Psychology of Swinging (The Lifestyle)
Swinging, also known as group sex or spouse-sharing, involves sexual acts performed by more than two participants. The psychological background to such pursuits is not clear, but thousands of online chats reveal ten psychodynamic strengths. These include latent and overt bisexuality and homosexuality, the Slut-Madona complex, voyeurism and exhibitionism, vicarious gratification, masochism, legitimized cheating, alleviating boredom, displaying partners, and objectification. Swinging can be a form of art, entertainment, and intimacy-enhancing recreation, but it can also provoke anxiety, romantic jealousy, and guilt.
Narcissist: Can’t Afford Empathy (Dialog with Edwin Rutsch)
Sam Vaknin and Edwin Rutch discuss the concept of using cold empathy to induce social conformity in narcissists and psychopaths. Sam explains that empathy should be made a precondition for complying with the expectations and needs of narcissists and psychopaths, and that it could be used to convince them to play by certain rules. They also discuss the therapeutic process of Focusing and the difference between sensations and emotions. Sam discusses his need for narcissistic supply and how he objectifies people to extract it. The guest discusses their family’s traumatic experiences and their efforts to use empathic listening to heal dysfunction and miscommunication.
Psychopath? 5 Red Flags and 3 Rs Test: Remorse, Remediation, and Restoration
Psychopaths are too good to be true and exhibit information asymmetry. They have alloplastic defenses and an external locus of control. Psychopathy can be a defense against anxiety, and narcissism can develop late in life. To determine if someone’s narcissism and psychopathy are an integral feature of their personality, apply the test of three R’s: remorse, remediation, and restoration. True narcissists and psychopaths fail the three R’s test at every turn.
Fake, Narcissistic – or True Friend?
A true friend respects and trusts you only when you have earned it, while a fake, narcissistic friend respects and trusts you regardless of your behavior. A true friend shows you the truth, while a fake friend only shows you your own reflection. A true friend loves you for who you are, while a fake friend loves themselves in the friendship. With a true friend, love is its own reward, while with a fake friend, there must be some other benefit.
Cold Empathy Garners Narcissistic Supply (Edwin Rutsch and Sam Vaknin)
Sam Vaknin and a guest discuss the relationship between empathy and narcissism, with Sam suggesting that narcissists have “cold empathy” due to childhood trauma and abuse. They also discuss how society is becoming more narcissistic as a reaction to being overwhelmed with pain and an overload of pain in the media. Sam shares his personal experience of growing up in an abusive household and developing a delusional private world as a defense mechanism. He also discusses how empathic reflection and mirroring can provoke new ideas and enhance empathy, even in individuals who lack warm empathy.
Narcissist’s Fantasy Sex Life
Narcissists and psychopaths often have a fantasy-based sex life that reflects their psychodynamic inner landscape, including fear of intimacy, misogyny, control-freak tendencies, auto-eroticism, latent sadism and masochism, problems of gender identity, and various sexual deviances or failures. Their fantasies often involve the aggressive or violent objectification of a faceless, nameless, and sometimes even sexless person, and they are always in unmitigated control of their environment and the people in it. The narcissist’s self-exposure to their intimate partner often elicits reactions of horror, repulsion, and estrangement.
Topsy-turvy: Paul Bloom Against, Vaknin for Empathy (Vaknin and Rutsch)
Summary: Edwin Rutch interviews Sam Vaknin about the concept of empathy and its application in various contexts. They discuss the limitations of individual empathy, the distinction between individual and institutional empathy, and the potential misuse of empathy in foreign policy and aid initiatives. They also explore the relationship between empathy and justice systems, and the need for a more empathic approach in resolving conflicts and restoring connections. The conversation delves into the complexities of measuring and quantifying empathy, and the potential for empathy to be misdirected or misused in various settings.
Narcissist Hates His Fans, Followers, and Admirers
Narcissists depend on their followers for narcissistic supply but resent their addictive dependence and hold their followers in contempt. They see themselves as beyond human comprehension and refuse to grant anyone special privileges. The narcissist demands complete obedience from their followers and punishes those who stray. Cult leaders are often narcissists who failed to become famous and impress the world with their uniqueness, and they resent their followers for witnessing their fraudulence and failure.
Furious Debate: Edwin Rutsch and Sam Vaknin on Empathy
Sam Vaknin, a diagnosed psychopathic narcissist and expert on narcissism, discusses empathy with Edwin Rutch from the Centre for Building a Culture of Empathy. Vaknin explains the two components of empathy, cold empathy and emotional arousal, and argues that while emotional arousal may be innate, the intersubjective component is learned. He also discusses the challenges of understanding and sharing emotions with others, and the differences between narcissism and psychopathy. Vaknin believes that individuals with narcissism and psychopathy are unlikely to develop empathy and that society’s values may be promoting these traits.
Children of Narcissist: Bad Mother’s Voice
There is no such thing as a purely good mother, and the bad mother is always present. The good mother is predictable, reliable, and emotionally safe, while the bad mother is considered paranoid and controlling. The good mother provides unconditional love, while the bad mother provides transactional love. The good son or daughter justifies the bad mother’s behavior, while every good quality of the good mother is rendered bad by the voice of the bad mother in the minds of children of narcissists.