BDSM and Role Play are not Narcissism (ENGLISH responses)
Sam Vaknin discusses BDSM and its relation to narcissism. He explains that proper BDSM involves equal power and negotiation, and practitioners are balanced and in control. However, he also describes how narcissists may borrow elements from BDSM to create their own universe, using it to punish and humiliate women as a form of ritualistic human sacrifice. He emphasizes that narcissism is not just a mental health disorder, but a religion, and that understanding narcissists requires thinking in religious terms.
Narcissist: Pornography as Real Life (ENGLISH responses)
Narcissists who are cerebral asexuals do not respond to any sexual cues, advances, or courting by any possible sex partner. They are not responding to visual cues in leaving people. Pornography creates an addiction and misrepresents sex, converting it into something impersonal, aggressive, and dead. Narcissists invest sexual energy and emotions in masturbation but have no investment in sex with real people. The narcissist is self-sufficient in everything and is an autonomous unit with zero dependence on other people, except for narcissistic supply.
Porn: Addiction or Solution? (ENGLISH responses)
Porn addiction is similar to any other addiction, with a compulsive element that makes it difficult to quit. However, the lack of social stigma and adverse consequences associated with porn make it harder to quit. Narcissists who are addicted to porn may continue to engage in the behavior even after the anti-social component of their narcissism has diminished with age. As they age, they may escalate their sexual behavior to try to recapture the initial excitement, but they will never be able to recapture it.
Narcissist’s Dead Libido (ENGLISH responses)
Narcissists have no libido, as they are non-beings with no life force. The libido is a force of life, and while Freud initially had a negative view of it, Jung saw it as a positive force for creativity and inventiveness. Narcissists objectify people and see them as part of a supply chain, with no interest in the source beyond what they can extract from it. Their relationships with significant others are transactional, and their children are seen as future sources of supply rather than expressions of life.
Narcissist’s Celibacy as a Religious Principle (ENGLISH responses)
Narcissists create an ideology that elevates sexual celibacy or sexual abstinence into a religion, which is a private religion with one God, the false self, and one worshiper, the narcissist. Eastern religions and mystical sects use sexual abstinence as the internalization and use of a positive life force to induce a transformation that elevates the person to a higher level. In contrast, Western tradition perceives sex as dirty, prohibited, taboo, negative force, to be suppressed, ignored, and ashamed of, which leads to a cycle of shame and guilt. Narcissists are conflicted about sex, and they treat other people as objects, commodify, objectify, and dehumanize them.
Narcissist’s Sexual Identities (ENGLISH responses)
Narcissists lack an ego and have no reality test, so they rely on other people to provide them with narcissistic supply. The cerebral narcissist uses their intellect to obtain supply, while the somatic narcissist uses their body and sex. However, all narcissists are both cerebral and somatic, with a dominant and recessive side. The dominant side is usually 70-80% of their life, but there is fluctuation between the two types. Narcissists are frozen at a young age and have no sexual or gender identity, leading to infantilization and reaction formation to their own sexuality.
Narcissist’s Sexual Deviance (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)
Narcissists are heavily disrupted when it comes to sexual differentiation and sexual identity, leading to unusual sexual practices. Narcissists are overrepresented in atypical sexual behavior and massively overrepresented in paraphilias. Fewer than 3% of narcissists have what is considered a conventional or normal sexual style, preference, or orientation. The frequency of incest among narcissists is well over 20%, compared to the general population, which is hundreds of times more.
Loving Yourself in the Narcissist’s Hall of Mirrors (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)
Loving a narcissist is an addictive process because the narcissist becomes the victim’s source of self-love and self-discovery. The victim must have a lack of self-love and self-awareness for the narcissist to penetrate and colonize their mind. The relationship with a narcissist can be a form of therapy, but it creates addiction and makes it difficult to leave. The rate of recidivism among victims of narcissistic abuse is high because the experience of loving a narcissist is incomparable and creates an indescribable experience of being in love with oneself.
Collapsed Narcissist in Therapy (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)
In an interview, Sam Vaknin explains that a narcissist would never attend therapy unless they hit rock bottom and lose everything. Even then, they attend therapy not because they want to heal, but because they want to be fixed so they can continue to be the same. Vaknin describes his therapy as hostile and aimed at destroying the narcissist, with the aim of reconstructing them in a way that makes their life more functional and happy. He acknowledges that cold therapy is dangerous for a narcissist, but it is the only hope for them to be reborn.
Narcissist-Victim Sexual Practices (ENGLISH responses, with Nárcisz Coach)
Sam Vaknin discusses the cycle of narcissistic abuse and how victims often find themselves repeatedly attracted to narcissistic partners. He suggests that true transformation and healing can only occur when the victim hits rock bottom and has no source of energy left. Vaknin also explains the difference between consensual BDSM and sadism in narcissistic relationships, which is used as a tool for objectification and control. He notes that narcissists often have severe problems with sexual identity and sex differentiation due to disrupted development in childhood.