Map Your Happiness, Past and Future Selves (EXCERPT)
The professor teaches three techniques: talking to your past self from the perspective of an actualized dream, writing a letter to your future self, and creating a “map of happiness” by identifying preconditions for things that make you happy. The map helps narrow down the essential elements for happiness and suggests pursuing them for future planning. Additionally, the professor mentions writing columns for Brussels morning and hints at upcoming videos on repetition, compulsion, and fantasy.
How Borderline, Covert Narcissist React To & Spin Rejection, Abandonment
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the fear of rejection and abandonment in individuals with borderline and covert narcissistic personality disorders. He explains how rejection is perceived as total and abandonment as irreversible, leading to extreme reactions and defense mechanisms. He also delves into the role of drama, entitlement, and the aggressive and passive-aggressive techniques used by these individuals to cope with rejection and abandonment. These techniques are often destructive and rarely lead to the desired outcome, ultimately causing further rejection and isolation.
Odd Couples: Codependent-Codependent, Narcissist-Narcissist (1st in Series)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various types of hellish relationships, including those involving covert and overt narcissists, codependents, and different types of narcissists. He explains the dynamics and challenges of these relationships, emphasizing that narcissists of the same type cannot maintain stable relationships, while those of opposing types can. Additionally, he delves into the characteristics and behaviors of somatic and cerebral narcissists, as well as inverted narcissists, and their potential couplings.
When Hoovering Fails, Narcissist Fakes
The text discusses the narcissist’s reaction when someone refuses to conform to their idealized image. When rejected, the narcissist experiences cognitive dissonance and resolves it by rewriting history and reality. They re-idealize the rejected person and then devalue them if they persist in rejecting the narcissist. The narcissist’s internal representation of the rejected person persists in their mind, and they dedicate their life to forcing others to conform to this idealized image.
Are You a Pathological Gambler? Test Yourself!
The professor shares a test to determine if you are a compulsive gambler or a professional gambler. He lists 24 questions and provides a key to interpret the results. He warns that if you answered positively to specific questions, you are likely a compulsive gambler or at risk of becoming one. The test is not a recognized psychological test and is based on the professor’s observations. He advises people to stay away from gambling as the house always has the advantage.
5 Reasons To Grieve, Mourn: Varieties Of Grief And Mourning
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the different types of grief and their underlying causes. He explains that grief can be triggered by unrealized potential, the discrepancy between fantasy and reality, catastrophizing, irretrievable loss, and the loss of identity. He emphasizes that grief can become prolonged and pathological, leading to conditions such as narcissism and borderline personality disorder. Vaknin also highlights the role of shame in exacerbating grief and the profound impact of early childhood abuse on fostering lifelong grief disorders.
Intimate Partners Who Were Sexually Abused in Childhood
Julian Ford discusses the unique dissociative symptoms of sexual violation in complex post-traumatic stress disorder. He describes the conflict between the need for touch and intimacy and the intense disgust or terror experienced by individuals with a history of childhood sexual abuse. Victims of childhood sexual abuse often dread intimacy, sexualize love, and struggle with setting boundaries in adulthood. They may employ defense mechanisms such as self-objectification, dissociation, and self-punitive choices in intimate relationships. These experiences can lead to a complex and challenging dynamic for intimate partners of childhood sexual abuse survivors.
Should Lovebombing Be Criminalized? Not Always! (TalkTV with Trisha Goddard)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the evolution of the definition of coercive control in cases of domestic abuse, particularly focusing on the concept of love bombing. He emphasizes the need for precise definitions to avoid criminalizing normal behaviors and highlights the role of intermittent reinforcement in manipulative control. Additionally, he addresses the applicability of coercive control in workplace situations and the importance of expanding the definition to encompass various relationships.
Self Supplying Narcissist Miracle Cure
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the use of self-supply as a therapeutic strategy for narcissists, arguing that it is superior to current treatment modalities. He explains that self-supply involves the narcissist becoming their own exclusive source of narcissistic supply, leading to reduced anxiety and depression, stabilization of self-worth, and the potential for healing and integration. Vaknin emphasizes the need for mental health practitioners to transition from manipulative dependency on external supply to teaching narcissists to rely on self-supply, ultimately leading to better social behavior and a sense of secure base.
Women Narcissistically Mortified More than Men: Mortification not Injury (with Daria Zukowska)
Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of narcissistic mortification, distinguishing it from narcissistic injury, wound, and scar. He explains the process and its effects on narcissists, including self-awareness and suicidal ideation. Vaknin also addresses the potential coping mechanisms and the association of shame with narcissism.