NO WIN: Narcissist Sees Himself in You (Projective Resonance)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the intense bond and attachment that forms between individuals and narcissists. He explains that this bond is driven by five mechanisms: a common background of adverse childhood experiences, the “Hall of Mirrors” effect where the narcissist idealizes the individual, trauma bonding, the shared fantasy, and projective resonance. Projective resonance is when the narcissist sees himself in the individual, leading to either a reminder of his true self or a challenge to his false self. This bond is pathological and leads to a coercive control dynamic, where the individual becomes dependent on the narcissist, while the narcissist becomes resentful and seeks to separate.
“I Miss ME!”: Self-estrangement in Narcissistically Abusive Relationships
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of self-estrangement and self-alienation in the context of narcissistic abuse. He explains how the narcissist manipulates the victim’s mind, leading to a feeling of being unrecognizable to oneself. The victim’s internal voice becomes dominated by the narcissist’s introject, leading to a sense of emptiness and dissociation from one’s true self. This process involves a complex interplay of defense mechanisms, emotional dysregulation, and the impact of early attachment trauma. The victim’s symptoms are seen as a compromise formation and a resistance to change, requiring a focus on emotional closeness, experiencing, and anxiety regulation in treatment.
RED FLAGS Financial Abuse by Narcissists and Psychopaths
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various types of financial frauds and scams, including charity scams, banking scams, debt relief scams, Nigerian scams, grandparent scams, and more. He emphasizes the importance of being cautious with online communication and not giving out personal information. Vaknin also warns about the dangers of cryptocurrency scams and the potential for artificial intelligence to be used in future scams. He advises victims of scams that the chances of recovering their money are low and suggests reporting the fraud to law enforcement agencies.