Shameful Core of Covert Narcissist: Inferior Vulnerability Compensated
The text discusses the role of shame in narcissism, distinguishing between grandiose overt narcissism and covert vulnerable narcissism. It explores shame’s impact on behavior and the differences between the two types of narcissism. The author references various studies and theories to support the idea that shame is a central feature of vulnerable narcissism and its association with mental illness and addictive behaviors. The text also highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of narcissism and its relationship with shame.
Mourning Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of prolonged grief disorder (PGD), previously known as complicated grief, which is characterized by an inability to move on from a loss. He explains that grief can become a central organizing principle in a person’s life, leading to a constricted existence and an inability to enjoy life. Vaknin suggests that everyone experiences prolonged grief at some point, and it is considered pathological if it lasts longer than a year. He also delves into the relationship between narcissists and their victims, describing how narcissists can induce a state of prolonged grief in their victims by offering a simulation of unconditional love and then withdrawing it, leaving the victim feeling abandoned and mourning the loss of the relationship, which was never real to begin with. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of separating from the narcissist both physically and mentally to break the symbiotic relationship and begin the process of healing and individuation.
Gender Dysphoria: Real or Social Contagion? (And Detransitioning)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the lack of scientific research on gender dysphoria and the phenomenon of detransitioning. He emphasizes the need for more long-term studies to better understand the experiences of transgender individuals and those who detransition. Vaknin also calls for the transgender community to be more open to diverse voices and experiences, and for the scientific community to take gender dysphoria more seriously and conduct rigorous research on the topic.
FIREWALL YOUR Relationships, Yourself: Boundaries vs. Borders
In relationships, borders are like membranes that allow in only selective types of communication and are policed by cultural and social mores. Borders are interpersonal and are forms of selectivity that regulate structure and introduce order into relationships. Boundaries are individual and are rules of conduct, red lines in the sand. Personal boundaries need to be communicated to people around you, including your intimate partner, and each boundary has to come with a cost, with a price tag. The ability to thrive in intimacy is inextricably linked to the capacity to maintain and enforce personal boundaries and negotiate and compromise interdichoic, intradiadic inside the couple, borders.
Narcissist’s Sadism, Masochism, and Self-Destructiveness (ENGLISH responses)
Narcissists are not masochistic because they do not love themselves, and masochism is a form of self-love. Narcissists are self-destructive, and their sadism and masochism are instrumental and functional, used to control people and obtain results. Self-destructiveness is a way for the narcissist to prove to themselves that they are alive when they cannot obtain narcissistic supply. BDSM can be a safe environment for the narcissist to transfer control and rest, knowing that nothing bad will happen.
How to Raise a Narcissistic Child, Winner in a Sick World
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how to raise a child to be a narcissist, arguing that narcissism can be a positive adaptation for success in life. He explains that pathological narcissism is a reaction to prolonged abuse and trauma in early childhood or adolescence. Vaknin then lists 20 ways to raise a narcissistic child, including being a toxic parent, criticizing the child constantly, making the child feel guilty, and fostering sibling rivalry. He concludes by stating that narcissists are winners in today’s society, and parents who raise their children to be narcissists have done their best for them.
Decode, Heal Your Mind With IPAM ( Intrapsychic Activation Model)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his new model of the mind, the intra-psychic activation model (IPAM), and how it can be used to decode the mind and promote healing. He explains that the model correlates internal processes with external outcomes, emphasizing the impact of the environment on behavior and self-states. Vaknin also delves into the concept of self-states, constructs, introjects, and defense mechanisms, highlighting the role of anxiety in therapy and the importance of changing the external environment for personal transformation. He challenges traditional psychological models and emphasizes the fluidity and adaptability of human personality.
Hijacked by Narcissist’s Serpent Voice? Do THIS!
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of separating from a narcissist and reclaiming one’s sense of self. He emphasizes the need to identify and silence the narcissist’s voice in one’s mind, and to reawaken one’s own authentic voice. He warns against premature therapy and the potential for internalized negative voices to collude with the narcissist’s voice.
Betrayal, Trauma, Dissociation: Roots of Cluster B Personality Disorders (Compilation)
The text discusses the theory of structural dissociation, which posits that trauma can cause the personality to divide into an apparently normal part (ANP) and an emotional part (EP). The ANP attempts to function in daily life and avoid trauma-related memories, while the EP contains the traumatic memories and associated emotions. This division can lead to various dissociative symptoms and disorders, including PTSD, CPTSD, and dissociative identity disorder (DID). The theory also suggests that different parts of the personality can have varying degrees of autonomy, memory access, and sense of self. Treatment involves integrating these dissociated parts to achieve a more cohesive sense of self and improved functioning.
How Narcissist Betrays YOU to Become Himself (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin explains the narcissist’s shared fantasy, which is a space where they can re-experience their childhood trauma safely. The shared fantasy has multiple stages, including co-idealization, dual mothership, mental discard, and devaluation. The narcissist’s pursuit of betrayal in their relationships is not the same as a cuckold’s motivation, as the narcissist seeks to recreate the betrayal they experienced in childhood. The narcissist’s only meaningful relationships are within a shared fantastic space, which is highly addictive and generates stalking behaviors and virulent hatred. The narcissist uses a variant of this strategy in all intimate settings, for example, in friendships or interpersonal relations.