Narcissists, Empaths, Viking Fantasies (Q&As with Eve Tawfik)
British journalist Eve Torfic interviews Dr. Sam Vaknin about narcissism. Vaknin explains that a relationship with a narcissist can work if one suspends their autonomy and serves the narcissist’s needs, which he summarizes as the four S’s: sex, supply, safety, and services. He also discusses the allure of narcissists, the concept of shared fantasy, and the potential for self-awareness in narcissists. They touch on topics like victimhood, the future of society with the rise of the metaverse, and the decline of traditional values and community. Vaknin expresses concern about the sustainability of life as society becomes more fragmented and atomized.
Fight Narcissism – Or Channel It? (IAI.TV)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the rise of narcissism and suggests that it is comparable to climate change and the shift in gender roles. He proposes that we harness the energy of narcissism and channel it in socially acceptable ways, sublimated. He also suggests that we put in place checks, balances, and institutions to prevent the more destructive, insidious, and pernicious outcomes and aspects of narcissism. Finally, he warns that narcissism is a form of religion and that it is aggressive, intolerant, and dysempathic, and can result in self-defeat and self-destruction.
Ukraine: From Invasion to PTSD (Newsweek, Part 1)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the psychological impact of the war in Ukraine, highlighting the fact that trauma is a systemic event that affects everything from an individual’s ability to think and trust others to their ability to sleep. He notes that PTSD and complex trauma are both likely to be prevalent in Ukraine, with at least 3 million people expected to have PTSD and 25% of the population displaying post-traumatic effects. Vaknin suggests that a community approach to healing trauma is necessary, leveraging the resilience of those who were not affected by trauma to support those who were. He also proposes the creation of a Peace Corps of mental health experts from around the world to help Ukraine recover.
Is Fantasy Good for You? Fantasy vs. Lies vs. Delusion vs. Confabulation
Fantasy is a psychological defense mechanism that helps people cope with an unbearable reality. There are two types of fantasy: person-centered and process-centered. Person-centered fantasies revolve around another person and often dissolve into reality, leading to chaos. Process-centered fantasies are based on a narrative or impersonal process and can be more benign and long-lasting. Transitioning from person-centered to process-centered fantasies can be a therapeutic goal for individuals struggling with mental health issues.
Grieving Your Dead Narcissist
In this transcript, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the phenomenon of grieving the death of a narcissist. He explains that prolonged grief syndrome is typical of ex-partners who were or are narcissists and that closure becomes impossible when the narcissist dies. The grieving process is complicated by the narcissistic abuse, which is an invasion, a breach of boundaries, and a torment intended to modify behavior to the point of vanishing. The narcissist’s absence in relationships and internal emptiness are on full display when he dies, and the introject of the narcissist is extremely active, taking over the mind of the grieving person.
Therapy Session with Vince(nt) van Gogh (Estrangement Technique)
Professor Sam Vaknin uses a technique called estrangement in his therapy sessions, where he addresses his patient with the name of someone significant in their life to elicit an outsider’s point of view and provoke the patient. In this session, he speaks with Vincent Van Gogh and suggests that Van Gogh has borderline personality disorder. Vaknin encourages Van Gogh to seek help, take a break from his current life, and gain perspective on his relationships and emotional investment in his painting.
Alien World of Narcissism (TalkTV with Trisha Goddard)
Professor Sam Vaknin, a leading authority on narcissism, explains that healthy narcissism is a normal part of early childhood development, but when it persists into adulthood, it becomes pathological. Narcissists are unable to regulate their self-esteem and rely on others for attention and validation, often creating a false self that is grandiose and perfect. In relationships, narcissists commoditize their partners and see them as extensions of themselves, seeking sex, services, supply, and safety. Vaknin advises those in relationships with narcissists to cut their losses and leave, as narcissism can be contagious and damaging.
Borderline’s Partner: Enters Healthy, Exits Mentally Ill
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of individuals with borderline personality disorder on their partners, suggesting that they can induce narcissistic behaviors in them. He also addresses misconceptions about Freud’s theories and delves into the psychological dynamics at play in relationships with individuals with borderline personality disorder. The borderline’s need for object constancy and the partner’s response to it are explored, leading to the development of narcissistic and borderline behaviors in the partner. The complex and challenging dynamics of these relationships are thoroughly analyzed.
Why Self-less Narcissist Can Never Love YOU (His Enemy)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of object constancy and introject constancy, drawing from Freud’s theories and his own work on narcissism. He explains how introject constancy differs from object constancy and how it relates to narcissistic personality disorder. Vaknin also introduces the idea of introject libido and its role in the narcissist’s internal world. He emphasizes the importance of emotional investment in internal objects and the impact on the narcissist’s relationships.
Asexuality, Grey Sexuality, and Narcissism
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), asexuality, and graysexuality. He clarifies that asexuality is a legitimate and healthy sexual orientation, but HSDD is a disorder that requires treatment if it causes distress. Vaknin also explains that all narcissists go through phases of asexuality during the pathology of their disorder, but not all asexuals are narcissists. He warns that asexuality has become a form of identity politics and may be exploited by narcissistic and psychopathic individuals.