People-pleasers and Pathological Charmers
People pleasers are often dishonest and manipulative, seeking to foster dependence in their beneficiaries. They use a range of coping strategies, including infantilization and self-sacrifice. People pleasers are a subset of pathological charmers, who are mostly narcissists. Pathological charmers use their charm to manipulate others and exert control, and feel threatened when their charm fails to elicit narcissistic supply.
Narcissist: Stable Life or Roller Coaster?
Narcissists are dependent on and addicted to fluctuating narcissistic supply, leading to volatility in their lives and moods. Classic narcissists maintain an island of stability in their lives, while the other dimensions of their existence wallow in chaos and unpredictability. Borderline narcissists react to instability in one area of their life by introducing chaos into all other dimensions of their existence. Narcissists of all kinds hate routine and avoid it as part of their emotional involvement prevention mechanisms, which prevent them from getting emotionally involved, bonding, attaching, and subsequently being hurt.
Paranoia, Narcissistic Mirroring, and Narcissistic Reflection
Narcissists tend to react with paranoia when they feel threatened, but these attacks tend to fade and the narcissist frequently homes in on new agents of persecution. The narcissist’s paranoia is a grandiose fantasy aimed to regulate their sense of self-worth. The narcissist’s partner tends to encourage their paranoid or threatening attention, and this is a game of two. Living with a narcissist can tilt one’s mind toward abnormal reactions, and even after separation, the narcissist’s partners typically still care for the narcissist greatly.
Zombie Narcissist: Deficient Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists are constantly seeking praise, adoration, admiration, approval, applause, attention, and other forms of narcissistic supply. When they fail to obtain sufficient supply, they react much like a drug addict would. They become dysphoric, depressed, and may resort to alternative addictions. In extreme cases of deprivation, they may even entertain suicidal thoughts. Narcissists also have a sense of magical thinking, believing that they will always prevail and that good things will always happen to them, rendering them fearless and cloaked in divine and cosmic immunity.
Anxiety, Depression, and Narcissism
Depression is a form of aggression that is directed at the depressed person rather than at their environment. This regime of repressed and mutated aggression is a characteristic of both narcissism and depression. Narcissism is sometimes described as a form of low-intensity depression. Depression is how this kind of patient experiences their overflowing reservoir of aggression.
Narcissist: No Sex, please, I am Cerebral!
Narcissists are autoerotic and prefer masturbation to sex. They view women with contempt and seek to torment them. The cerebral narcissist is often celibate and prefers pornography and sexual auto-stimulation to the real thing. They are afraid of encounters with the opposite sex and are even more afraid of emotional involvement or commitment that they fancy themselves prone to develop following a sexual encounter.
The Signs of the Narcissist
Narcissists are difficult to spot, but there are subtle signs that can be picked up on, such as entitlement markers, idealization and devaluation, and a lack of empathy. Narcissists are often perceived as anti-social and are unable to secure the sympathy of others. They are also prone to projecting a false self and using primitive defense mechanisms such as splitting, projection, projective identification, and intellectualization.
Types of of Abusive Behaviors: A Proposed Classification
Abusive conduct is not uniform and can be categorized in various ways. Overt versus covert abuse, explicit versus stealth or ambient abuse, projective versus directional abuse, cathartic versus functional abuse, pattern or structured abuse versus stochastic or random abuse, monovalent versus polevalent abuse, characteristic personal style abuse versus atypical abuse, and normative versus deviant abuse are some of the distinctions that can be made. It is important to distinguish between normative and deviant abuse, and a cultural context is critical in assessing when someone crosses the line and becomes a deviant abuser.
How Can I Trust Again?
Trust is an essential component of love and an important test of it. Mistrust or distrust are induced by life’s circumstances, and to continue to not trust is to reward the people who had wronged us and rendered us distrustful in the first place. Trust must be put to the test lest it go stale and stale. Whatever the act of betrayal, it has limited hint, and putting a bridge of trust in perspective goes a long way towards the commencement or healing process.
Pedophile Narcissist: Narcissism, Pedophilia, and Hebephilia
Pedophiles are attracted to pre-pubescent children and come from all walks of life. They have no common socioeconomic background, and most have not been sexually abused in childhood. Pedophiles are drawn to what children symbolize, such as innocence and trust, and they view their relationships with children in a peculiar light. Pedophilia is a culture-bound syndrome, and the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual is considering rendering hebephilia as a subtype of pedophilia.