Borderline’s Good Object, Bad Behaviors
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of a “good object” as a constellation of voices that inform an individual of their worth and value. He explains how individuals with borderline personality disorder possess a compensatory good object, which serves to reconcile their self-perception with their behaviors. Vaknin also delves into the role of compensation in analytical psychology, emphasizing its positive function in shaping the self. Additionally, he explores the use of compensatory structures in the formation and functioning of the self, as described by Heinz Kohut. Ultimately, Vaknin highlights how both borderline individuals and narcissists utilize compensation to maintain their sense of self.
Why Narcissists are Successful: Cat- vs. Grin Narcopaths (Narcissism Cheshire Effect)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the success of narcissists and psychopaths in society, attributing it to their ability to thrive in a world that values fantasy and manipulation of symbols in fantastic spaces. He explains the distinction between “cat” narcissists and “green” narcissists, with the latter being more focused on internal feelings and fantasy. Vaknin argues that modern civilization is constructed on the manipulation of symbols and fantastic spaces, providing an advantage to narcissists and psychopaths. He also predicts a future dominated by narcissism and psychopathy, with individuals needing to adapt to this reality to succeed.
Mama’s Boy or Daddy’s Girl? (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how various types of dysfunctional fathers can impact the development and expression of pathological narcissism in their children. He explains that while the formation of pathological narcissism occurs in the first 36 months of life and is primarily influenced by the mother or maternal figure, the father’s role becomes significant later on, shaping how the child’s narcissism manifests. Vaknin categorizes fathers who exacerbate narcissism in their children into several types, including the dead father, the shameful father, the intermittent father, the antisocial entitled father, the fantasy-prone father, the harsh and critical father, the unjust and sadistic father, the dysregulated father, the incestuous father, the parentifying father, the instrumentalizing father, the pedestalizing father, and the submissive, codependent father. Each type contributes to the child’s narcissistic pathology in different ways, often leading to a variety of narcissistic outcomes in adulthood.
Toxic Help , Backhanded Compliments: Negging, Passive-aggressive Devaluation
Passive aggression is a pervasive and toxic form of aggression that is difficult to detect and can be very damaging. It is a tool used by weak and envious individuals who are unable to express overt aggression. Backhanded compliments and toxic help are examples of passive-aggressive behavior that involve dishonesty, deception, and an inability to interact honestly with others. These behaviors leverage narcissism and paranoia and can be very destructive, causing disorientation, confusion, and emotional pain. It is important to be wary of such individuals and avoid their toxic influence.
Narcissism Virus: Genes, Deception, Brain, Mind (Compilation)
Narcissists and psychopaths are facing increasing difficulties in finding victims due to heightened awareness and stigmatization of their behaviors. As victim awareness grows and behaviors associated with narcissistic abuse become criminalized, the pool of potential targets shrinks. This leads to a situation where predators may team up to hunt collectively, as predicted by game theory models like the Hawk-Dove model and the Lotka-Volterra predator-prey model. These models suggest that as the number of predators increases and the number of prey decreases, the predator population will eventually decline. This raises questions about the role of predators like narcissists and psychopaths in society and whether their decline could lead to trophic cascades, which are powerful indirect interactions that can control entire ecosystems. The future impact of increased awareness, stigmatization, and criminalization on the survival and behaviors of narcissists and psychopaths remains an open question.
Narcissist’s Father: Daddy Issues Typology
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of fathers on the development and manifestation of pathological narcissism in children. He explains that while the mother’s role is critical in the early stages of a child’s life, the father’s influence comes later and can affect how the child’s narcissism is expressed in adulthood. Vaknin outlines various types of fathers, such as the dead, shameful, intermittent, entitled, and harsh fathers, and explains how each type can contribute to the exacerbation of a child’s narcissism. He emphasizes the importance of the father’s role in redirecting and mitigating the child’s narcissism and highlights the negative impact of mentally disturbed fathers on their children.
No Emotions, please: Alexithymia and Anankastia (Rigid Perfectionism)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of Alexithymia, a condition characterized by the inability to recognize and express emotions in oneself and others. He proposes a new perspective on Alexithymia, linking it to Anancastia, a trait domain related to rule-based perfectionism. Vaknin suggests that Alexithymia is a form of perfectionism and emotional blindness, and he explores its potential connections to narcissistic personality disorder and other mental health issues. He also delves into the impacts of Alexithymia on relationships and presents various psychological models and theories related to the condition. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of emotions in interpersonal relationships and discusses the potential psychodynamic and cognitive behavioral roots of Alexithymia. He also highlights the connection between Alexithymia and narcissism, suggesting that they share common elements such as anhedonia and a limited ability to experience positive emotions.
Talking to Narcissistic Abuse Victim, Coach (with Michelle Ecret)
In the lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his personal journey of awakening from a narcissistic relationship and the process of healing and recovery. He explains the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, the role of fantasy in the narcissistic relationship, and the psychological traits and behaviors of narcissists. He also addresses the concept of conscious awareness in narcissists and clarifies the distinction between attachment styles and narcissistic personality disorder. Throughout the conversation, he provides insights and explanations based on his expertise in the field of narcissism and abuse.
How Your Childhood Effs Your Adulthood ( Adverse Childhood Experiences ( ACEs))
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of adverse childhood experiences on adulthood. He explains that childhood largely determines adulthood and attachment styles are almost cast in stone. He emphasizes that childhood experiences have a direct impact on adulthood and discusses the mental health consequences of an unhappy childhood, including the development of narcissism, fear of abandonment, perfectionism, emotional instability, and difficulty expressing emotions. He also highlights the challenges in setting boundaries, overthinking, self-loathing, and passive aggression as outcomes of adverse childhood experiences.
Why Narcissist Can’t Love (with Daria Żukowska, Clinical Psychologist)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of love in relationships involving individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). He explains that narcissists are incapable of genuine love due to their cognitive style, fear of vulnerability, and internalized negative self-image. Vaknin also delves into the emotional impact of being in a relationship with a narcissist, highlighting the complex grief and trauma experienced by victims. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing early warning signs and maintaining assertiveness and boundaries to avoid entering such relationships.