Nature: Grandiose Delusion (with Benny Hendel)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of nature and how humans relate to it. He argues that the traditional ways of relating to nature, such as religious domination, romanticism, and decoupling, are all dysfunctional and fail to recognize that humans are part of nature. Vaknin suggests that everything humans create is natural and that nature will use humans as agents to limit their activities if necessary. He concludes that humans need to accept that they are part of nature and act accordingly.
Why NPD and BPD are Perfect Match?
Narcissism and borderline personality disorder are a perfect match, despite the fact that the narcissist tends to devalue and discard their partner while the borderline has abandonment anxiety. The borderline needs a partner who will idealize them and reduce their abandonment anxiety, but then discard them when they feel suffocated. The only intimate partner who provides both functions reliably is the narcissist.
Oedipus, Electra Complexes Bed One Parent, Kill The Other
The Oedipal and Electra complexes are not about sexual attraction to parents, but rather about the child’s need to merge and fuse with the parent of the opposite sex. Until age three or four, children are pansexual and have no concept of sexual attraction or sex drive. The Oedipal complex is actually autoerotic and a manifestation of primary narcissism. The child falls in love with himself and redirects all these emotions and drives and urges at his mother because she’s part of him. The father has no place in this internal economy, and the child pushes him away because he’s unable to cope with external objects.
Is Your Pet Cat a Psychopath? (PURR, GASP!)
A recent study by researchers at the University of Liverpool has found that all cats have some level of psychopathy, with the reason being that in an ancestral environment that demanded self-sufficiency, wild cats that had higher levels of psychopathic traits may have been more successful in acquiring resources such as food, territory and mating opportunities. The study settled on the conclusion that all cats are psychopathic to some degree. The questions asked in the study are pretty generic, such as my cat demands attention, or my cat disobeys rules, or behaviors that are pretty standard for the species.
2 Types of Bad Partner: Too Present, or Too Absent
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the issue of selecting the wrong bed partners, attributing it to insecure attachment styles developed in dysfunctional families. He identifies two types of bad partners: those who are absent and threaten presence, and those who smother with their presence and threaten with their absence. He explains that individuals from dysfunctional families tend to alternate between these two types of partners in an attempt to compensate for the deficiencies of the previous partner. These patterns are a result of unresolved childhood conflicts and the need to reenact them in adult relationships.
People are Like Trees: Roots and Obstacles (by Jennifer Howard)
Psychopathologies are adaptive mechanisms that allow individuals to grow around obstacles and reach a functional equilibrium. Humans are a life form that forms personality structures optimally suited to their needs and outside constraints. Personality configurations may be abnormal, but their existence proves they have triumphed in the delicate task of successful adaptation. Life events contribute to the weaving of the delicate fabric that we call personality.
Victim of Abuse: Rescue Me NOT! Back Off!
Professor Sam Vaknin warns against attempting to rescue victims of narcissistic abuse, as they are often trauma-bonded to their abuser and may not want to be saved. Victims may have a shared fantasy with their abuser, which is their comfort zone, and may resent any attempts to extricate them from it. Vaknin identifies five common fallacies that victims of narcissistic abuse may hold, including the belief that their abuser defines who they are and that they are lucky to have found them. Any attempts to rescue or fix the victim may be rebuffed, and the rescuer may be perceived as a threat.
Insider Tips: Rid Yourself of Your Toxic Partner (with Sarah Davison)
Sam Vaknin explains the differences between healthy and pathological narcissism, and the differences between psychopaths and narcissists. He also discusses gaslighting, confabulation, and the strategies that children who experience abuse and trauma adopt. Sam believes that narcissists are very sick people and should not have any access to their children. He also explains that narcissists reject reality at an early stage in life and invent an imaginary friend, which later becomes the false self and a paracosm.
How You Acquire an Ego (Erikson and Kohut with Daria Żukowska)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of separation individuation, which is a crucial phase in a child’s development where they learn to differentiate themselves from their mother and develop a sense of security. He proposes that there are three phases of separation individuation: infancy, adolescence, and social interaction. Each phase can be disrupted, leading to mental illness or dysfunction. A good enough mother frustrates and pushes the child away, allowing them to explore the world and develop a sense of autonomy.
Ukraine: From Invasion to PTSD (Newsweek, Part 2 – Part 1 in DESCRIPTION)
In an interview, Sam Vaknin discusses the attraction of psychology, the impact it can have on people’s lives, and the importance of creativity and humility in the field. He also touches on the meaning of life, trauma, and the decline of philosophy as a guiding principle in society. Vaknin emphasizes the interconnectedness of these issues and the need to resurrect philosophy as a means of setting ethical and rational guidelines for science, politics, and society.