Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey! (Part 2)
Narcissists and psychopaths may possess empathy, but they use it as a weapon to extract narcissistic supply or in the pursuit of antisocial and sadistic goals. They empathize with their possessions, objects, pets, and other sources of narcissistic supply or material benefits. However, this is not real empathy, but a mere projection of their own insecurities and fears onto others. People tend to feel revolted, repelled, and scared when they come across narcissists or psychopaths, as they strike their interlocutors as being some kind of alien lifeforms or artificial intelligence.
Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey!
Narcissists have the ability to see through other people’s emotional shields and know when they are deviating from the truth. They can intuitively grasp other people’s self-interested goals and accurately predict their strategies and tactics. Narcissists can’t stand self-important, self-inflated, pompous, vigorous, self-righteous, sanctimonious, and hypocritical people because they recognize themselves in them. They expose people’s vulnerabilities and force them to confront their true selves, their dead-end careers, their mundane lives, the death of their hopes and dreams and wishes, their shattered illusions.
Re-integrating the Narcissistic Personality
The lack of emotional self-acceptance is a problem that cannot be solved by cognitive substitutes. The root of the problem is the inner dialogue between disparaging voices and countervailing truths to the contrary. The disordered dialogue, the dysfunctional, the non-performing dialogue, involves widely disparate, different interlocutors. The first step is to clearly identify the various segments that together, however incongruently, constitute the personality.
DSM V Alternative Model for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) is the bible of the psychiatric and psychological profession. The DSM-5 provides diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but these criteria are deeply flawed and do not reflect the knowledge accumulated over the last 14 years. The DSM-5 attempts to remedy these shortcomings by proposing an alternative model of narcissism, which is more advanced than the DSM-4 but still falls short in certain areas. Overall, the DSM-5 is light years more advanced than the DSM-4 in subsuming and synthesizing current knowledge about narcissists, but there is still a long way to go.
Narcissist: I want it ALL and NOW! (Delayed Gratification and Entitlement)
Narcissists cannot delay gratification and are creatures of the here and now. They cannot form stable relationships, maintain a job or career path, or accumulate material wealth. The narcissist’s life is characterized by jerky, episodic careers, relationships, marriages, and domiciles. The narcissist is possessed of a low self-esteem and is unable to love himself or others. The narcissist’s interpersonal relationships are deformed and sick, and he recreates conflicts with his primary objects in his marriage.
Inner Voices, Narcissism, and Codependence
Narcissists and codependents possess introgets, which are inner voices that are mostly negative and sadistic. These voices enhance the narcissist’s underlying ego destiny, rendering them unhappy with who they are and discontent with the way they act. The narcissist’s sense of self-worth is affected by their sadistic and uncompromising superego, which affects their sense of self-worth and worthiness, self-knowledge, and self-confidence. The narcissist’s whole life is an attempt to satisfy the demands of their inner tribunal and to prove their judgment wrong, which is at the root of their unresolved and unresolvable conflicts.
Narcissist’s False Narrative and False Self
The narcissist constructs a false self that is godlike and seeks admiration, adulation, and attention from others. They create a narrative of their life that is partly confabulated to prove the veracity of their grandiose claims. However, reality intrudes, and a gap opens between their self-perception and their pedestrian existence. The narcissist copes with this by denying reality and inventing a new narrative that accommodates the intrusive data.
Amnesiac Narcissist’s Selective Memory: It’s All About Narcissistic Supply!
The author describes his experience of dissociative amnesia, where he has no recollection of events, people, or emotions. He questions why some memories are retained while others are discarded, and concludes that he only retains information that can help him elicit narcissistic supply from others. He alters his biography to suit his audience and forgets what he has said soon after. He feels like a series of still frames, trapped in a two-dimensional existence, and craves adulation from his audience.
System Re-victimizes, Pathologizes Victim, Sides with Offender, Abuser
The system, including academic institutions, law enforcement agencies, and the courts, often fails to take victims of abuse seriously and instead pathologizes and diminishes them. This is due to a lack of education and awareness about abuse and domestic violence. Abusers are often possessive, jealous, dependent, and narcissistic, while victims may blame themselves or have a history of abuse. Mental health professionals may also be biased towards the abuser and pathologize the victim, making it difficult for victims to receive proper help. Victims may need to stage a well-calibrated performance to convince therapists that they are victims and not be re-victimized by the system.
Narcissist: Set Firm Personal Boundaries!
Personal boundaries are essential to protect oneself from abusive behavior. It is important to set boundaries clearly and communicate them to others, including the consequences of violating them. It is crucial to enforce boundaries consistently and involve law enforcement or friends and colleagues if necessary. One should be vigilant, doubting, and not gullible, and expose the abuser to their collaborators.