Ironic Rebound in Narcissism, Borderline, Psychopathy
Ironic process theory, introduced by psychologist Daniel Wegner, suggests that the more we try to suppress certain thoughts, the more likely they are to surface. This theory is relevant to narcissism, borderline personality disorder, and psychopathy, as these individuals attempt to suppress thoughts that threaten their inner balance. In abusive relationships, the abuser and the victim both engage in ironic processes, amplifying and magnifying each other’s troubling thoughts. This cycle of abuse can lead to severe long-term mental damage.
Covert Borderline’s Relationships (with Melissa Rondeau, LMHC, MBA)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his proposed diagnosis of covert borderline, which he suggests is a gap between classic narcissism and classic borderline personality disorder. He explains that the covert borderline is emotionally dysregulated and overwhelmed by emotions, unlike the classic narcissist who does not have access to positive emotions. The covert borderline is also seductive, glibly seductive, and likely to be flirtatious, socially charming, and charismatic. In addition, he discusses the characteristics of covert borderlines, their internal focus of control, and their need for narcissistic supply. Finally, he talks about the differences between psychopaths and narcissists, stating that psychopaths are more human than narcissists.
Narcissist Pays Heavy Price For Betrayal Fantasy
The Narcissist Betrayal Fantasy is a strategy used by narcissists to get rid of their intimate partners by pushing them to cheat or betray them. This allows the narcissist to maintain the high moral ground and dissolve the shared fantasy, which is highly addictive and difficult to break. The narcissist experiences pain in the form of narcissistic injury or mortification due to the misinterpretation of their actions by others, but this short-term cost is outweighed by the long-term benefits of a victimhood narrative. This strategy is also applied in other relationships, such as friendships and work collaborations, by engineering situations that set people up for failure and then pointing to their misbehavior as justification for ending the relationship.
Why Narcissist Never Says “ I Am Sorry”
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s inability to apologize or feel remorse, attributing it to their grandiosity, sense of entitlement, and lack of empathy. He also delves into the sources of the narcissist’s immunity to consequences, including their false self, magical thinking, and manipulative skills. Vaknin argues that narcissists should be held accountable for their actions, as they are aware of right and wrong but simply do not care about others enough to refrain from harmful behavior.
How Narcissist Abuses Your Love, Rejects It ( Borderlines, Codependents, People Pleasers, Too)
Bad object internalization is common to narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, codependency, people pleasers, and parentified children. The bad object is a cluster of introjects, internal representations of significant others, that coalesce and if the messages are negative, it can lead to a child internalizing a bad object whose main message is “you’re not lovable.” These children learn to associate love with rejection, pain, hurt, humiliation, public shaming, shame, guilt, and negative affectivity. Later in life, these adults become slaves to the bad object, and the bad object becomes the Northern Star, the Lord Star, the guiding light.
Best New Year Resolution: Fake Friend Out!
Fake friends are not your friends, they are your enemies. They enable your dark side, your self-destructiveness, your self-harm. They are envious of you and are always parasitic. Fake friends are covert, have no moral compass, and are feral, savage, antisocial, psychopathic, and narcissistic. The best thing you can do for yourself this coming New Year is to rid yourself of their presence.
How Codependent Sees YOU (Intimate Partner)
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how codependents see their intimate partners. Codependents are clingy and needy, and they insist on repeating sentences that border on brainwashing or indoctrination. They leverage learned helplessness into an art form and use emotional blackmail to get what they want. There are five categories of codependency stemming from the respective etiologies, including co-dependency that aims to fend off anxieties related to abandonment, co-dependency geared to cope with the co-dependence fear of losing control, vicarious co-dependency, borderline co-dependency or borderline narcissism, and counter-dependency.
Borderline-Narcissist Dance: How They See Each Other
The speaker discusses the dynamics of relationships between borderlines and narcissists, and the impact of these dynamics on the individuals involved. The speaker also delves into the narcissist’s point of view and perception of the other person in the relationship. The text covers various aspects of the narcissist’s mindset, including idealization, blame-shifting, victimization, and the perception of the other person as a persecutory object. The speaker also touches on the narcissist’s internal struggles and the impact on the relationship.
How Borderline Sees YOU ( Intimate Partner)
Professor Sam Vaknin proposes a new diagnosis called covert borderline, which better suits men as it combines borderline and narcissism. Borderlines have two anxieties: abandonment anxiety and engulfment anxiety, which lead to approach and avoidance behaviors. In the approach phase, the borderline sees their partner as their savior and regulator of emotions, while in the avoidance phase, they become paranoid and view their partner as an enemy. This creates a roller coaster of emotions and pain for both the borderline and their partner.
Our Cluster B Future (with Dr. Martin Burckhardt)
The text is a conversation between two individuals discussing the impact of narcissism and borderline personality disorder on psychology and society. They explore the role of the environment in shaping identity and the transition from stability to growth in human history. They also touch on the impact of technology and the internet on human behavior and mental health. The conversation delves into the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and technology, and the implications for individuals and society.