Borderline Woman as Dissociative Secondary Psychopath
Borderline Personality Disorder and Psychopathy may not be as different as previously thought. Recent studies suggest that Borderline and Histrionic Personality Disorders may be manifestations of secondary type psychopathy in women. Survivors of Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) also exhibit psychopathic and narcissistic behaviors. Borderline Personality Disorder can be described as a subspecies of Dissociative Identity Disorder, with mood lability and emotional dysregulation being outward manifestations of changes in self-states.
Fetishes, Gender Roles, Monogamy (ENGLISH responses)
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the misconceptions surrounding gender, sex, and sexual orientation. He argues that gender roles are not determined by sexual equipment and that sexual attraction is socially determined rather than biologically determined. Vaknin also explains that fetishism is the natural state of sexuality and that the idealized sexuality of being attracted to the totality of a person is rare. He suggests that the real abnormality is people who do not have fetishes and that pedophiles have a holistic, total view of sexuality.
Narcissist’s BDSM Supply Partner (ENGLISH responses)
Narcissists choose partners who are reliable and predictable sources of supply, and these partners are typically defeminized and desexualized. Women who practice BDSM are not necessarily borderline, but those who are borderline may be more open to unusual sexual practices due to their self-destructiveness and emotional dysregulation. Narcissists engage in self-harm practices, such as BDSM, when they don’t have access to their internal environment and feel that they don’t exist. Shame is a crucial part of narcissism, and any dependence on a third party can provoke shame and self-directed rage. These practices have beneficial psychodynamic effects but have zero long-term effects on underlying narcissism.
Narcissist’s Discipline: Love, Pain, Intimacy (ENGLISH responses)
Sam Vaknin discusses the connection between spanking and narcissistic behavior. He explains that for narcissists, spanking provides clarity, certainty, intimacy, and a sense of control, reducing anxiety and validating their worldview. He also touches on how narcissists use relationships as experiments to confirm their negative beliefs and how they may seek extreme forms of discipline when experiencing low supply.
BDSM and Role Play are not Narcissism (ENGLISH responses)
Sam Vaknin discusses BDSM and its relation to narcissism. He explains that proper BDSM involves equal power and negotiation, and practitioners are balanced and in control. However, he also describes how narcissists may borrow elements from BDSM to create their own universe, using it to punish and humiliate women as a form of ritualistic human sacrifice. He emphasizes that narcissism is not just a mental health disorder, but a religion, and that understanding narcissists requires thinking in religious terms.
Bondage Hijacked by Narcissists and Psychopaths (in the West) (ENGLISH responses)
Shibari, a form of Japanese bondage, is not about dominance but rather emphasizes aesthetic values and the human body as a sculpture. In contrast, Western bondage is about power relationships and dominance. Narcissists often misinterpret Japanese practices as forms of extreme dominance and engage in violent and non-consensual forms of bondage, which is dangerous. Shibari is an art form, while Western bondage is a game.
Narcissist’s Painful Mother Redux (ENGLISH responses)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses non-corporeal discipline, which involves infantilizing oneself to experience intimacy, love, and pain. This can be achieved through clear abuse, such as spanking, or by regressing to a period of childhood abuse, particularly from the mother figure. However, this can be dangerous as it triggers the narcissist to regress to childhood and experience all the emotions associated with that period, including shame and depression. Narcissists who practice submission or discipline experience shame and humiliation, leading to isolation, but then become super social to seek narcissistic supply. Vaknin also explains that no narcissist has a beautiful childhood, and that mothers who spoil their children or expect great things from them are abusing them. Good mothers should push their children away to become
Manipulate the Narcissist and Live to Tell About It? (Lecture in Budapest)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the manipulation of narcissists, the prevalence of narcissistic traits in society, and the impact of aggression on children. He emphasizes that the only effective way to deal with a narcissist is to go no contact, as staying in contact can lead to adopting narcissistic behaviors oneself. He notes that narcissism is on a spectrum, with healthy narcissism at one end and narcissistic personality disorder at the other. Vaknin also observes that narcissism and psychopathy are becoming more socially accepted and even encouraged in certain contexts. He mentions that narcissists can recognize each other but not psychopaths, and that psychopaths prey on narcissists. Lastly, he discusses the impact of aggression on children, stating that witnessing or experiencing physical or sexual aggression can lead to destructive or self-destructive behavior, while verbal aggression tends to perpetuate verbal abuse within the family structure.
Narcissism? Not What You Think! (An El-Nadi-Vaknin Convo)
Narcissism is not a mental illness but a personality style, and narcissists can be self-aware and proud of their disorder. They can be manipulated if they are convinced that certain behaviors are counterproductive and harmful to themselves. Women who fall for narcissists often do so because of their own psychological reasons, and unless they address these issues, they are likely to fall into the same trap repeatedly.
Narcissist-Victim Sexual Practices (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)
Sam Vaknin discusses the cycle of narcissistic abuse and how victims often find themselves repeatedly attracted to narcissistic partners. He suggests that true transformation and healing can only occur when the victim hits rock bottom and has no source of energy left. Vaknin also explains the difference between consensual BDSM and sadism in narcissistic relationships, which is used as a tool for objectification and control. He notes that narcissists often have severe problems with sexual identity and sex differentiation due to disrupted development in childhood.