You Don’t Deserve To Be Happy, Loved ( Bad Object)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the “bad object” and its impact on individuals’ self-perception and behavior. He delves into the role of harsh inner critics and how they instill feelings of unworthiness and self-loathing. Vaknin also explores how individuals may reject happiness and embrace misery due to the influence of the bad object, leading to self-sabotaging, self-defeating, and self-destructive behaviors. Additionally, he examines the connection between masochism and narcissism, as well as the emotional investment and catharsis in narcissistic individuals.
How Borderline Sees YOU ( Intimate Partner)
Professor Sam Vaknin proposes a new diagnosis called covert borderline, which better suits men as it combines borderline and narcissism. Borderlines have two anxieties: abandonment anxiety and engulfment anxiety, which lead to approach and avoidance behaviors. In the approach phase, the borderline sees their partner as their savior and regulator of emotions, while in the avoidance phase, they become paranoid and view their partner as an enemy. This creates a roller coaster of emotions and pain for both the borderline and their partner.
Our Cluster B Future (with Dr. Martin Burckhardt)
The text is a conversation between two individuals discussing the impact of narcissism and borderline personality disorder on psychology and society. They explore the role of the environment in shaping identity and the transition from stability to growth in human history. They also touch on the impact of technology and the internet on human behavior and mental health. The conversation delves into the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and technology, and the implications for individuals and society.
How Psychology Stats Lie To You
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the problems with using statistics in psychology, including the fact that many psychologists do not know how to use statistics properly, the vast majority of psychological studies are comprised of a tiny sample, and the issue of normative validation. He also identifies biases that limit a specific set of statistics and the issue of graphical presentation, which can be misleading. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of scrutinizing the validity of the source and questioning the figures presented.
False Hope of Hot and Cold: Intermittent Reinforcement, Trauma Bonding, Approach-Avoidance
Intermittent reinforcement is a pervasive phenomenon that involves two or more people, and it is not always abusive or dysfunctional. It involves regular signals, messages, and treatment that are cruel, abusive, and disempathic, interspersed with displays of extreme affection. Intermittent reinforcement can be attributed to four types of schedules: fixed interval, variable interval, fixed ratio, and variable ratio. These behaviors wear down the victim and make them more amenable to manipulation, which is the idea behind intermittent reinforcement.
Enabler Is Your Enemy, Snake in Your Grass
Enablers are not friends, but enemies who encourage self-destructive behaviors and amplify self-harm. They participate in self-defeat and self-destruction, providing tools for self-annihilation. Enablers are charming, smiling, and solicitous, posing as best friends, but they are dangerous people who derive pleasure from inflicting pain and are actually sadists. Beware of enablers.
Impersonal Triangulation
Triangulation is not limited to romantic relationships and can involve any introduction of a third party into what should have been a dyadic relationship. Triangulating partners choose any third party who is perceived as available, and when there is no specific third party, they resort to generalized triangulation statements. Triangulation can occur with an imaginary third party in a fantasy or can be based solely on speech acts, verbal triangulation. Triangulation is usually short-lived and involves a form of gaslighting because it’s not real or truthful.
Narcissistic Families: Pseudomutual, Pseudohostile
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses two types of dysfunctional families: pseudo-mutual and pseudo-hostile. Pseudo-mutual families appear harmonious but suppress individuality and authenticity, while pseudo-hostile families engage in constant bickering to avoid deeper emotions. These family dynamics can lead to long-lasting impacts on children, hindering their development and sense of self. The professor also delves into the psychological background and the impact of these family dynamics on mental health.
Why People-pleasers Can’t Think Straight (Self-states, Constructs, Introjects)
Professor Sam Vaknin explains how constructs reshape reality and how they affect people pleasers and formerly parentified children. These people have specific automatic thoughts that are at the core of their identity. These automatic thoughts pervade all areas of life, all types of functioning, all acts, all decisions and choices, all cognitions, and all emotions. The constructs latch onto these automatic thoughts, appropriate them, snatch them, and they use them to manipulate the environment, the behavior.
Trump Warning: My Moral and Professional Obligation
Psychologist Sam Vaknin warns that Donald Trump is a narcissist and a menace to society. He argues that people with personality disorders should be subjected to psychological assessments before being eligible to run for public office. Vaknin believes that the Goldwater Rule, which prohibits diagnosing public figures remotely without their consent, is antiquated and wrong. He argues that there is enough information available about Trump to diagnose him with absolute certainty and safety.