’s, Codependent’s, Borderline’s
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dynamics of enmeshment, engulfment, merger, fusion, and symbiosis in relationships with individuals with cluster B personality disorders. He explains the differences in these dynamics between narcissists, borderlines, and codependents, highlighting their unique approaches to intimacy and control. Vaknin also challenges common misconceptions about these behaviors and their underlying motivations.
Masked Narcissist: Private Vs. Public Personas
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the narcissist’s persona and mask. He explains that the narcissist’s persona is a facade, a shell, and a mask that the narcissist uses to interact with the world. He delves into the psychological theories of persona, impression management, and individuation, and how they relate to the development of narcissism. Vaknin emphasizes that the narcissist lacks a true self and is essentially a collection of interchangeable masks, with no core identity. He also highlights the narcissist’s inability to be a member of the audience in social interactions, leading to a lack of genuine connection and a perpetual need for attention and validation.
Autists Lack Empathy, Empaths Deceive, Manipulate
Sam Vaknin discusses two new studies that support his long-held beliefs. The first study shows that children with autism spectrum disorder lack empathy and experience difficulties with self-conscious emotions, such as guilt and shame. The second study suggests that individuals who label themselves as “empaths” are likely covert narcissists and psychopaths who engage in deceptive virtue signaling. Vaknin’s interpretations of these studies may be controversial, but he stands by his claims.
When Hidden Narcissist Takes Over Narcissistic Tunneling ( Empaths , Coverts, Somatic, Cerebral)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissistic tunneling, where a narcissist’s dominant and recessive traits manifest in disguised and camouflaged forms. He provides examples of how different types of narcissists exhibit traits of their hidden type through this process. Vaknin emphasizes the ongoing power play and competition between the dominant and recessive types, and how the dominant type serves as a protective barrier against the recessive type. He also highlights the significance of environmental and societal influences in shaping the expression of narcissistic traits.