Psychopath? 5 Red Flags and 3 Rs Test: Remorse, Remediation, and Restoration
Psychopaths are too good to be true and exhibit information asymmetry. They have alloplastic defenses and an external locus of control. Psychopathy can be a defense against anxiety, and narcissism can develop late in life. To determine if someone’s narcissism and psychopathy are an integral feature of their personality, apply the test of three R’s: remorse, remediation, and restoration. True narcissists and psychopaths fail the three R’s test at every turn.
Fake, Narcissistic – or True Friend?
A true friend respects and trusts you only when you have earned it, while a fake, narcissistic friend respects and trusts you regardless of your behavior. A true friend shows you the truth, while a fake friend only shows you your own reflection. A true friend loves you for who you are, while a fake friend loves themselves in the friendship. With a true friend, love is its own reward, while with a fake friend, there must be some other benefit.
Cold Empathy Garners Narcissistic Supply (Edwin Rutsch and Sam Vaknin)
Sam Vaknin and a guest discuss the relationship between empathy and narcissism, with Sam suggesting that narcissists have “cold empathy” due to childhood trauma and abuse. They also discuss how society is becoming more narcissistic as a reaction to being overwhelmed with pain and an overload of pain in the media. Sam shares his personal experience of growing up in an abusive household and developing a delusional private world as a defense mechanism. He also discusses how empathic reflection and mirroring can provoke new ideas and enhance empathy, even in individuals who lack warm empathy.
Narcissist’s Fantasy Sex Life
Narcissists and psychopaths often have a fantasy-based sex life that reflects their psychodynamic inner landscape, including fear of intimacy, misogyny, control-freak tendencies, auto-eroticism, latent sadism and masochism, problems of gender identity, and various sexual deviances or failures. Their fantasies often involve the aggressive or violent objectification of a faceless, nameless, and sometimes even sexless person, and they are always in unmitigated control of their environment and the people in it. The narcissist’s self-exposure to their intimate partner often elicits reactions of horror, repulsion, and estrangement.
Topsy-turvy: Paul Bloom Against, Vaknin for Empathy (Vaknin and Rutsch)
Summary: Edwin Rutch interviews Sam Vaknin about the concept of empathy and its application in various contexts. They discuss the limitations of individual empathy, the distinction between individual and institutional empathy, and the potential misuse of empathy in foreign policy and aid initiatives. They also explore the relationship between empathy and justice systems, and the need for a more empathic approach in resolving conflicts and restoring connections. The conversation delves into the complexities of measuring and quantifying empathy, and the potential for empathy to be misdirected or misused in various settings.
Narcissist Hates His Fans, Followers, and Admirers
Narcissists depend on their followers for narcissistic supply but resent their addictive dependence and hold their followers in contempt. They see themselves as beyond human comprehension and refuse to grant anyone special privileges. The narcissist demands complete obedience from their followers and punishes those who stray. Cult leaders are often narcissists who failed to become famous and impress the world with their uniqueness, and they resent their followers for witnessing their fraudulence and failure.
Furious Debate: Edwin Rutsch and Sam Vaknin on Empathy
Sam Vaknin, a diagnosed psychopathic narcissist and expert on narcissism, discusses empathy with Edwin Rutch from the Centre for Building a Culture of Empathy. Vaknin explains the two components of empathy, cold empathy and emotional arousal, and argues that while emotional arousal may be innate, the intersubjective component is learned. He also discusses the challenges of understanding and sharing emotions with others, and the differences between narcissism and psychopathy. Vaknin believes that individuals with narcissism and psychopathy are unlikely to develop empathy and that society’s values may be promoting these traits.
Children of Narcissist: Bad Mother’s Voice
There is no such thing as a purely good mother, and the bad mother is always present. The good mother is predictable, reliable, and emotionally safe, while the bad mother is considered paranoid and controlling. The good mother provides unconditional love, while the bad mother provides transactional love. The good son or daughter justifies the bad mother’s behavior, while every good quality of the good mother is rendered bad by the voice of the bad mother in the minds of children of narcissists.
Narcissist as the Center of the World: Referential Delusions and Ideas of Reference
The narcissist is the center of the world and derives their sense of being and self-worth from the outside. They must delude themselves into believing that they are persistently the focus and object of the attentions, intentions, plans, feelings, and stratagems of everyone around them. This constant obsession with one’s locus leads to referential ideation, ideas of reference. The narcissist becomes paranoid and would rather be the object of often imaginary and always self-inflicted derision, scorn, and vile than to be ignored.
Inanimate Objects as Sources of Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists can find inanimate objects as sources of narcissistic supply, as long as they have the potential to attract attention and admiration. Narcissists often use objects as status symbols, which can elicit admiration, envy, and aspiration from others. However, narcissists can also become attached to objects and memorabilia, which can provide emotional support and remind them of their past glories and potential future grandeur. Narcissists can objectify people and anthropomorphize objects to derive maximum narcissistic supply from both, leading to a shared psychosis and cult-like behavior among those closest to them.