Here’s Why We’re All Doomed (Excerpt)
In a world that is mentally ill, the construct of individual mental illness is dead. Mental illness of the individual is positively reinforced in a deranged world. The environment no longer provides cues on how to be healthy, and there is no unscripted exposure therapy. Narcissism and psychopathy are thriving, and dark triad personalities are at the top. The sick rise to the top when the world is sick, and there is nothing we can do about this.
Caught in Narcissist’s Pendulum: Romantic Jealousy and Sex
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the contradictory and bizarre behaviors of narcissists, particularly in terms of romantic jealousy, possessiveness, and sexuality. He explains that these behaviors are driven by the narcissist’s need for grandiosity and a sense of uniqueness, as well as their utilitarian, transactional, and instrumental approach to relationships. Narcissists use romantic jealousy and possessiveness to prevent challenges to their grandiosity and to avoid losing their intimate partners, while their fluctuating sexual behaviors serve to captivate and capture partners in the shared fantasy.
How to Be Good Enough Mother
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin answers questions about motherhood and what it means to be a woman. He explains that mothering is a social function and has nothing to do with genitalia or gender roles. A good mother’s main role is to frustrate the child and encourage them to become separate from her, fostering boundaries and a proper reality testing. Vaknin also notes that anyone, regardless of genitalia or body composition, can fulfill the role of a mother, and that mental health issues are the only likely barrier to being a good enough mother.
Transgender, Transsexual: Biology or Society?
Sex is biologically determined by gametes, but there is a god-awful confusion between sex and gender. Gender is a social cultural construct, and gender roles are shaped by societal needs. Gender is performative, and gendered personality is an integral part of identity. Women raise both boys and girls, and studies have shown that women raise girls differently to the way they raise boys, which creates an asymmetry in the way boys and girls are raised.
Genius or Gifted? IQ and Beyond (News Intervention Interview)
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses IQ, intelligence, genius, and giftedness in an interview with News Intervention. He clarifies that any result above 160 is not normatively validated and that intelligence is anything that endows an individual with a comparative advantage at performing a complex task. He also explains that giftedness resembles autism and that it is the ability to accomplish tasks inordinately well or fast by focusing on them to the exclusion of all else. Additionally, he notes that many so-called geniuses with high IQ are dysfunctional and deficient when it comes to life, intimacy, relationships, and social skills.
Curing Your Narcissist (News Intervention Interview)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various treatment modalities for narcissistic personality disorder, including cold therapy, which he developed. Cold therapy aims to render the false self redundant and eliminate the need for narcissistic supply. Vaknin also reviews other therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavior analysis system of psychotherapy, and schema therapy. However, he emphasizes that while some behaviors can be modified, the core of the narcissist remains empty and untouchable.
Are Fathers Needed? Mothers Are, For Sure!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the controversial topic of whether fathers are necessary for raising healthy, functional, and pro-social children. He argues that fathers are largely not needed, and the importance of the mother in the upbringing, shaping, and formation of children is more significant. He also discusses the impact of parental divorce on children’s mental health, family relationships, and education, and highlights that culture, context, and socioeconomic status matter. Additionally, he cites various studies that challenge the idea that father absence has a significant impact on children’s well-being, and argues that the major factors that affect children’s well-being have nothing to do with the father or with his absence.
How to Become the REAL YOU (Interview, News Intervention)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his philosophy of nothingness in an interview with Scott Douglas Jacobson. He explains that nothingness is about choosing to be human, not a lobster, and putting firm boundaries between oneself and the world. Vaknin believes that narcissism is a cry for help and that nothingness is an antidote to it. He advises people to identify the only voice inside them that is truly them and to become authentic.
So, Can You Change Your Attachment Style?
Attachment styles are stable but attachment behaviors can be modified. The internal relationship model is formed in childhood and influences how people interact and build relationships. Life crises and having a good partner can mitigate insecure attachment styles, but personal growth and development come from being vulnerable and open to loss. Internal working models are dynamic and can change with self-awareness and experience.
Capitalism: Religion of Envy
Capitalism is founded on envy, not jealousy, and this relationship drives the system. Envy is a pathological manifestation of destructive aggressiveness, distinct from jealousy, which is constructive. Envy is engendered by the realization of some lack, deficiency, or inadequacy in oneself, and it is a perpetual mobile that feeds on itself. The playing field in capitalism is heavily skewed and biased, and laws that were supposed to have amended or corrected justice and equity are not being implemented because politicians are in the pocket of the rich.