YOUR LOVE, Intimacy FEARED: Narcissist’s Perfectionism, Envy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s hatred towards others and how it is linked to perfectionism. The narcissist’s fear of failure drives them to be perfect, and they believe they are infallible. The narcissist idealizes only internal objects and internalizes external objects to eliminate competition. In this section, Professor Sam Vaknin explains that the narcissist believes they are the only good object in the world and that they have internalized this object. Therefore, they do not need to envy anyone else. The narcissist becomes immune to envy and talks to their envy, telling it not to direct itself at them because they are the good object.
Covert Borderline Predicted: Standard Model of Personality Disorders (McGill University)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between the classic and covert borderline personality disorders. The covert borderline internalizes their struggles, while the classic externalizes them. The covert is sadistic, punitive, goal-oriented, and may engage in triangulation, while the classic engages in triangulation to restore relationships or please people. The covert is preoccupied with appearances, while the classic is preoccupied with boredom and has an aesthetic taste. The covert borderline may be an activist and has apparent enthusiasm for socio-political affairs, while the classic couldn’t care less and is a pathological liar.
12 Treatments for Narcissists, Other Cluster B Personality Disorders (Borderlines, Psychopaths)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various psychotherapies, including behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and the third wave of behavioral therapy, which combines cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) with other elements. He also talks about psychodynamic therapies, which reject the idea that cognition can influence emotion. Vaknin explains that no known therapy is effective with narcissism itself, but many therapies are effective at modifying the behaviors of the narcissist. He notes that narcissists are notoriously unsuitable for collaborative efforts of any kind and are the most difficult patients in therapy.
Paranoid (= Narcissist) Suspects YOU (= Persecutory Object)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the relationship between narcissism and paranoia, arguing that all paranoids are actually narcissists. He also talks about the Japanese concept of Mono no aware, deranking on YouTube, and how personality disorders are narratives created to disguise and defend against discontinuities in identity and memory. Narcissists and fanatical paranoids share similar characteristics, and paranoid ideation serves two purposes for the narcissist: upholding their grandiosity and fending off intimacy. The narcissist attributes their own motives and psychological processes to other people and tends to interpret other people’s behavior as directed at them.
Types Of Narcissist In Your Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the distinctions between different types of narcissists and their progression from narcissism to sadism and ultimately to a schizoid phase. He also recommends literature on schizoid personality disorders and reads an excerpt from an article by Philip Bromberg about the connection between dissociation and personality disorders. Vaknin emphasizes the role of dissociation in personality disorders and the need to keep others at bay to maintain equilibrium.
How Narcissist Dupes, Lures YOU Into Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissists and psychopaths as being void of true emotions and empathy, and how they use mimicry and effective computing to deceive and manipulate others. He explains how their behavior is a form of aggressive mimicry, and how they present themselves as harmless or symbiotic when they are actually parasitic. He also touches on the evolutionary advantages of mimicry in these individuals.
Codependency State Of Mind, Not State Of Affairs
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the relationship between narcissists and their intimate partners, explaining that narcissists only need their partners to provide them with sex, supply, sadistic and narcissistic services. He also clarifies the terms codependent, counterdependent, and independent and discusses dependent personality disorder. The pathogenesis of co-dependency is brought about by parents who teach their children to expect only conditional transactional love, leading to the child feeling rage and anger at the unjust mistreatment. To overcome codependency, one should realize that the world never ends when relationships do, analyze their addiction, make a plan of action, and seek social support.
Victim: Don’t Become Your Abuser!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the dangers of embracing victimhood after experiencing narcissistic abuse. He explains that there are three categories of victims: those affected by the narcissist’s instability, those misled by the narcissist’s emotional signals, and those intentionally targeted by the narcissist. Vaknin warns that adopting a perpetual victim mentality can lead to narcissistic behaviors, splitting the world into good and evil, and becoming emotionally dependent on the victim identity. He urges individuals to reflect on their own contributions to their situations and avoid falling into the trap of perpetual victimhood.
How You Recall Trauma (University Lecture)
Professor Sam Vaknin’s lecture discusses the controversy surrounding false memories, particularly those related to abuse. He explores the debate over the accuracy of memories of trauma and the distinction between core memories and peripheral memories. He also delves into the concept of mentalism and mentalization, as well as the impact of therapy on memory recall. The lecture emphasizes the complexity and malleability of memory, and the potential for false memories to be implanted or constructed.
Flashbacks in C/PTSD: “Emotional” vs. Real (See DESCRIPTION 1st! University Lecture)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the construct of emotional flashbacks in complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and its validity. He proposes a nuanced classification of PTSD, which includes overuse of dissociation, defensive compartmentalization of trauma, hijacked neurobiology with hallucinations, and numbing. Flashbacks are a key symptom of PTSD, involving the re-experiencing of traumatic events in the present. They are a way of coping with trauma and suspending the distinction between internal and external objects, and are a fundamental tool that we are born with. Flashbacks are intimately connected to trauma and dissociation, and involve reliving experiences.