Narcissist’s Fantasy Sex Life
Narcissists and psychopaths often have a fantasy-based sex life that reflects their psychodynamic inner landscape, including fear of intimacy, misogyny, control-freak tendencies, auto-eroticism, latent sadism and masochism, problems of gender identity, and various sexual deviances or failures. Their fantasies often involve the aggressive or violent objectification of a faceless, nameless, and sometimes even sexless person, and they are always in unmitigated control of their environment and the people in it. The narcissist’s self-exposure to their intimate partner often elicits reactions of horror, repulsion, and estrangement.
Narcissist Hates His Fans, Followers, and Admirers
Narcissists depend on their followers for narcissistic supply but resent their addictive dependence and hold their followers in contempt. They see themselves as beyond human comprehension and refuse to grant anyone special privileges. The narcissist demands complete obedience from their followers and punishes those who stray. Cult leaders are often narcissists who failed to become famous and impress the world with their uniqueness, and they resent their followers for witnessing their fraudulence and failure.
Children of Narcissist: Bad Mother’s Voice
There is no such thing as a purely good mother, and the bad mother is always present. The good mother is predictable, reliable, and emotionally safe, while the bad mother is considered paranoid and controlling. The good mother provides unconditional love, while the bad mother provides transactional love. The good son or daughter justifies the bad mother’s behavior, while every good quality of the good mother is rendered bad by the voice of the bad mother in the minds of children of narcissists.
Narcissist as the Center of the World: Referential Delusions and Ideas of Reference
The narcissist is the center of the world and derives their sense of being and self-worth from the outside. They must delude themselves into believing that they are persistently the focus and object of the attentions, intentions, plans, feelings, and stratagems of everyone around them. This constant obsession with one’s locus leads to referential ideation, ideas of reference. The narcissist becomes paranoid and would rather be the object of often imaginary and always self-inflicted derision, scorn, and vile than to be ignored.
Rorschach’s Inkblot Test
The Rorschach Ink Blots Test is a diagnostic tool developed by Swiss psychiatrist Hermann Rorschach. The test uses ambiguous ink blots to provoke free associations in the test subject, and the diagnostician records the patient’s responses as well as the ink blots’ spatial position and orientation. The test is highly subjective and depends on the skills and training of the diagnostician and his interpretative abilities. It cannot be used to reliably diagnose patients, but it can draw attention to the patient’s defenses and personal style.
Narcissist Hedges His Bets
Narcissists engage in what could be described as narcissistic hedges, infusing selected subjects, topics, areas, and people with narcissistic investments. They prepare these fields, areas, topics, and people as auxiliary sources of narcissistic supply and as backup options in case of a systems failure. However, the correlation between the various selections the narcissist makes may not be very strong, which is why they can be used as hedges. Once a crisis erupts, the violently reduced narcissist, a faltering shadow of his former false self, is too depleted to make use of the narcissistic hedges that he has created in the first place for exactly such a situation of emergency.
Narcissist: Mother Looms Large
The success or failure of a child’s separation from their mother determines their personal history, autonomy, and sense of self. The mother is the benchmark against which everything in the child’s future is measured. If the mother does not let go, the child does not go, and if the mother is a dependent narcissistic type, the child’s growth prospects are doomed. The death of the mother is a devastating shock and a deliverance, and with the death of his mother, the narcissist embarks on a process of healing.
Narcissist: The Impulse to Be Perfect (Fear of Failure and Success)
Narcissists fear failure and therefore opt for mediocrity, as success means they have more to lose and more ways to fail. Deliberately not succeeding also supports the narcissist’s sense of omnipotence and grandiose conviction that they are perfect. Many narcissistic defenses, traits, and behaviors revolve around this compulsive need to sustain a grandiose self-image of perfection, colloquially known as perfectionism. Deficient impulse control helps achieve this crucial goal, as impulsive actions and addictive behaviors render failure impossible.
Discontinuous Narcissist: Fractured and Broken
The narcissist is a product of early abuse and trauma, leading to a world of unpredictability and arbitrary behavior. They deny their true self and nurture a false one, reinventing themselves as they see fit. The narcissist is adaptable, imitating and emulating others, and is best described as being and nothingness. Living with a narcissist is disorienting and problematic, as they have no past or future and occupy an eternal present. They do not keep agreements or adhere to laws and are inconsistent in their likes and dislikes.
Coping with Stalkers: Psychopaths, Narcissists, Paranoids, Erotomaniacs
Stalkers come in different types, including erotomaniac, narcissistic, paranoid, and anti-social or psychopathic. Coping techniques suited to one type of stalker may backfire or prove to be futile with another. The best coping strategy is to first identify the type of abuser you are faced with. It is essential to avoid all contact with your stalker, but being evaded only inflames the stalker’s wrath and enhances his frustration.