FIREWALL YOUR Relationships, Yourself: Boundaries vs. Borders
In relationships, borders are like membranes that allow in only selective types of communication and are policed by cultural and social mores. Borders are interpersonal and are forms of selectivity that regulate structure and introduce order into relationships. Boundaries are individual and are rules of conduct, red lines in the sand. Personal boundaries need to be communicated to people around you, including your intimate partner, and each boundary has to come with a cost, with a price tag. The ability to thrive in intimacy is inextricably linked to the capacity to maintain and enforce personal boundaries and negotiate and compromise interdichoic, intradiadic inside the couple, borders.
Narcissist’s Sadism, Masochism, and Self-Destructiveness (ENGLISH responses)
Narcissists are not masochistic because they do not love themselves, and masochism is a form of self-love. Narcissists are self-destructive, and their sadism and masochism are instrumental and functional, used to control people and obtain results. Self-destructiveness is a way for the narcissist to prove to themselves that they are alive when they cannot obtain narcissistic supply. BDSM can be a safe environment for the narcissist to transfer control and rest, knowing that nothing bad will happen.
How to Raise a Narcissistic Child, Winner in a Sick World
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how to raise a child to be a narcissist, arguing that narcissism can be a positive adaptation for success in life. He explains that pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in early childhood or adolescence. Vaknin then lists 20 ways to raise a narcissistic child, including being a toxic parent, criticizing the child constantly, making the child feel guilty, and fostering sibling rivalry. He concludes by stating that narcissists are winners in today’s society, and parents who raise their children to be narcissists have done their best for them.
Decode, Heal Your Mind With IPAM ( Intrapsychic Activation Model)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his new model of the mind, the intra-psychic activation model (IPAM), and how it can be used to decode the mind and promote healing. He explains that the model correlates internal processes with external outcomes, emphasizing the impact of the environment on behavior and self-states. Vaknin also delves into the concept of self-states, constructs, introjects, and defense mechanisms, highlighting the role of anxiety in therapy and the importance of changing the external environment for personal transformation. He challenges traditional psychological models and emphasizes the fluidity and adaptability of human personality.
Hijacked by Narcissist’s Serpent Voice? Do THIS!
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of separating from a narcissist and reclaiming one’s sense of self. He emphasizes the need to identify and silence the narcissist’s voice in one’s mind, and to reawaken one’s own authentic voice. He warns against premature therapy and the potential for internalized negative voices to collude with the narcissist’s voice.
Betrayal, Trauma, Dissociation: Roots of Cluster B Personality Disorders (Compilation)
The text discusses the theory of structural dissociation, which posits that trauma can cause the personality to divide into an apparently normal part (ANP) and an emotional part (EP). The ANP attempts to function in daily life and avoid trauma-related memories, while the EP contains the traumatic memories and associated emotions. This division can lead to various dissociative symptoms and disorders, including PTSD, CPTSD, and dissociative identity disorder (DID). The theory also suggests that different parts of the personality can have varying degrees of autonomy, memory access, and sense of self. Treatment involves integrating these dissociated parts to achieve a more cohesive sense of self and improved functioning.
How Narcissist Betrays YOU to Become Himself (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin explains the narcissist’s shared fantasy, which is a space where they can re-experience their childhood trauma safely. The shared fantasy has multiple stages, including co-idealization, dual mothership, mental discard, and devaluation. The narcissist’s pursuit of betrayal in their relationships is not the same as a cuckold’s motivation, as the narcissist seeks to recreate the betrayal they experienced in childhood. The narcissist’s only meaningful relationships are within a shared fantastic space, which is highly addictive and generates stalking behaviors and virulent hatred. The narcissist uses a variant of this strategy in all intimate settings, for example, in friendships or interpersonal relations.
Economics=Psychology+Counterfactual Models
Economics is not a science but rather a branch of psychology, as it deals with human behavior. Traditional economic theories and models fail to accurately predict and account for human irrationality, long-term investment horizons, and the role of innovation in growth and development. The field of behavioral economics is gaining traction as it combines psychology and economics, focusing on human cognition, emotions, and decision-making. To improve the field of economics, it should be treated as a branch of psychology, focusing on the complex and unpredictable nature of human beings.
It Hurts to Move On, Healing is Painful
Professor Sam Vaknin warns that acts of self-love and healing are always painful and agonizing. Getting rid of toxic people, gaining insights into your shortcomings, confronting trauma and abuse, and investing hard work in introspection and therapy are arduous tasks that require suffering. There is no shortcut to healing, and people should be prepared to suffer before they can heal.
Mental Illness: No Excuse for Abuse
Psychopaths and narcissists often use alloplastic and autoplastic defenses to mask their immoral and antisocial behavior. Autoplastic defenses involve blaming oneself for the consequences of one’s own choices and decisions, while alloplastic defenses involve blaming others for the outcomes of one’s own choices and decisions. These defenses often coexist and interact with each other, and individuals may use them to preserve cognitive distortions and reframe reality in a way that does not cause them undue trauma. The need to deny victimhood and maintain a sense of control can also contribute to the use of these defenses.