Codependent No More: Situational Codependence
Situational co-dependence can develop in individuals who experience a life crisis, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one, resulting in a fear of abandonment and loneliness. Patients rush into new relationships to avoid being alone, but this can lead to dysfunctional behaviors that are intended to fend off abandonment. The conflict between conscious emotions and unconscious anxiety can lead to the development of situational co-dependence as a coping strategy. Patients can overcome this by choosing the wrong partner, proving to themselves that they are not co-dependent, and re-establishing their autonomy and self-control.
Civilization Ntopia: To Hell in a Narcissistic Handbasket
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the rise of pathological narcissism in modern society, which he believes is a ubiquitous phenomenon. He argues that healthy narcissism is rendered pathological by abuse and trauma, which are universal human behaviours. Vaknin also suggests that the way pathological narcissism manifests is dependent on the particulars of societies and cultures, and that human collectives can acquire a life and character of their own, which can lead to a common pathology.
Arrested Empathy: Instinctual, Emotional Cognitive, and Cold Empathy
Sam Vaknin discusses the model of empathy, suggesting it is three-partite and develops in children in three phases. He explains that narcissists and psychopaths lack empathy and may possess “cold empathy,” which is devoid of compassion and emotional connection. Vaknin also explores the decline of empathy in society and its impact on social behavior and mental health. He argues that empathy is more important socially than psychologically and that its absence predisposes people to exploit and abuse others.
Nationalism vs. Patriotism: Narcissism vs. Self-love
Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of patriotism, nationalism, and narcissism. He explains how nationalism is exclusionary and oppositional, while patriotism is inclusive and concerned with the here and now. Vaknin also delves into the narcissist’s defense mechanisms, emphasizing the narcissist’s fear of being similar to others and the resulting aggression and hostility. He concludes by highlighting the connection between genetic relatedness and conflict propensities among populations.
Narcissistic Abuse: From Victim to Survivor in 6 Steps
To move on from being a victim of narcissistic abuse, one must abandon the narcissist and move on. Moving on is a process that involves acknowledging and accepting painful reality, learning from the experience, and deciding to act. It is important to grieve and mourn the loss of trust and love, but perpetual grieving is counterproductive. Forgiveness is important, but it should not be a universal behavior. Human relationships are dynamic and require constant assessment. It is not advisable to remain friends with narcissists, as they are only nice and friendly when they want something. Inverted narcissists who remain in relationships with narcissists are victims who deny their own torment and fail to make the transition to survivors.
Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey! (Part 2)
Narcissists and psychopaths may possess empathy, but they use it as a weapon to extract narcissistic supply or in the pursuit of antisocial and sadistic goals. They empathize with their possessions, objects, pets, and other sources of narcissistic supply or material benefits. However, this is not real empathy, but a mere projection of their own insecurities and fears onto others. People tend to feel revolted, repelled, and scared when they come across narcissists or psychopaths, as they strike their interlocutors as being some kind of alien lifeforms or artificial intelligence.
Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey!
Narcissists have the ability to see through other people’s emotional shields and know when they are deviating from the truth. They can intuitively grasp other people’s self-interested goals and accurately predict their strategies and tactics. Narcissists can’t stand self-important, self-inflated, pompous, vigorous, self-righteous, sanctimonious, and hypocritical people because they recognize themselves in them. They expose people’s vulnerabilities and force them to confront their true selves, their dead-end careers, their mundane lives, the death of their hopes and dreams and wishes, their shattered illusions.
Re-integrating the Narcissistic Personality
The lack of emotional self-acceptance is a problem that cannot be solved by cognitive substitutes. The root of the problem is the inner dialogue between disparaging voices and countervailing truths to the contrary. The disordered dialogue, the dysfunctional, the non-performing dialogue, involves widely disparate, different interlocutors. The first step is to clearly identify the various segments that together, however incongruently, constitute the personality.
DSM V Alternative Model for Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) is the bible of the psychiatric and psychological profession. The DSM-5 provides diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but these criteria are deeply flawed and do not reflect the knowledge accumulated over the last 14 years. The DSM-5 attempts to remedy these shortcomings by proposing an alternative model of narcissism, which is more advanced than the DSM-4 but still falls short in certain areas. Overall, the DSM-5 is light years more advanced than the DSM-4 in subsuming and synthesizing current knowledge about narcissists, but there is still a long way to go.
Narcissist: I want it ALL and NOW! (Delayed Gratification and Entitlement)
Narcissists cannot delay gratification and are creatures of the here and now. They cannot form stable relationships, maintain a job or career path, or accumulate material wealth. The narcissist’s life is characterized by jerky, episodic careers, relationships, marriages, and domiciles. The narcissist is possessed of a low self-esteem and is unable to love himself or others. The narcissist’s interpersonal relationships are deformed and sick, and he recreates conflicts with his primary objects in his marriage.