What Happens When Narcissists Meet Each Other or a Psychopath?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the uncanny valley, which is the discomfort people feel when encountering a narcissist. He explains how different types of narcissists interact with each other and with psychopaths, highlighting the immediate and distinct reactions that occur. Vaknin suggests that these interactions can serve as a litmus test for diagnosing personality disorders.
Secrets of Strong, Lasting Relationships
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the characteristics of strong and resilient relationships. He emphasizes the importance of shared vision, continued sexuality, and prioritizing the relationship above all else. He also explores the different types of successful marriages and the tasks that couples must perform to establish a strong and happy relationship. Vaknin draws on the work of Judith Wallerstein and highlights the significance of maintaining love, intimacy, and communication in relationships.
Unlimited Freedoms of Psychopathic Narcissist: Reactance Theory
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of reactance theory and its relevance to narcissists and psychopaths. He explains that these individuals are obsessed with unlimited freedom due to their defiance and sense of entitlement. Reactance theory suggests that when people feel their freedoms are threatened or eliminated, they experience distress and resistance, leading to a strong desire to restore their freedom. In the case of narcissists and psychopaths, this can lead to immediate and unstoppable actions to preserve their freedom. The lecture also delves into the psychological implications of reactance and the ways in which it influences behavior and decision-making.
Unforgiving Narcissist Hoovers to Revenge, Holds Grudges
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of hoovering and how it can be driven by a narcissist’s grudge against the victim. He explains the differences between rail hoovering and vengeful hoovering, and provides warning signs to identify the latter. The lecture delves into the reasons why narcissists find it nearly impossible to forgive, forget, and move on, and how holding grudges serves to reconstitute their grandiosity. Additionally, the lecture explores the role of grudges as a relationship management tool and the psychodynamic reasons behind a narcissist’s tendency to maintain grudges.
Skin-deep Narcissist, Skinless Borderline
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the use of metaphors to understand narcissism and psychopathy, comparing them to natural phenomena. He introduces the metaphor of the skin, likening the narcissist’s false self to the skin’s protective functions and characteristics. He emphasizes the false self’s role in shielding the narcissist from reality and facilitating the conversion of reality into fantasy. Additionally, he explores the false self’s hypervigilance and its impact on the narcissist’s perception of the world.
Narcissism is NOT High Self-esteem, Self-worth, Self-confidence (Role of Attribution Error)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between self-confidence, high self-esteem, and narcissism in this lecture. He explains that healthy self-esteem involves self-acceptance and self-love, while narcissism is compensatory and volatile. He delves into the concept of attribution errors and how they relate to narcissism, as well as the cultural and societal influences on self-esteem. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of stability and self-regulation in healthy self-worth, self-esteem, and self-confidence, contrasting them with the external and unstable nature of narcissism.
Narcissist at Work? 3 Best Ways to Handle Him/Her! (EXCERPT with Conor Ryan, Eyes Wide Open Podcast)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses dealing with narcissists in a corporate environment, advising to either disconnect or use the “gray rock” method to render oneself uninteresting to the narcissist. He warns of the dangers of challenging or humiliating a narcissist, as they can be vindictive and seek to ruin one’s life. Vaknin also explores the relationship between technology, social media, and the rise of narcissism, suggesting that technology rewards and empowers narcissistic behavior, creating a self-generating feedback loop.
Apocalypting Narcissist, Borderline: Drama, Crisis, Catastrophizing
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of catastrophizing and apocalyptic behavior in narcissists and individuals with borderline personality disorder. He explains that both engage in exaggerating outcomes and introducing crises into their lives, despite having different cognitive and emotional styles. He delves into the psychological roles of apocalyptic behavior, such as control and manipulation, organizing and explanatory principles, and seeking thrill and risk. Vaknin also explores how individuals with narcissistic and borderline traits use drama and crisis as a means of creative destruction to reinvent their lives. Additionally, he touches on the societal implications of apocalyptic behavior, particularly in the context of mass movements and the revolt of the masses.
Borderline’s Good Object, Bad Behaviors
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of a “good object” as a constellation of voices that inform an individual of their worth and value. He explains how individuals with borderline personality disorder possess a compensatory good object, which serves to reconcile their self-perception with their behaviors. Vaknin also delves into the role of compensation in analytical psychology, emphasizing its positive function in shaping the self. Additionally, he explores the use of compensatory structures in the formation and functioning of the self, as described by Heinz Kohut. Ultimately, Vaknin highlights how both borderline individuals and narcissists utilize compensation to maintain their sense of self.
What Happiness is NOT and IS (with Andrei Tanase, Filmmaker)
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the etymology of the word “happiness” and its historical meanings. He explains that happiness was originally associated with luck, prosperity, and wealth. He outlines the three components of happiness, which include managing one’s life well, contributing to something outside oneself, and conducting oneself with dignity and integrity. Vaknin emphasizes that happiness is a state of being, not gratification, and that it is internal, not external. He also delves into the concept of authenticity and the importance of being true to oneself. Additionally, he explores the idea of studying unhappiness as a means of understanding happiness, and the role of language in shaping our understanding of happiness.