Evil Rubs Off: Cleanse Yourself!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of evil and how it is multifaceted. Evil can be found in power plays, self-contempt, self-loathing, self-hatred, and emotional dysregulation. Negative emotions such as fear, envy, hatred, and greed pave the road to evil. Evil is contagious and can infect and possess you. To avoid evil, you must cleanse yourself and avoid it at all costs.
Go to Your Desert, Listen to Your Inner Silence
Professor Sam Vaknin advises people to go to their mental desert, listen to their inner silence, and create a mental cave or mountain top to escape the distractions of modern civilization. He suggests that in the desert, people can face themselves and listen to the voice of God, which speaks through silence. By being passive and emptying themselves, people can become a vessel for the message of the silence to flow through them and receive the gift of healing.
Workaholism: Addiction or Lifestyle? (33rd International conference on Mental and Behavioral Health)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses workaholism, questioning whether it is an addiction or a lifestyle. He delves into the negative consequences of workaholism, its association with mental health disorders, and its potential link to compensating for deficiencies. Vaknin emphasizes the need to consider societal and environmental factors in addressing mental health issues, rather than focusing solely on individual treatment.
Trust Your Gut: Victimized, not Victim (Interview with Caroline Strawson)
Caroline Strawson, a trauma-informed therapist and coach, interviewed Professor Sam Vaknin, an expert on narcissism. They discussed the complexities of narcissistic abuse, the importance of understanding the abuser’s background without excusing their behavior, and the need for victims to focus on self-love, setting boundaries, and trusting their instincts. Vaknin emphasized the dangers of victimhood as an identity and the societal trend towards tribalism and aggression. He advised against retaliating against abusers, as it perpetuates the cycle of abuse.
Wounded Inner Child Undermines Adult
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the inner child, its origins, and its impact on adult behavior. He delves into the discrepancy between chronological age and emotional or mental age, and the effects of dysfunctional parenting on the development of the inner child. Vaknin also explores the role of inner child therapy and the need for re-parenting the wounded inner child to facilitate growth and integration.
Tinder Myths Debunked: Online Dating Revisited
Sam Vaknin discusses the myths and realities of Tinder and dating apps. He challenges the beliefs propagated by the Manosphere and provides statistics and studies to support his points. Vaknin emphasizes that dating apps are primarily used for entertainment and boosting self-esteem, and that they often lead to long-term relationships rather than casual sex. He also highlights differences in behavior and preferences between men and women on these platforms.
Meaningful Casual Sex, One Night Stands: Their Emotions and Psychology
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychology of casual sex and one-night stands, arguing that they are not meaningless or emotionless experiences. He explains that casual sex involves a spectrum of activities and is a continuum, with one-night stands being a part of it. Vaknin highlights that casual sex and one-night stands involve trust, safety, suspension of defenses, and exposure of vulnerabilities, which are all elements of intimacy. Despite people’s claims that these encounters are emotionless and meaningless, Vaknin argues that the emotional reactions and physiological changes that occur during and after casual sex prove otherwise.
Narcissist’s Checklists: Mortification, Shared Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of shared fantasy in narcissistic relationships and provides checklists to identify behaviors and symptoms of narcissists. He explains that narcissists seek relationships to create an illusion of normalcy and control their partners. However, they often become sexless and push their partners to cheat, which allows them to maintain their victim stance and moral superiority. Narcissists may remain in abusive relationships due to past failures and the need for a shared fantasy to avoid decompensation and depression.
Push Narcissist’s 4 Secret Buttons: Gamma Man or Agent of Chaos, Madness?
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the four secret buttons of the narcissist, which are the operating system of the narcissist’s internal landscape. He explains how to push these buttons to manipulate or detach from a narcissist. Additionally, he delves into the debate about IQ tests and their limitations, and discusses the concept of gamma males in the social sexual hierarchy. He also explores the discomfort and chaos that narcissists bring into relationships.
Sex, Love with “The Other”: Singlehood, Heterophily, and Exogamy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of disrupted object relations on the sex drive and the decline in sex as a language of communication. He also talks about the shift in gender roles and the rise of narcissism and psychopathy among women who have been subjected to abuse and complex trauma. Vaknin notes that men have become more effeminate, while women prefer better males who are submissive, kind, empathic, and nice. He predicts that technology will eventually provide people with artificial synthetic sex partners, leading to the end of human relatedness and communication.