Caught in Narcissist’s Pendulum: Romantic Jealousy and Sex
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the contradictory and bizarre behaviors of narcissists, particularly in terms of romantic jealousy, possessiveness, and sexuality. He explains that these behaviors are driven by the narcissist’s need for grandiosity and a sense of uniqueness, as well as their utilitarian, transactional, and instrumental approach to relationships. Narcissists use romantic jealousy and possessiveness to prevent challenges to their grandiosity and to avoid losing their intimate partners, while their fluctuating sexual behaviors serve to captivate and capture partners in the shared fantasy.
Transgender, Transsexual: Biology or Society?
Sex is biologically determined by gametes, but there is a god-awful confusion between sex and gender. Gender is a social cultural construct, and gender roles are shaped by societal needs. Gender is performative, and gendered personality is an integral part of identity. Women raise both boys and girls, and studies have shown that women raise girls differently to the way they raise boys, which creates an asymmetry in the way boys and girls are raised.
Genius or Gifted? IQ and Beyond (News Intervention Interview)
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses IQ, intelligence, genius, and giftedness in an interview with News Intervention. He clarifies that any result above 160 is not normatively validated and that intelligence is anything that endows an individual with a comparative advantage at performing a complex task. He also explains that giftedness resembles autism and that it is the ability to accomplish tasks inordinately well or fast by focusing on them to the exclusion of all else. Additionally, he notes that many so-called geniuses with high IQ are dysfunctional and deficient when it comes to life, intimacy, relationships, and social skills.
Can Men Be Good Mothers? Can AI Robots?
Gender roles are social constructs and not biologically determined. While sex is largely determined at birth, gender is a result of socialization and upbringing. Anyone, regardless of their sex, can fulfill the role of a mother or father, as these roles are jobs with specific functions and qualifications. The way boys and girls are raised by their mothers can create an imbalance in emotional expression and contribute to gender-related issues in society.
Insider View on Narcissism: What Makes Narcissist Tick (News Intervention Interview)
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a lack of empathy, grandiosity, and attention-seeking behavior. Narcissistic abuse is a subtype of abusive behavior that is pervasive, sophisticated, and manipulative, with the intention to negate the victim’s personal autonomy and well-being. Victims of narcissistic abuse often experience depression, anxiety, disorientation, and trauma bonding. To cope with narcissists, one can employ various techniques, such as setting boundaries, avoiding confrontation, and seeking support from others.
(Psychological) Resistance Not Futile, Just Bad FOR YOU
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of resistance in psychology, which is the use of psychological defense mechanisms to cope with uncomfortable information about oneself. There are four groups of resistances: comfort zone preservation, resistance to dread and panic-inducing insights and interpretations, cognitive distortions, and resistances intended to cement and defend a narrative. Resistances can be both externalized and internalized, and are linked to negative affectivity, aggression, and mood. To better understand and change the way resistances shape our world, it is important to focus on understanding people and the deep processes behind these psychological phenomena, rather than just observing their externalized manifestations.
Narcissistic Autoerotic Dating (Talk with Genevieve DiNatale)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various topics in this series of transcripts, including narcissism, psychopathy, gender roles, and online dating. He explains that narcissism has a genetic component and can be caused by any breach of boundaries that denies the child separation from parental figures. He also talks about the sadomasochistic tendencies of narcissists and how they create self-justifying narratives. Additionally, he discusses the decline in sexual activity and childbirth rates in the younger generation, which he attributes to atomization, self-isolation, and technological empowerment. Finally, he talks about the phenomenon of online dating and social media infidelity, stating that men and women have different motivations for being on dating apps, and most interactions are for self-validation, entertainment, and filling time.
No “Wrong” Partner, Other Moronic Relationship Advice
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of mate selection and attachment styles. He argues that individuals tend to select partners who resonate with their psychological makeup and attachment style, and that this is a result of an evolutionary process. Vaknin also emphasizes the importance of considering a partner’s past behavior as the best predictor of future behavior, contrary to the advice given by some self-help gurus. He warns against blindly following online advice and encourages individuals to be thorough in understanding their potential intimate partners.
Capitalism: Religion of Envy
Capitalism is founded on envy, not jealousy, and this relationship drives the system. Envy is a pathological manifestation of destructive aggressiveness, distinct from jealousy, which is constructive. Envy is engendered by the realization of some lack, deficiency, or inadequacy in oneself, and it is a perpetual mobile that feeds on itself. The playing field in capitalism is heavily skewed and biased, and laws that were supposed to have amended or corrected justice and equity are not being implemented because politicians are in the pocket of the rich.
Deprogram the Narcissist in Your Mind
Narcissists play the role of a good enough mother, adopting a maternal role and idealizing their victims. They regress their victims to infancy, merging and fusing with them, eliminating their individuality and appropriating their individuality. The narcissist creates an introject, an internal representation of the victim, which is muted and spews out words attributed to the introject by the narcissist. The victim has an introject of the narcissist in their head, which is fully active and talks a lot, becoming a second, harsh, sadistic inner critic. The current advice to recognize and embrace victimhood is counterproductive, as it freezes the emergent roles allocated by the narcissist, and the locus of control remains in the narcissist’s hands. Victims need to extricate