Keys to Understanding Our Times: From Identity to Attention to Reality
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the transitions in human history from the rise of the author and the original, to the age of intellectual property, to the attention economy, and finally to the impending dominance of reality by high-tech giants. He explains the impact of urbanization on the need for attention and the emergence of identity politics. Vaknin also delves into the challenges posed by digital goods, the attention economy, and the potential future of reality being controlled and customized by technology giants. He warns of the potential enslavement of individuals to these technological systems.
How to Resolve Your Inner Conflicts? Deceive Yourself!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the availability of his video transcripts in an Android app and website. He clarifies the difference between parts and self-states in psychology. He then delves into the concept of dissonance and offers five ways to resolve conflicting thoughts and emotions. He also describes various types of dissonance and how they can be resolved using the same five solutions.
How Mentally Ill Cope With Anxiety
Anxiety is an irrational fear that can be exogenic (from the outside) or endogenic (from internal processes). Mentally ill people cope with anxiety in five ways: externalizing anxiety via aggression, conflating external and internal objects, reframing reality and impairing reality testing, reciprocal inhibition, and dissociation. These coping mechanisms can be seen in various personality disorders, such as borderline personality disorder, where dissociation is used to avoid unbearable anxiety. It is important to consult a licensed therapist or psychologist if any of these coping mechanisms are identified in oneself.
What We are Getting Wrong About Mental Illness: Diagnostic Manuals are BROKEN
Professor Sam Vaknin argues that the current diagnostic manuals for mental health disorders, such as the DSM and ICD, are flawed and should be restructured into three parts based on the three phases of life: childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. He believes that mental health disorders should be categorized as brain abnormalities, relational/societal disorders, and innate disorders. Vaknin also questions the validity of antisocial personality disorder as a mental illness, suggesting that it may be more of a tool for social control rather than a proper clinical entity.
Narcissist’s Romantic Jealousy as Negative Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of positive and negative fantasies and their connection to romantic jealousy, control, and memory lapses. He explains that shame is a constant companion of narcissists and is generated by the gap between their ego ideal and reality. When this gap is too large, individuals may transition from a positive fantasy to a negative one, which is easier to actualize in reality. This can lead to romantic jealousy, coercion, and avoidance as strategies to modify reality or maintain the fantasy. These strategies can result in dissociation, memory gaps, and disturbed identity.
Are You Sure You Are Human?
The lecture explores the question of what it means to be human and how it is becoming increasingly difficult to define. The traditional definition of being human as being distinct from animals and machines is no longer tenable due to evolutionary and technological advancements. The uniqueness of humans may lie in their behavioral unpredictability and awareness of mortality. The lecture also discusses the dethroning of humans in the Western worldview and the recent resurgence of individualism in various fields. The internet is seen as a manifestation of this resurgence, but social media and the attention economy may reverse this trend.
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking: Obsessional Neurosis
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses obsessional neurosis and its connection to dissociation and self-destructiveness. Obsessions and compulsions are linked to traumatic events, and the mind develops a defense against the trauma, which gives rise to the obsession. Obsession and compulsion are a form of displacement, and they are perceived as beneficial because they restore the sense of control and create a fixed, dependable, reliable point in the obsessed person’s life. The opposite of addiction and obsession is connection to oneself and others.
DANGER! Crazymaking Drama in YOUR Relationship
Drama, crazy making, and chaos are defining features of mental health disturbances, particularly in cluster B personality disorders. The reasons behind such behavior vary depending on the disorder, but they often involve a need for attention, a sense of vulnerability, or a misapprehension of limitations. The drama and crazy making are intended to support the self-perception of the individual, whether it be grandiosity, invincibility, or a need for attention. Those in relationships with individuals with these disorders should be aware of the potential risks and dangers.
Your Unconscious, Fantasies Not Narcissist’s
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the unconscious in psychology, including different schools of thought and Freud’s trilateral model of the mind. He explains that the unconscious is a language and a public dimension formed by input and feedback from others. Vaknin also discusses the role of fantasy in narcissism, with narcissists being slaves to their own fantasies and inhabiting them more than their victims. Fantasy is a language and a bridge between consciousness and the unconscious, but in narcissism, it takes elements from consciousness and renders them unconscious.
Separating-Individuating From Borderline Partner
Separating and individuating from a borderline partner is different from doing so from a narcissistic partner. The borderline partner outsources their mind to their intimate partner and expects them to regulate their emotions, moods, and stabilize them. The borderline partner regards their intimate partner as both a godlike figure and an abuser, leading to ambivalence and hate-love feelings. To separate from a borderline partner, one needs to silence their voice in their mind, reclaim their authentic voice, and help the borderline partner discover their authentic self. The process involves owning up to one’s contributions to the relationship, refusing to collaborate in the borderline’s shared fantasy, and helping the borderline partner to love themselves, become agentic, and choose life.