Women Who Hate Women, Men Who Love Them
In this lecture, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the rise of misogyny among women and the impact of the #MeToo movement. He explains that women are becoming more masculine, leading to a scarcity of eligible male partners and increased competition among women. Vaknin also explores the different types of masculinity in men and their reactions to changing gender roles. He emphasizes the need for new models and institutions to adapt to the evolving dynamics between men and women, warning that the lack of positive identity and vision for the future could lead to the downfall of the human species.
Narcissist’s Retroactive Jealousy Of Your Past Relationships
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of romantic jealousy, particularly focusing on retroactive jealousy in narcissism. Retroactive jealousy is a cognitive process that involves fear of loss and is irrational. In narcissism, retroactive jealousy is linked to the inability to idealize and infantilize the partner, leading to anxiety and control issues. The narcissist’s fear of losing the idealized version of the partner and the inability to control the partner’s past contribute to retroactive jealousy. This jealousy is characterized by obsessive information gathering, devaluing the partner’s past, and a sense of insecurity and inferiority. Retroactive jealousy in narcissism is a built-in feature and is a sign of the progression towards devaluation and separation in the shared fantasy.
Dostoyevsky’s Beef With Psychology Path Towards Its Renaissance ( Congress Presentation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses Fyodor Dostoyevsky’s quarrel with psychology and how it contrasts with modern psychology. Dostoyevsky’s work delves into the human soul and the individual’s reaction to society, contrasting with the statistical and pseudo-scientific approach of modern psychology. Dostoyevsky’s characters struggle with morality, suffering, and the conflict between the pursuit of truth and the rejection of life. His use of symbolism and exploration of the self reflect his own inner conflicts and his commitment to truth. His characters’ inner fixity and rejection of life lead to a spiritual death, and his work serves as a critique of narcissism and the pursuit of perfection.
A-ha Moment, Gut Instinct, Insight, Knowledge, Intuition: Epistemology in Psychology
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses insight, intuition, gut instincts, aha moments, epiphanies, and their emotional and cognitive aspects. He explains that aha moments are emotional reactions to sudden insight and are usually preceded by a period of pondering and analyzing. Aha moments are crucial in psychotherapy as they lead to self-awareness and the ability to connect seemingly unrelated events. He also delves into the differences between motivation and knowledge, and the role of intuition and insight in psychotherapy. Additionally, he explores the need for emotions in inducing transformation and change, and the compensatory mechanisms used by individuals who lack insight. Furthermore, he touches on the epistemic value of theories and the role of epistemology in psychology.
Narcissist’s Losses Are His Life
Loss is a crucial aspect of the narcissist’s life, serving as an organizing principle and a means of transformation. The narcissist’s self-destructive behavior and manipulation of external objects are driven by the need to induce change in their internal environment. Losses are both intentional and evoked by the narcissist, who uses them to engender victimhood and manipulate others. The narcissist’s fear of losses leads them to preemptively bring them on, ultimately sacrificing reality for the appearance of life.
When Narcissist Runs Out of Supply (Self-supply Compilation)
Narcissists exhibit a sense of sacrificial entitlement, believing that their presence in someone’s life is a privilege and a sacrifice on their part. This self-perception combines grandiosity with victimhood, as they see themselves as superior beings who are condescending to interact with others. This form of entitlement is a method of self-supply, reinforcing their grandiose self-image while also framing themselves as victims who are giving up their potential for the sake of others. Narcissists may use this mindset to justify expecting gratitude, obedience, and submission from those around them.
UP TO YOU How People Treat You: Change Your Messaging, Signaling
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the behavior of narcissists and psychopaths, emphasizing their inability to internalize moral reasoning and their lack of capacity for love. He explains that people’s treatment of us is influenced by the information we transmit about ourselves and encourages us to cultivate dignity and self-respect. Vaknin advises against seeking validation by altering ourselves and instead advocates for authenticity and self-assertion as a means to change how others treat us. He concludes by emphasizing that we have the power to transform our lives by changing the way we present ourselves to the world.
BEWARE! Narcissists, Psychopaths are Immoral, Amoral (Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the moral development stages proposed by Lawrence Kohlberg, which include pre-conventional, conventional, and post-conventional levels. He also delves into the work of other scholars such as William Damon, who proposed a theory based on Kohlberg’s stages. Vaknin emphasizes that narcissists and psychopaths are incapable of moral development due to their lack of empathy, emotional deficits, and impaired reality testing. He also critiques Kohlberg’s theory, highlighting the absence of emotions in moral reasoning and the rigid cognitive approach. Vaknin suggests that the inability of narcissists and psychopaths to progress through moral development stages has significant implications for society. He also discusses the work of other scholars who have critiqued and expanded upon Kohlberg’s theory.
Why We LOVE WAR: Pornography of Violence (with Scott Jacobsen)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of war, its impact on human psychology, and its role in society. He explores the effects of war at a distance and up close, the psychology of bystanders versus combatants, and the mindset of politicians and the general public before, during, and after war. Vaknin also delves into the factors that increase or decrease the odds of war, as well as the positives and negatives of war in the advancement of human civilization. He concludes that war is a human phenomenon that should be accepted and adapted to, rather than futilely attempting to eliminate it.
Narcissism: Unclean Energy (with Michael Shellenberger, November 2022)
Sam Vaknin discusses the evolution of narcissism from a healthy childhood phase to pathological narcissism in adulthood, which becomes a clinical entity when it remains infantile and extreme. He explains that narcissism has become an organizing principle in society, influencing various social institutions and movements. Vaknin suggests that narcissism and psychopathy are on a spectrum, with malignant narcissism and psychopathy often overlapping. He argues that modern civilization’s incentive structure rewards narcissistic and psychopathic traits, leading to their prevalence in certain professions and social movements. Vaknin proposes that instead of fighting narcissism, society should rechannel it towards socially beneficial goals by providing narcissistic supply as a reward for positive actions. He believes that this approach could lead to a redefinition of civilization, as narcissism is an inescapable part of current social fabric and technology.