Daddy Issues: Daddy’s Girl, Mama’s Boy, Father Complex
Daddy issues, a term often used to demean women, are actually more common in men and can be traced back to Sigmund Freud’s father complex. These issues can arise from unhealthy close bonds or distant relationships with fathers, leading to a compulsive pursuit of male attention and gratification later in life. Men and women with daddy issues often display codependent and borderline behaviors, such as possessiveness, jealousy, and emotional blackmail. These issues can lead to drama and self-harming behaviors, as individuals seek to feel alive by teaming up with older men who represent impending death.
Can Narcissist be Tricked Into Healing? (with Daria Zukowska)
Sam Vaknin explains that while certain behaviors of narcissists can be modified, the disorder itself is very difficult to reverse. The realistic treatment goal for NPD is to make the narcissist more acceptable to others and less problematic. In therapy with narcissists, conditioning and reinforcement are critical. The therapist should provide a constant stream of narcissistic supply and explicit praise when the narcissist modifies their behavior in accordance with treatment goals. Narcissists have emotional distortions because they have cognitive distortions, and they have access only to negative emotions.
Narcissist’s Relationship Cycle Decoded and What To Do About It – Part 3 of 3
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses coping strategies for those in relationships with narcissists, including the concept of narcissistic mortification as a means to prevent hoovering. He explains that once in a relationship with a narcissist, one must adopt a different set of rules, potentially mirroring narcissistic behaviors to survive and eventually extricate oneself. Vaknin also addresses the importance of no contact as the only recommended strategy for dealing with narcissists post-relationship. He emphasizes the difficulty of removing the narcissist’s internalized presence (introjects) from one’s mind and offers advice on how to reverse the roles and regain control over one’s life. The seminar includes a Q&A session where Vaknin answers various questions related to narcissism and its effects on relationships and individuals.
Narcissist’s Relationship Cycle Decoded and What To Do About It – Part 1 of 3
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the seminar on narcissism and astrophysics in mental health. He delves into the phases of the narcissist’s relationship cycle, the characteristics of pathological narcissism, and the impact of childhood trauma on the development of narcissistic personality disorder. He also explains the narcissist’s incapacity for self-love and the dynamics of the relationship with the narcissist.
Breaking News on CPTSD, BPD, NPD and Self (with Daria Zukowska)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences and connections between various personality disorders, including covert and overt narcissism, primary and secondary psychopathy, borderline personality disorder (BPD), and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD). He argues that all of these disorders are post-traumatic conditions caused by abuse in early childhood. Vaknin proposes a theory of self-states, where people have reactive potentials that are activated by situations, and emotional dysregulation is subject to cognitive distortions, deficits, and biases. He also suggests that the foundational concepts of personality psychology are wrong.
Narcissist Can’t Feel Lovable, Good, Worthy, Self-rejects
Negative identity in narcissism involves defining oneself in contrast or contradiction to others, either positively or negatively. This can lead to self-rejection, self-loathing, and the creation of a false self to compensate for the perceived inadequacy of the true self. This process is further complicated by the narcissist’s autoplastic and alloplastic defenses, as well as their external and internal locus of control. Ultimately, the narcissist’s pursuit of goals and accomplishments to satisfy their false self serves as a form of self-rejection, as they are constantly reminded of their inadequacy and worthlessness in comparison to the false self.
Are We Transitioning to Doom or Doomed to Transition? (EXCERPT)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the multiple transitions humanity is currently experiencing, including political, economic, and gender-related shifts. He emphasizes the importance of collaboration between men and women in a new way that reflects current realities. Vaknin also highlights the dangers of atomization, individual anonymity, self-worship, and self-sufficiency in the age of virtual reality and the metaverse. He believes that if men and women do not find a way to collaborate and adapt to these changes, the human species may be doomed.
How To Love the Narcissist AND Keep Him?
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two contradictory solutions to the question of how to love and keep a narcissist. The first solution is to emulate the narcissist’s dead mother, which creates a reverse trauma bonding that keeps the narcissist coming back. The second solution is to conform to the snapshot of the narcissist’s ideal partner and never deviate from it. However, Vaknin warns that being in a relationship with a narcissist is a form of self-harm and that the narcissist is an absence, chaos, and unadulterated anguish.
Narcissist Hates Himself, So Can’t Love YOU
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of love and why narcissists cannot love. He explains that all love is self-love and that being loved is a way of experiencing existence and feeling alive. Narcissists, however, lack a true self and are incapable of self-love, making it impossible for them to love others. He delves into the psychological processes and theories behind narcissism, emphasizing the narcissist’s inability to empathize and experience true human connection. Ultimately, he highlights the importance of self-love as a prerequisite for loving others and contrasts healthy self-love with pathological narcissism.
Narcissist: YOU His Dream, HE Your Nightmare (EXCERPT, Seminar, April 12, 2022, Budapest)
Professor Sam Vaknin is giving a six-hour seminar in Budapest on April 12th, 2022, which is free of charge. The seminar is divided into four modules, each with two parts, and will cover hundreds of aspects of the relationship with a narcissist. One of the things he discusses is the discrepancy between how the narcissist sees themselves and how their partner perceives them. The narcissist regards themselves as a dream come true, but this is because they first idealize their partner, who becomes the source and regulator of their sense of self-worth.