Narcissist’s Romantic Jealousy as Negative Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of positive and negative fantasies and their connection to romantic jealousy, control, and memory lapses. He explains that shame is a constant companion of narcissists and is generated by the gap between their ego ideal and reality. When this gap is too large, individuals may transition from a positive fantasy to a negative one, which is easier to actualize in reality. This can lead to romantic jealousy, coercion, and avoidance as strategies to modify reality or maintain the fantasy. These strategies can result in dissociation, memory gaps, and disturbed identity.
EPCACE: Between PTSD and CPTSD (Trauma in Adulthood, Late Onset)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the diagnosis of Enduring Personality Change After Catastrophe Experience (EPCACE) and its differentiation from Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD). He argues that EPCACE should not be subsumed under CPTSD, as the reactions to the diagnostic issues are not the same. He suggests that EPCACE should be reconceived with a set of diagnostic criteria that incorporate symptoms such as somatization, self-harm, and sexual dysfunction. He also believes that diagnoses such as masochistic personality disorder, sadistic personality disorder, and negativistic, passive-aggressive personality disorder should not have been eliminated.
Are You Sure You Are Human?
The lecture explores the question of what it means to be human and how it is becoming increasingly difficult to define. The traditional definition of being human as being distinct from animals and machines is no longer tenable due to evolutionary and technological advancements. The uniqueness of humans may lie in their behavioral unpredictability and awareness of mortality. The lecture also discusses the dethroning of humans in the Western worldview and the recent resurgence of individualism in various fields. The internet is seen as a manifestation of this resurgence, but social media and the attention economy may reverse this trend.
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking: Obsessional Neurosis
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses obsessional neurosis and its connection to dissociation and self-destructiveness. Obsessions and compulsions are linked to traumatic events, and the mind develops a defense against the trauma, which gives rise to the obsession. Obsession and compulsion are a form of displacement, and they are perceived as beneficial because they restore the sense of control and create a fixed, dependable, reliable point in the obsessed person’s life. The opposite of addiction and obsession is connection to oneself and others.
Identify LIARS, LIES in Your Life
There are 11 types of lies, including utilitarian lies, smokescreen lies, compassionate lies, ceremonial lies, compensatory lies, confabulatory lies, inferential lies, hybrid lies, and artistic lies. Gaslighting is a strategy used by psychopaths to make people doubt their own perception of reality, while confabulation is a desperate attempt to breach memory gaps and lapses. Narcissists rarely lie, but instead create a fantasy in which they are emotionally invested and which they fully believe. With the emergence of mass media and social media, lying has been legitimized as a form of art, leading to the rise of artistic lies.
DANGER! Crazymaking Drama in YOUR Relationship
Drama, crazy making, and chaos are defining features of mental health disturbances, particularly in cluster B personality disorders. The reasons behind such behavior vary depending on the disorder, but they often involve a need for attention, a sense of vulnerability, or a misapprehension of limitations. The drama and crazy making are intended to support the self-perception of the individual, whether it be grandiosity, invincibility, or a need for attention. Those in relationships with individuals with these disorders should be aware of the potential risks and dangers.
Some Giving is Wrong
Giving does not necessarily make people happy, as the style of giving is important. Ostentatious and transactional giving can create resentment in beneficiaries. True giving is hidden, unconditional, and comes from the heart, not the wallet. It is about helping others and is altruistic and empathic. All other forms of giving are manipulative and wrong and can result in adverse outcomes for the giver.
17 Ways to “Cure” Narcissism (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various therapies used to treat personality disorders, including behavior therapy, cognitive therapy, and cognitive behavior therapy. He also describes dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), which emphasizes emotional and affect regulation, and other therapies such as cognitive behavioral analysis system of psychotherapy (CBASP), mindfulness-based cognitive therapy (MBCT), pattern-focused psychotherapy, and schema therapy. Vaknin also discusses dynamic psychotherapy, psychodynamic therapy, and psychoanalytic psychotherapy, which are all forms of intensive psychotherapy based on psychoanalytic theory without the element of free association. Finally, he discusses the role of meaning in therapy and introduces three treatment modalities that leverage meaning as a healing tool: the Power Threat Meaning Framework (PTMF), Interpersonal Psychotherapy (IPT-BPD
How To Tell If Someone Is A Pathological Liar
Pathological lying is a compulsive behavior that is not goal-oriented and has no purpose. Pathological liars weave elaborate and extensive lies that are self-destructive and self-defeating. They are emotionally invested in the act of lying and create an environment that is conducive to their subjective well-being. Pathological lying is not a symptom of any other mental illness and is a long-term problem. There are eight types of lies, including utilitarian, smokescreen, compassionate, ceremonial, compensatory, confabulatory, inferential, and hybrid lies.
Why You Mourn Breakup with Narcissist? (Dual Mothership)
The dual mothership concept is a principle developed by Sam Vaknin to explain the prolonged grief involved in narcissistically abusive relationships. It involves the Narcissist becoming the partner’s idealizing mother, offering unconditional love, and the partner becoming the Narcissist’s idealizing mother, offering unconditional love. This process is known as co-idealization, and both parties experience self-love through an idealized image of themselves. When the relationship ends, there is triple mourning involving three losses: the partner’s idealized self, the Narcissist as their mother, and the partner as the Narcissist’s child.