How Narcissist Is Mortified
Narcissistic behavior can be modified through treatment, but pathological narcissism is unchangeable. Narcissists have empathic aphantasia, meaning they cannot visualize other people in an empathic way. The misinformation effect is a bigger problem for narcissists than for normal people because they have severe problems with their memory and are dissociative. The longer the delay between the presentation of the original event and the post-event information, the more likely it is that individuals will incorporate the misinformation into the new memory.
Dangerous Shared Fantasies: Coercive Control and Collusive Infidelity
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses shared fantasy, object constancy, mortification, enabling in codependency, toxic masculinity, and coercive control. Coercive control is a pattern of controlling behaviors that create an unequal power dynamic in a relationship, resulting in physical violence. Projective identification and collusive infidelity are also discussed. Vaknin suggests that a state legislature could create a new offense based upon the fraud-like nature of coercively controlling behavior.
Expose Narcissist’s Secret Speech
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how narcissists use code and a cipher to manipulate others, including various techniques such as counterfactuality, victim language, projection, gaslighting, and passive aggression. He advises ignoring the hidden message and not responding to the occult message when communicating with a narcissist. He also discusses the evasiveness of narcissists and psychopaths, their competitive nature, and their use of alloplastic defenses to shift blame and deny responsibility for their actions. Finally, he explains that mentally ill people cannot be reasoned with, and their speech acts and decisions need to be deconstructed.
Dissolve YOUR Snapshot, Amplify Anxiety of Narcissist: Love Slaves No More!
Professor Sam Vaknin teaches two techniques to deal with a narcissist: dissolving the snapshot and amplifying the narcissist’s abandonment anxiety. The first technique involves negating positive sentences and amplifying negative ones to create discrepancies between the idealized snapshot of the narcissist and the real person. The second technique involves playing on the narcissist’s abandonment anxiety by displaying physical weakness, illness, disability, or dropping hints of abandonment. Vaknin also discusses the development of the self in infants and how it is shaped by the mother’s responses, and the impact of unexplained events on our emotions.
Being is Slavery, Nothingness is Freedom (Sartre’s “Being and Nothingness”, FIRST LECTURE)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of nothingness and its relationship with consciousness, self, and freedom. He explores Jean-Paul Sartre’s ideas on nothingness and how it is a capacity of our consciousness that has evolutionary advantages. Vaknin also delves into the concept of bad faith and self-deception, which is the easy way out of dealing with conflicts and dissonances. He argues that bad faith is a choice and a decision made out of freedom and nothingness. Finally, he discusses Sartre’s rejection of Freud’s theory of self-deceit and repression and how individuals are 100% responsible for their actions.
Drama Queens/Kings: Narcissists, Borderlines
Dramatic behavior is common in cluster B personality disorders, such as narcissistic, borderline, and antisocial personality disorders. Drama serves various psychological functions, including enhancing functionality, distancing oneself from trauma, regulating self-esteem, and manipulating others. It can also be a diversionary tactic or a form of emotional blackmail. While attention-seeking is often associated with dramatic behavior, it is not the primary motivation for most individuals with cluster B personality disorders.
Boredom is Good For You
Boredom is not a bad thing, but rather the meaning of life. It is a reaction to overstimulation and a defense against being overwhelmed by life. Western civilization has developed defenses against boredom, such as the unconscious, fantasy, mastery, action, and diversion, but these only lead to increased boredom. Embracing profound existential boredom can lead to a healthy, meaningful, and authentic life, ultimately leading to enlightenment and freedom.
Covert Borderline Predicted: Standard Model of Personality Disorders (McGill University)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between the classic and covert borderline personality disorders. The covert borderline internalizes their struggles, while the classic externalizes them. The covert is sadistic, punitive, goal-oriented, and may engage in triangulation, while the classic engages in triangulation to restore relationships or please people. The covert is preoccupied with appearances, while the classic is preoccupied with boredom and has an aesthetic taste. The covert borderline may be an activist and has apparent enthusiasm for socio-political affairs, while the classic couldn’t care less and is a pathological liar.
12 Treatments for Narcissists, Other Cluster B Personality Disorders (Borderlines, Psychopaths)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various psychotherapies, including behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and the third wave of behavioral therapy, which combines cognitive behavior therapy (CBT) with other elements. He also talks about psychodynamic therapies, which reject the idea that cognition can influence emotion. Vaknin explains that no known therapy is effective with narcissism itself, but many therapies are effective at modifying the behaviors of the narcissist. He notes that narcissists are notoriously unsuitable for collaborative efforts of any kind and are the most difficult patients in therapy.
Codependency State Of Mind, Not State Of Affairs
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the relationship between narcissists and their intimate partners, explaining that narcissists only need their partners to provide them with sex, supply, sadistic and narcissistic services. He also clarifies the terms codependent, counterdependent, and independent and discusses dependent personality disorder. The pathogenesis of co-dependency is brought about by parents who teach their children to expect only conditional transactional love, leading to the child feeling rage and anger at the unjust mistreatment. To overcome codependency, one should realize that the world never ends when relationships do, analyze their addiction, make a plan of action, and seek social support.