Witnessing the Narcissist’s Glory: Secondary Narcissistic Supply
Narcissists exist by reflection, living through the memories of others. The essence of secondary narcissistic supply is witnessing the narcissist’s glory days, and the narcissist needs to be actively reminded of his achievements and moments of glory. Memories of past grandeur substitute for narcissistic supply, and the main function of people in the narcissist’s life is to tell the narcissist how great he is because of how great he was. The disappearance of witnesses causes the narcissist to fade, and the narcissist is incapable of ever knowing himself except via and through other people.
Narcissistic, Passive-aggressive Organizations and Bureaucracies
Bureaucracies tend to behave passive-aggressively, frustrating their own constituencies and fostering dependence. This behavior is similar to pathological narcissism, with a lack of impulse control and deficient ability to empathize. Collectives perpetuate their existence regardless of whether they have any role left and how well they function. The measure of success of these institutions is in how many failures they have had to endure or have fostered, not how many successes.
Narcissist Uses Money to Enslave, Bribe Victim
Narcissists use money to manipulate and control their victims, who often equate money with love and become entangled in the narcissist’s web. Victims may engage in self-deception and cognitive dissonance to justify their sacrifices and remain on the narcissist’s good side. However, they may eventually rebel and become passive-aggressive, bitter, depressed, and paranoid. If they do not extricate themselves in time, they may acquire the traits and behavior patterns of their narcissistic abusers and form a shared psychosis mediated by money.
Money: Narcissist’s License to Abuse
Money is a love substitute for the narcissist, allowing them to be their corrupt selves and buy absolution, forgiveness, and acceptance. It is a license to sin and a permit to be unmitigated self. Money liberates the mind of the narcissist, allowing them to concentrate on attaining the desired position on top. The narcissist is addicted to money because it is the freedom not to behave in a way that is unbearable to them in the long run.
Codependent No More: Situational Codependence
Situational co-dependence can develop in individuals who experience a life crisis, such as a divorce or the death of a loved one, resulting in a fear of abandonment and loneliness. Patients rush into new relationships to avoid being alone, but this can lead to dysfunctional behaviors that are intended to fend off abandonment. The conflict between conscious emotions and unconscious anxiety can lead to the development of situational co-dependence as a coping strategy. Patients can overcome this by choosing the wrong partner, proving to themselves that they are not co-dependent, and re-establishing their autonomy and self-control.
Civilization Ntopia: To Hell in a Narcissistic Handbasket
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the rise of pathological narcissism in modern society, which he believes is a ubiquitous phenomenon. He argues that healthy narcissism is rendered pathological by abuse and trauma, which are universal human behaviours. Vaknin also suggests that the way pathological narcissism manifests is dependent on the particulars of societies and cultures, and that human collectives can acquire a life and character of their own, which can lead to a common pathology.
Narcissistic Abuse: From Victim to Survivor in 6 Steps
To move on from being a victim of narcissistic abuse, one must abandon the narcissist and move on. Moving on is a process that involves acknowledging and accepting painful reality, learning from the experience, and deciding to act. It is important to grieve and mourn the loss of trust and love, but perpetual grieving is counterproductive. Forgiveness is important, but it should not be a universal behavior. Human relationships are dynamic and require constant assessment. It is not advisable to remain friends with narcissists, as they are only nice and friendly when they want something. Inverted narcissists who remain in relationships with narcissists are victims who deny their own torment and fail to make the transition to survivors.
Nationalism vs. Patriotism: Narcissism vs. Self-love
Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of patriotism, nationalism, and narcissism. He explains how nationalism is exclusionary and oppositional, while patriotism is inclusive and concerned with the here and now. Vaknin also delves into the narcissist’s defense mechanisms, emphasizing the narcissist’s fear of being similar to others and the resulting aggression and hostility. He concludes by highlighting the connection between genetic relatedness and conflict propensities among populations.
Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey! (Part 2)
Narcissists and psychopaths may possess empathy, but they use it as a weapon to extract narcissistic supply or in the pursuit of antisocial and sadistic goals. They empathize with their possessions, objects, pets, and other sources of narcissistic supply or material benefits. However, this is not real empathy, but a mere projection of their own insecurities and fears onto others. People tend to feel revolted, repelled, and scared when they come across narcissists or psychopaths, as they strike their interlocutors as being some kind of alien lifeforms or artificial intelligence.
Predator Narcissist: YOU are the Prey!
Narcissists have the ability to see through other people’s emotional shields and know when they are deviating from the truth. They can intuitively grasp other people’s self-interested goals and accurately predict their strategies and tactics. Narcissists can’t stand self-important, self-inflated, pompous, vigorous, self-righteous, sanctimonious, and hypocritical people because they recognize themselves in them. They expose people’s vulnerabilities and force them to confront their true selves, their dead-end careers, their mundane lives, the death of their hopes and dreams and wishes, their shattered illusions.