Narcissistic Abuse: Not Your Fault, Nothing You Can Do (Wellness Insider)
Narcissists have alloplastic defenses, blaming others for their problems and considering themselves perfect. They may resort to therapy when they hit rock bottom, but they seek to return to their old selves rather than change. Narcissists have an external locus of control, perceiving everything as happening to them and regarding their intimate partners as extensions of themselves. To support victims of narcissistic abuse, loved ones should provide validation and support without perpetuating the victimhood stance.
Metaverse: Conspiracy or Heaven? (With Divya Thakur)
Summary: In this conversation, Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the metaverse, its potential impact on society, and the need for regulation to mitigate its negative effects. He highlights concerns about addiction, mental health, climate impact, and labor issues. He emphasizes the importance of grassroots activism, particularly by parents and women, to push for legislative measures to control the metaverse and protect society from its potential harms.
Deja-vu: Fight Back Gaslighting, Messing with YOUR Mind
Gaslighting is a manipulative form of communication where a power differential exists, often involving invalidation of emotions, twisting reality, and coercion. It can lead to lower self-worth, feelings of insecurity, depression, and anxiety. To combat gaslighting, it is important to recognize the situation, document events and feelings, assert oneself, seek support from others, and consult a professional if necessary. Gaslighting is a dangerous form of emotional abuse that can have long-lasting effects on mental health.
Where Capitalism Went Wrong and How to Fix It (with Maria Morais of Circklo)
Sam Vaknin discusses the adverse outcome of addiction to innovation as consumers, planned obsolescence, and the asymmetry of power in business. He also talks about the emergence of tech startups and the failure of corporate institutions to embrace this type of talent. Vaknin suggests that the financing industry needs to be reconstructed using algorithms and reverting from hierarchy to network. Finally, he discusses the failure rate of startups and how it has been the same since the 80s, unlike the success rate of innovations in the 18th and 19th centuries.
30 Reasons to STAY in Abusive Relationship? NOT!
Professor Sam Vaknin explains why people stay in abusive relationships, including fear, laziness, nostalgia, emotional blackmail, aversion to failure, and a belief that they cannot find anyone better. However, he emphasizes that these reasons are not good enough to stay in an abusive relationship and that people should prioritize their own well-being and happiness. Apologies and promises are not enough to sustain a healthy relationship, and may even be a form of gaslighting if they are intended to skew your perception of reality. Ultimately, the only question to ask is, “Am I happy?” If the answer is no, walk away and don’t look back.
Are You Normal? Check This List!
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of normalcy and mental health, arguing that there is no clear definition of what is normal. He suggests that mental health consists of the ability to function and being happy with who you are, with self-love being the most important aspect. Vaknin also criticizes the medicalization and pathologization of human behavior, stating that mental health practitioners should focus on treating distress and helping patients regain functioning and contentment rather than conforming to an idealized concept of normalcy. He believes that mentally ill individuals should self-isolate and focus on other areas of their lives to avoid causing harm to others.
Can Narcissist be Tricked Into Healing? (with Daria Zukowska)
Sam Vaknin explains that while certain behaviors of narcissists can be modified, the disorder itself is very difficult to reverse. The realistic treatment goal for NPD is to make the narcissist more acceptable to others and less problematic. In therapy with narcissists, conditioning and reinforcement are critical. The therapist should provide a constant stream of narcissistic supply and explicit praise when the narcissist modifies their behavior in accordance with treatment goals. Narcissists have emotional distortions because they have cognitive distortions, and they have access only to negative emotions.
Narcissist’s Relationship Cycle Decoded and What To Do About It – Part 3 of 3
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses coping strategies for those in relationships with narcissists, including the concept of narcissistic mortification as a means to prevent hoovering. He explains that once in a relationship with a narcissist, one must adopt a different set of rules, potentially mirroring narcissistic behaviors to survive and eventually extricate oneself. Vaknin also addresses the importance of no contact as the only recommended strategy for dealing with narcissists post-relationship. He emphasizes the difficulty of removing the narcissist’s internalized presence (introjects) from one’s mind and offers advice on how to reverse the roles and regain control over one’s life. The seminar includes a Q&A session where Vaknin answers various questions related to narcissism and its effects on relationships and individuals.
Narcissist’s Relationship Cycle Decoded and What To Do About It – Part 1 of 3
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the seminar on narcissism and astrophysics in mental health. He delves into the phases of the narcissist’s relationship cycle, the characteristics of pathological narcissism, and the impact of childhood trauma on the development of narcissistic personality disorder. He also explains the narcissist’s incapacity for self-love and the dynamics of the relationship with the narcissist.
Narcissist Can’t Feel Lovable, Good, Worthy, Self-rejects
Negative identity in narcissism involves defining oneself in contrast or contradiction to others, either positively or negatively. This can lead to self-rejection, self-loathing, and the creation of a false self to compensate for the perceived inadequacy of the true self. This process is further complicated by the narcissist’s autoplastic and alloplastic defenses, as well as their external and internal locus of control. Ultimately, the narcissist’s pursuit of goals and accomplishments to satisfy their false self serves as a form of self-rejection, as they are constantly reminded of their inadequacy and worthlessness in comparison to the false self.