Love Addiction: Craving Infatuation, Limerence
Love addiction is a complex and relatively new topic in psychopathology, characterized by an individual’s maladaptive and pervasive interest in romantic partners, often leading to a lack of control and negative consequences. Love addicts often fall in love with fantasies or complete strangers, and their addiction leads to extreme emotional dysregulation and unboundaried behavior. The role of fantasy in love addiction is significant, and it is closely related to codependency and other issues. Treatment for love addiction is still limited, but cognitive behavior therapy and support groups like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous may help some individuals.
BDSM, Sexual Sado-Masochism Disambiguated
BDSM is not the same as classic overt sexual sadism and classic overt sexual masochism. Sexual submission and domination are usually intra dyadic practices, taking place in couples among intimate partners, and rarely conducted in public. BDSM is a ritualized extended fantasy, a roleplay, while sexual masochism revolves around self-objectification, sexual degradation, extreme sexual degradation, dehumanization, losing one’s identity, sometimes faceless self-pornography, the infliction and reception of real pain. Sexual sadism is about being turned on by torturing a partner, observing the agony, observing the writhing, observing the physical changes, observing the uncontrolled dysregulated reactions to pain, observing the disintegration, the tears, all this turns on the sadist.
Avoid 3 Errors in Search of Meaning in Life
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the human search for meaning and the three mistakes we make when trying to find it. He argues that we should let the path choose us, rather than trying to choose our own path, and that we already have all the answers we need, but lack the ability to identify them. He also suggests that we should focus on asking the right questions, rather than seeking the correct answers, and that relationships and love are the foundation of meaning. Finally, he quotes the Dalai Lama, who suggests that many people sacrifice their health and present happiness for the sake of money and the future, ultimately dying without having truly lived.
Narcissists Who Forgive, Communal Psychopaths
Self-proclaimed experts on narcissism and psychopathy are spreading misinformation online, according to Professor Sam Vaknin. One of the most common falsehoods is that all psychopaths are narcissists, which is not true. While the two conditions share some traits, they are not the same. Vaknin also cited a study that found many narcissists are forgiving, which contradicts the idea that they are merciless and vindictive. He advised people to look for information from recognised experts in the field.
When Love Resembles Hate: Self-deception, Ambivalence, Dissonances
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of love and hatred being two sides of the same coin, and how they can be interchangeable. He explains that both emotions lead to attachment and bonding, and that they can coexist in the same mind, leading to ambivalence. He also delves into how this ambivalence can manifest in mental health disorders and the various defense mechanisms people use to cope with it. Additionally, he explores the different types of dissonance that arise from experiencing love and hate simultaneously, and how it can lead to inaction and trauma-like responses.
Narcissist Dreads Change, Uses Sex to Reduce Anxiety
Narcissists are change-averse due to their belief that they already know everything and their lack of curiosity about themselves and others. They also confuse their internal and external environments, leading to a fear that any change in the external environment will result in self-destruction. To reduce anxiety, narcissists engage in unusual psychosexuality and seek intimate partners to legitimize their sexual preferences. As society becomes more narcissistic, these behaviors become more prevalent, especially among women who conform to male stereotypes to gain attention and validation.
Privacy, Opposite of Narcissism
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses privacy and its relationship with narcissism. He explains that privacy is the opposite of narcissism, as narcissists do not have a private life and overshare everything. The erosion of privacy has massive implications for the rise of narcissism, and the encroachment of the public is inexorable. The successful defense of one’s privacy sustains one’s self-esteem, and the invasion of privacy provokes an upwelling of shame, indignation, and a diminished sense of self-worth. Ultimately, the real coinage of the realm is our mental health.
Narcissism – Quo Vadis? (with Anwesh Satpathy)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between narcissism, narcissistic style, and narcissistic personality disorder. He explains that narcissism is a natural developmental stage but can become pathological if it persists into adulthood. He also touches on the fluidity of cluster B personality disorders and the potential for a unified model of personality disorder. Vaknin criticizes the field of psychology, calling it a pseudoscience, and discusses the impact of social media on society, advocating for regulation of technology but not content. He also reflects on the role of elites in society and the potential for a society without elites.
Lonely World, Schizoid Future (and Sex)
The schizoid core, characterized by a lack of identity and a void, is at the foundation of personality and character pathologies. Society is gravitating towards a schizoid solution, with people preferring solitude and avoiding interactions with others. The schizoid world is becoming more narcissistic, psychopathic, and autoerotic, with sex being the last remaining vestige of human contact. The future will be a society in flux, with ad hoc self-assembling networks and no concept of institutions, intimate relationships, or politics.
Introverted, Shy, or Schizoid?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between shyness, avoidant personality disorder, schizoid personality disorder, introversion, homophobia, social anxiety, and anxiety disorder. He explains that mental health practitioners often conflate these constructs because they rely on observable phenomena rather than etiology and psychodynamics. He then focuses on the difference between introversion and schizoid personality disorder, stating that introverts are deliberate, slow, guarded, paranoid, and skeptical, and are never impulsive. The professor also notes that anxiety plus impulsivity equals psychopathy, while anxiety plus avoidance equals introversion. Finally, he distinguishes between shyness, introversion, and other related personality traits, emphasizing that these personality traits have distinct motivational forces and lead to different personal and peer reactions.