Witnessing the Narcissist’s Glory: Secondary Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists exist by reflection, living through the memories of others. The essence of secondary narcissistic supply is witnessing the narcissist’s glory days, and the narcissist needs to be actively reminded of his achievements and moments of glory. Memories of past grandeur substitute for narcissistic supply, and the main function of people in the narcissist’s life is to tell the narcissist how great he is because of how great he was. The disappearance of witnesses causes the narcissist to fade, and the narcissist is incapable of ever knowing himself except via and through other people.
Narcissistic, Passive-aggressive Organizations and Bureaucracies
Bureaucracies tend to behave passive-aggressively, frustrating their own constituencies and fostering dependence. This behavior is similar to pathological narcissism, with a lack of impulse control and deficient ability to empathize. Collectives perpetuate their existence regardless of whether they have any role left and how well they function. The measure of success of these institutions is in how many failures they have had to endure or have fostered, not how many successes.
Narcissist Uses Money to Enslave, Bribe Victim
Narcissists use money to manipulate and control their victims, who often equate money with love and become entangled in the narcissist’s web. Victims may engage in self-deception and cognitive dissonance to justify their sacrifices and remain on the narcissist’s good side. However, they may eventually rebel and become passive-aggressive, bitter, depressed, and paranoid. If they do not extricate themselves in time, they may acquire the traits and behavior patterns of their narcissistic abusers and form a shared psychosis mediated by money.
Money: Narcissist’s License to Abuse
Money is a love substitute for the narcissist, allowing them to be their corrupt selves and buy absolution, forgiveness, and acceptance. It is a license to sin and a permit to be unmitigated self. Money liberates the mind of the narcissist, allowing them to concentrate on attaining the desired position on top. The narcissist is addicted to money because it is the freedom not to behave in a way that is unbearable to them in the long run.
Morally Insane Psychopath: A Brief History of Psychopaths and Antisocials
The concept of personality disorders began less than a hundred years ago, with the French psychiatrist Pinel coining the phrase “mal de son” to describe patients who lacked impulse control and were prone to outbursts of violence. The term “moral insanity” was widely used for almost a century, but physicians sought to replace it with something more objective and scientific. The diagnosis of psychopathy has been expanded to include people who harm and inconvenience themselves, as well as others. Today, most practitioners rely on either the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual or the International Classification of Diseases to diagnose personality disorders.
Codependent No More: Situational Codependence
Situational co-dependence can develop in individuals who experience a life crisis, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one, resulting in a fear of abandonment and loneliness. Patients rush into new relationships to avoid being alone, but this can lead to dysfunctional behaviors that are intended to fend off abandonment. The conflict between conscious emotions and unconscious anxiety can lead to the development of situational co-dependence as a coping strategy. Patients can overcome this by choosing the wrong partner, proving to themselves that they are not co-dependent, and re-establishing their autonomy and self-control.
Civilization Ntopia: To Hell in a Narcissistic Handbasket
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the rise of pathological narcissism in modern society, which he believes is a ubiquitous phenomenon. He argues that healthy narcissism is rendered pathological by abuse and trauma, which are universal human behaviours. Vaknin also suggests that the way pathological narcissism manifests is dependent on the particulars of societies and cultures, and that human collectives can acquire a life and character of their own, which can lead to a common pathology.
Arrested Empathy: Instinctual, Emotional Cognitive, and Cold Empathy
Sam Vaknin discusses the model of empathy, suggesting it is three-partite and develops in children in three phases. He explains that narcissists and psychopaths lack empathy and may possess “cold empathy,” which is devoid of compassion and emotional connection. Vaknin also explores the decline of empathy in society and its impact on social behavior and mental health. He argues that empathy is more important socially than psychologically and that its absence predisposes people to exploit and abuse others.
Nationalism vs. Patriotism: Narcissism vs. Self-love
Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of patriotism, nationalism, and narcissism. He explains how nationalism is exclusionary and oppositional, while patriotism is inclusive and concerned with the here and now. Vaknin also delves into the narcissist’s defense mechanisms, emphasizing the narcissist’s fear of being similar to others and the resulting aggression and hostility. He concludes by highlighting the connection between genetic relatedness and conflict propensities among populations.
Narcissistic Abuse: From Victim to Survivor in 6 Steps
To move on from being a victim of narcissistic abuse, one must abandon the narcissist and move on. Moving on is a process that involves acknowledging and accepting painful reality, learning from the experience, and deciding to act. It is important to grieve and mourn the loss of trust and love, but perpetual grieving is counterproductive. Forgiveness is important, but it should not be a universal behavior. Human relationships are dynamic and require constant assessment. It is not advisable to remain friends with narcissists, as they are only nice and friendly when they want something. Inverted narcissists who remain in relationships with narcissists are victims who deny their own torment and fail to make the transition to survivors.