Protecting Us From Ourselves Defense Mechanisms
Insight from psychoanalysis suggests that we are our own worst enemies due to our capacity for self-deceit. Defense mechanisms are widely thought to be the main instruments of self-deceit, and they serve to separate internal reality from external reality in order to reduce anxiety. These defenses can be successful or unsuccessful, and they play a role in normal psychic structure formation. Additionally, there are various types of defenses, and they can evolve and transform as the ego matures.
Silent Treatment What Is It, How To Tackle It
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of silent treatment, distinguishing it from other social behaviors and highlighting its characteristics and consequences. He explains that silent treatment is a form of abuse, and provides strategies for coping with and addressing it, including setting boundaries, using “I” statements, practicing self-care, and seeking help. He also emphasizes the damaging effects of silent treatment on both the giver and the receiver, and the importance of not taking it personally.
5 Reasons To Grieve, Mourn: Varieties Of Grief And Mourning
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the different types of grief and their underlying causes. He explains that grief can be triggered by unrealized potential, the discrepancy between fantasy and reality, catastrophizing, irretrievable loss, and the loss of identity. He emphasizes that grief can become prolonged and pathological, leading to conditions such as narcissism and borderline personality disorder. Vaknin also highlights the role of shame in exacerbating grief and the profound impact of early childhood abuse on fostering lifelong grief disorders.
Intimate Partners Who Were Sexually Abused in Childhood
Julian Ford discusses the unique dissociative symptoms of sexual violation in complex post-traumatic stress disorder. He describes the conflict between the need for touch and intimacy and the intense disgust or terror experienced by individuals with a history of childhood sexual abuse. Victims of childhood sexual abuse often dread intimacy, sexualize love, and struggle with setting boundaries in adulthood. They may employ defense mechanisms such as self-objectification, dissociation, and self-punitive choices in intimate relationships. These experiences can lead to a complex and challenging dynamic for intimate partners of childhood sexual abuse survivors.
How Borderlines Abuse Themselves ( DBT)
The lecture discusses the victimization of borderline patients, focusing on their self-destructive behaviors and internal struggles. It delves into the concepts of inhibited grieving, unrelenting crisis, active passivity, apparent competence, emotional vulnerability, and self-invalidation in the context of borderline personality disorder. The speaker emphasizes the intense emotional experiences and the difficulty in regulating emotions that borderlines face, leading to self-criticism and self-victimization. The lecture also touches on the potential transition from the self-state of a borderline to that of a psychopath.
Should Lovebombing Be Criminalized? Not Always! (TalkTV with Trisha Goddard)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the evolution of the definition of coercive control in cases of domestic abuse, particularly focusing on the concept of love bombing. He emphasizes the need for precise definitions to avoid criminalizing normal behaviors and highlights the role of intermittent reinforcement in manipulative control. Additionally, he addresses the applicability of coercive control in workplace situations and the importance of expanding the definition to encompass various relationships.
How Narcissist Borderline Child Experiences World
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the development of narcissistic and borderline personalities in children, focusing on the impact of parental behavior on the child’s perception of self and others. He delves into the concepts of primary narcissism, object splitting, and the role of the mother in shaping the child’s psyche. Vaknin also explores the theories of Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, highlighting their perspectives on narcissism, introversion, and the shadow self.
How To Get Your Narcissist to Therapy (“Granny Fanny Cris” Method)
The text discusses how to get a narcissist to attend therapy, emphasizing the importance of not directly confronting the narcissist’s grandiosity and instead using strategies such as co-opting their grandiosity, appealing to their self-conception, and leveraging crises to motivate them to seek therapy. It also highlights the challenges of therapy with narcissists, including their resistance and the need for therapists to collaborate with their grandiosity and fantasy defenses. The text also addresses the different types of crises that may drive a narcissist to therapy, such as ultimatums, mental disorders, and suicidality.
Borderline Demonizes Partner, Pathologizes Narcissist (Or Herself)
The text discusses the dynamics of borderline personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder in relationships. It delves into the borderline’s paranoid ideation and the need to justify withdrawing from a partner. It also explores the concept of persecutory dynamics and the interplay between the borderline and narcissistic partner. Additionally, it touches on the narcissist’s devaluation and discard phases and the impact on the internal object.
YOU In Mind Of Narcissist, Borderline
The narcissist perceives others through internal objects in his mind, constantly negotiating and reconciling them with external reality. The narcissist’s lack of boundaries and empathy leads to confusion between internal and external objects, resulting in a form of hyper-reflexivity and psychosis. The narcissist’s interactions are primarily with internal objects, projecting their mental states onto external objects. The narcissist’s attachment is to internal objects, and they maintain control and possession over external objects through introjects. The narcissist’s relationship with a borderline personality can lead to a powerful bond, with the borderline encouraging the narcissist’s internal object interactions.