Hurt in Intimacy: Path to Self-love (with Mike Kim, Standup Comedian)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various topics in these transcripts. He talks about the differences between sex addiction and love addiction, the importance of intimacy for self-love and self-awareness, and the dangers of the self-help industry. He also shares his observations on the current state of society, including the prevalence of occult and esoteric thinking, conspiracy theories, and magical thinking, and the decline in literacy and attention span. Additionally, he discusses the correlation between narcissism and conspiracism and clarifies the differences between narcissists, psychopaths, and borderlines.
External Regulation: Inverted Narcissist not Codependent or Borderline (with Daria Żukowska)
Inverted narcissism is a form of covert narcissism where the individual derives their narcissistic supply from an overt narcissist. They have a symbiotic relationship with the overt narcissist, as they receive attention and supply from them, even if it’s in the form of abuse. Inverted narcissists are different from echoists, as they focus on self-annihilation and becoming their source of supply, while echoists are more focused on their own internal dynamics. Inverted narcissists are unlikely to become classic narcissists, as they are a subtype of covert narcissism and are more focused on obtaining supply in any form.
Your “Self”? No Such Thing! (with Benny Hendel)
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that the concept of a unitary, unchanging self is flawed and that people are more like rivers, constantly changing. He proposes a theory of pseudo-identity, where individuals have multiple self-states that are brought forth by an internal operating system based on self-efficacy. Mental health disorders can arise from competing self-states, creating a binary system. Vaknin believes that early childhood traumas prevent the synthesis of these self-states, leaving individuals fragmented for life.
Are YOU a simulation? (with Benny Hendel)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses philosopher David Chalmers’ view that simulations are as real as reality and that reality may be a simulation. Vaknin disagrees with Chalmers on two main points: 1) Vaknin believes that there will always be a conscious act of will required to switch between reality and simulations, and 2) even if our reality is a simulation, it is still our privileged frame of reference and cannot be escaped. Vaknin argues that Chalmers’ view requires an impossible vantage point outside of both reality and simulations to compare them.
Passive Aggressive Or Covert Narcissist?
Covert narcissists and passive-aggressive individuals share some traits, but there are key differences between them. Covert narcissism involves hidden grandiosity, while passive aggression is about internalizing negative emotions and expressing them indirectly. Both can be emotionally invested in failure and have a negative impact on others. However, passive-aggressive individuals focus more on frustrating and undermining others, while covert narcissists are more invested in their own grandiosity.
Beware the Stupid Takeover! (Sam Vaknin Rant, Read PINNED COMMENT)
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that stupidity is taking over the world, with technology empowering mediocre individuals and fostering a self-delusion of malignant egalitarianism. He believes that the rise of stupidity is due to a reverse Flynn effect, where average IQ scores have declined, and the tolerance and legitimization of stupidity in society. Vaknin also criticizes the democratic ideal and the influence of technology, which has allowed stupidity to spread like a viral pandemic, overwhelming systems of governance and decision-making.
Narcissists, Empaths, Viking Fantasies (Q&As with Eve Tawfik)
British journalist Eve Torfic interviews Dr. Sam Vaknin about narcissism. Vaknin explains that a relationship with a narcissist can work if one suspends their autonomy and serves the narcissist’s needs, which he summarizes as the four S’s: sex, supply, safety, and services. He also discusses the allure of narcissists, the concept of shared fantasy, and the potential for self-awareness in narcissists. They touch on topics like victimhood, the future of society with the rise of the metaverse, and the decline of traditional values and community. Vaknin expresses concern about the sustainability of life as society becomes more fragmented and atomized.
Grieving Your Dead Narcissist
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the phenomenon of grieving the death of a narcissist. He explains that prolonged grief syndrome is typical of ex-partners who were or are narcissists and that closure becomes impossible when the narcissist dies. The grieving process is complicated by the narcissistic abuse, which is an invasion, a breach of boundaries, and a torment intended to modify behavior to the point of vanishing. The narcissist’s absence in relationships and internal emptiness are on full display when he dies, and the introject of the narcissist is extremely active, taking over the mind of the grieving person.
Therapy Session with Vince(nt) van Gogh (Estrangement Technique)
Professor Sam Vaknin uses a technique called estrangement in his therapy sessions, where he addresses his patient with the name of someone significant in their life to elicit an outsider’s point of view and provoke the patient. In this session, he speaks with Vincent Van Gogh and suggests that Van Gogh has borderline personality disorder. Vaknin encourages Van Gogh to seek help, take a break from his current life, and gain perspective on his relationships and emotional investment in his painting.
Alien World of Narcissism (TalkTV with Trisha Goddard)
Professor Sam Vaknin, a leading authority on narcissism, explains that healthy narcissism is a normal part of early childhood development, but when it persists into adulthood, it becomes pathological. Narcissists are unable to regulate their self-esteem and rely on others for attention and validation, often creating a false self that is grandiose and perfect. In relationships, narcissists commoditize their partners and see them as extensions of themselves, seeking sex, services, supply, and safety. Vaknin advises those in relationships with narcissists to cut their losses and leave, as narcissism can be contagious and damaging.