Curing Your Narcissist (News Intervention Interview)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various treatment modalities for narcissistic personality disorder, including cold therapy, which he developed. Cold therapy aims to render the false self redundant and eliminate the need for narcissistic supply. Vaknin also reviews other therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavior analysis system of psychotherapy, and schema therapy. However, he emphasizes that while some behaviors can be modified, the core of the narcissist remains empty and untouchable.
How Narcissist Perceives Narcissistic Abuse (with Charles Bowes-Taylor)
Sam Vaknin, a professor of psychology and author of books on narcissism, discusses his work and the development of the field. He suggests that narcissism is a form of religion and that narcissists try to convert non-narcissists to their religion. Narcissistic traits, style, personality, and disorder are distinguished by quantitative differences that become qualitative. The guest describes her experience of being hoovered by her narcissistic ex-partner and how it triggered both good and bad memories. In this conversation, Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of narcissists and their relationships with others.
(Psychological) Resistance Not Futile, Just Bad FOR YOU
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of resistance in psychology, which is the use of psychological defense mechanisms to cope with uncomfortable information about oneself. There are four groups of resistances: comfort zone preservation, resistance to dread and panic-inducing insights and interpretations, cognitive distortions, and resistances intended to cement and defend a narrative. Resistances can be both externalized and internalized, and are linked to negative affectivity, aggression, and mood. To better understand and change the way resistances shape our world, it is important to focus on understanding people and the deep processes behind these psychological phenomena, rather than just observing their externalized manifestations.
So, Can You Change Your Attachment Style?
Attachment styles are stable but attachment behaviors can be modified. The internal relationship model is formed in childhood and influences how people interact and build relationships. Life crises and having a good partner can mitigate insecure attachment styles, but personal growth and development come from being vulnerable and open to loss. Internal working models are dynamic and can change with self-awareness and experience.
Borderlines: No Win Relationships, BPD Enigmas Decoded
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the complex dynamics between individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) in intimate relationships. He explains that people with BPD experience two types of anxiety: abandonment anxiety and engulfment anxiety. These anxieties lead to approach-avoidance behaviors, which can be disorienting and confusing for their partners. Vaknin also highlights the concept of dual mothering in narcissist-borderline relationships, where the narcissist provides unconditional love to the borderline, while the borderline becomes the narcissist’s “dead mother,” allowing the narcissist to attempt to heal and fix their original mother through the borderline partner. This dynamic creates a strong bond between the two, making it difficult for them to separate.
Women: Just Say “No”! Self-respect, Boundaries – Men Angry, Immature (Pop Red Pill Podcast)
Sam Vaknin discusses various topics in different transcripts. In the first one, he talks about the power dynamics between men and women, where women have gained the upper hand in recent times. In the second one, he blames the emphasis on career and toxic masculinity for the decline of committed relationships and the rise of loneliness. In the third one, he discusses the crisis between genders and suggests that women have the power to change the situation by tightening up their boundaries and getting clear on their values.
Narcissist Lemmings: Generation Off a Cliff (FlowGrow Experience, Limerick City Community Radio)
Summary: Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the prevalence of narcissism in society and its impact on relationships. He explains the differences between healthy and pathological narcissism, the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, and the challenges of forming and maintaining intimate relationships. Vaknin also addresses the societal shift towards individualism, the impact of technology on social interactions, and the consequences of prolonged loneliness. He highlights the need for a reevaluation of gender roles and sexual scripts in modern society.
Dark Pentagram Personality: Dark Triad/Tetrad and Beyond
Professor Sam Vaknin suggests a new construct called the dark pentagram personality, which includes Machiavellianism, subclinical narcissism, subclinical psychopathy, covert narcissism, and borderline personality. He argues that the dark triad and dark tetrad are redundant, as their components are all facets and manifestations of psychopathy. Vaknin believes that sadism should not be included in the dark personality constructs, as it is too similar to psychopathy. Instead, he proposes adding subclinical covert narcissism and subclinical borderline personality to create the dark pentagram personality.
When Narcissist Says “I Love You” – What Does It Mean To Him?
Narcissists and borderlines often mislabel and misidentify their internal processes as love and intimacy, despite being incapable of experiencing true love or intimacy. They confuse dependency, limerence, exhibitionism, masochism, defiance, competitiveness, possessiveness, neediness, and people-pleasing with love and intimacy. This mislabeling is an attempt at self-restoration and bridging confabulation, as they have a diminished self-insight and inability to introspect. Their constant attempt to explain or describe their internal processes is an effort to restore their being, relationship with the world, and ultimately their identity.
Been Played? Trust Again: Vulnerability, Growth, Healing
In today’s age of pervasive distrust, personal growth and healing depend on our ability to trust and display vulnerabilities. The lack of trust in relationships has led to a rise in infidelity and a decline in marriage rates and birth rates. To restore trust, we must learn to discern true friends from fake ones and develop our vulnerabilities as assets. Trust is essential for love and personal growth, and while it should not be given indiscriminately, taking calculated risks in trusting others can lead to a more fulfilling life.