NILF: Why Narcissists are Irresistible, Sexy (to some)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the irresistible allure of narcissists, particularly in the context of romantic and sexual relationships. He delves into the reasons behind the discrepancy between the repulsive nature of narcissists and the way victims describe them as attractive and seductive. Vaknin explores the psychological dynamics at play, including the promise of unbridled sex, the narcissist’s ability to create a shared fantasy, and the impact of danger and self-confidence. He also differentiates between overt and covert narcissists, and their respective approaches to relationships. Ultimately, he emphasizes the importance of self-reflection for victims of narcissistic abuse to avoid repetition compulsion.
Grandpa Sam’s Thoughts for a New Year
The text discusses various topics including New Year’s greetings, narcissism, relationships, intelligence, impulse control, and societal issues. It emphasizes the importance of changing one’s environment, addressing toxic relationships, and striving for personal growth. The text also delves into the dynamics of narcissistic shared fantasies and the impact of early childhood experiences on personality development. Additionally, it touches on the concepts of faking kindness, the fear of positive emotions, and the pursuit of contentment. The author concludes by encouraging readers to initiate positive changes in their lives and strive for inner and outer peace.
Narcissist’s 8 Life Failures (Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of ego in psychoanalytic theory and its role in interfacing with reality. He explains the eight stages of psychosocial development proposed by Erik Erikson and applies them to narcissism, highlighting how narcissists fail to develop a cohesive identity and struggle with intimacy, creativity, and self-actualization. Ultimately, narcissists approach old age with despair, mourning their unfulfilled potential.
Fascism is Political Malignant Narcissism (Brussels Morning)
Sam Vaknin discusses the accusation that Donald Trump is leading the United States towards fascism. He argues that it is important to address narcissists in politics and prevent them from attaining power. Vaknin delves into the characteristics and tensions within fascist movements, and concludes that Trump exhibits traits of a fascist.
Self-destructive Narcissist = Masochist? (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of anti-narcissism, masochism, and sexual self-trashing, and how they interrelate. Anti-narcissism is not about being altruistic or nice, but rather a form of narcissism that involves externalizing one’s emotional investment, leading to self-generated narcissistic supply. This can manifest in behaviors that appear benevolent but are actually self-serving. Anti-narcissists are often masochistic, engaging in self-trashing behaviors, especially sexual ones, to generate a sense of supply from within. They may appear to give and help others, but their actions are driven by an internal need for self-sufficiency and self-supply, rather than genuine empathy or connection with others.
Why YOU Exist Through Other People’s Gaze? (Compilation)
Homosexuality is a biological sexual orientation that is not determined by upbringing or parental roles. It involves a failure in the process of “othering,” where individuals cannot perceive others as separate external entities. This leads to a reliance on sexual partners to complete one’s sexual identity, which is not fully integrated. Homosexuality is not a pathology but a form of external regulation limited to sexual identity. It is distinct from narcissism and borderline personality disorder, which involve more pervasive external regulation. Homosexual relationships can be healing by providing the experience of an integrated sexual identity.
Why Abuse Survivors are DISBELIEVED: Narcopath’s Double Face (Isolation, Compartmentalization)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the reasons why people disbelieve victims and survivors of abuse. He delves into the psychological defense mechanisms of compartmentalization and isolation, and their role in the behavior of narcissists and psychopaths. He also explores the concept of doublet and its connection to these defense mechanisms.
Shy/Quiet Borderline “Diagnosis”, Reality vs. Phantasy/Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the book “A Little Life” and emphasizes the importance of relying on scientific evidence rather than personal anecdotes. He rejects the proposed diagnosis of “shy or quiet borderline” and explains the differences between narcissistic and borderline fantasies. He also delves into the psychodynamics of narcissistic and borderline personality disorders, highlighting their distinct etiologies and behaviors.
Narcissist’s Revenge: Signs YOU are in DANGER
The text discusses the life of a narcissist, their response to frustration, and their transition to borderline and psychopathic states. It also delves into the narcissist’s use of revenge and aggression, and the different types of revenge, including punitive, narcissistic, and pragmatic restorative. The text emphasizes the narcissist’s perception of frustration as narcissistic injury and their use of aggression to eliminate the source of frustration. It also highlights the dangerous potential for violence in some narcissists.
Gender Firewalls in Unigender Vertigo
The text discusses two recent studies on gender relations and the author’s analysis of them. It also delves into six trends that have led to a growing hostility and conflict between men and women. The trends include the adoption of traditional masculine traits by women, the erosion of gender roles, and the rise of self-objectification and detachment in relationships. The author also highlights the impact of these trends on intimacy, sexuality, and mental health.