How Narcissist Steals Your Unconscious, Lures YOU into His Nightmare World
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses how narcissists lure their victims into their surreal and nightmarish world. He compares the experience of being with a narcissist to various literary and philosophical examples, such as Alice in Wonderland and Lacan’s mirror stage. Narcissists create a dreamlike state for their victims, causing them to lose their sense of self and reality. The narcissist’s world is one of infinite emptiness, where victims become trapped in a maze of mirrors, unable to find their way out.
Curing Your Narcissist (News Intervention Interview)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various treatment modalities for narcissistic personality disorder, including cold therapy, which he developed. Cold therapy aims to render the false self redundant and eliminate the need for narcissistic supply. Vaknin also reviews other therapies such as dialectical behavior therapy, cognitive behavior analysis system of psychotherapy, and schema therapy. However, he emphasizes that while some behaviors can be modified, the core of the narcissist remains empty and untouchable.
How Narcissist Perceives Narcissistic Abuse (with Charles Bowes-Taylor)
Sam Vaknin, a professor of psychology and author of books on narcissism, discusses his work and the development of the field. He suggests that narcissism is a form of religion and that narcissists try to convert non-narcissists to their religion. Narcissistic traits, style, personality, and disorder are distinguished by quantitative differences that become qualitative. The guest describes her experience of being hoovered by her narcissistic ex-partner and how it triggered both good and bad memories. In this conversation, Sam Vaknin discusses the nature of narcissists and their relationships with others.
Insider View on Narcissism: What Makes Narcissist Tick (News Intervention Interview)
Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a lack of empathy, grandiosity, and attention-seeking behavior. Narcissistic abuse is a subtype of abusive behavior that is pervasive, sophisticated, and manipulative, with the intention to negate the victim’s personal autonomy and well-being. Victims of narcissistic abuse often experience depression, anxiety, disorientation, and trauma bonding. To cope with narcissists, one can employ various techniques, such as setting boundaries, avoiding confrontation, and seeking support from others.
20 WRONG Ideas About Therapy, Psychology
Psychology is a vast field that goes beyond therapy and mental health, encompassing various aspects of human behavior, cognition, and emotion. It is not a science, but rather a discipline with a rich body of literature and insights. Psychologists work in various settings, not just clinical ones, and can help people gain insights into their lives and behaviors. While some myths about psychology may hold a grain of truth, it is important to recognize the complexity and value of the field.
Therapist Your Father, Wife Your Mother: Transference as Flashback Light
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of transference in psychology, comparing it to a “flashback light” where individuals project emotions and ideas from past relationships onto new figures in their lives. He explains how transference can lead to dysfunctional patterns of behavior and relational dynamics, particularly in individuals with certain attachment styles or personality disorders. Vaknin also delves into the concept of projective identification, where individuals try to force new people in their lives to conform to familiar, often unhealthy, relational patterns from the past. Ultimately, he views transference as a resistance and a repetition compulsion that seeks redemptive resolution but never materializes.
Narcissistic Autoerotic Dating (Talk with Genevieve DiNatale)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various topics in this series of transcripts, including narcissism, psychopathy, gender roles, and online dating. He explains that narcissism has a genetic component and can be caused by any breach of boundaries that denies the child separation from parental figures. He also talks about the sadomasochistic tendencies of narcissists and how they create self-justifying narratives. Additionally, he discusses the decline in sexual activity and childbirth rates in the younger generation, which he attributes to atomization, self-isolation, and technological empowerment. Finally, he talks about the phenomenon of online dating and social media infidelity, stating that men and women have different motivations for being on dating apps, and most interactions are for self-validation, entertainment, and filling time.
So, Can You Change Your Attachment Style?
Attachment styles are stable but attachment behaviors can be modified. The internal relationship model is formed in childhood and influences how people interact and build relationships. Life crises and having a good partner can mitigate insecure attachment styles, but personal growth and development come from being vulnerable and open to loss. Internal working models are dynamic and can change with self-awareness and experience.
No “Wrong” Partner, Other Moronic Relationship Advice
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of mate selection and attachment styles. He argues that individuals tend to select partners who resonate with their psychological makeup and attachment style, and that this is a result of an evolutionary process. Vaknin also emphasizes the importance of considering a partner’s past behavior as the best predictor of future behavior, contrary to the advice given by some self-help gurus. He warns against blindly following online advice and encourages individuals to be thorough in understanding their potential intimate partners.
Capitalism: Religion of Envy
Capitalism is founded on envy, not jealousy, and this relationship drives the system. Envy is a pathological manifestation of destructive aggressiveness, distinct from jealousy, which is constructive. Envy is engendered by the realization of some lack, deficiency, or inadequacy in oneself, and it is a perpetual mobile that feeds on itself. The playing field in capitalism is heavily skewed and biased, and laws that were supposed to have amended or corrected justice and equity are not being implemented because politicians are in the pocket of the rich.