20 Reasons to NOT Have Kids
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the reasons why people are choosing not to have children. He cites studies that show having children can negatively impact physical and mental health, relationships, social life, earning power, and the environment. He also highlights the high cost of raising children, including education expenses, and the fact that many young adults are living with their parents well into their 20s and 30s. Overall, Vaknin argues that there are few good reasons to have children and suggests that counseling or medication may be necessary for those who still want to have them.
New Year on Planet Mental Illness
Mental illness is a state of disconnect, a state of discontinuity and disjointedness. There’s no gyroscope, no core identity, no guiding light, no northern star, no caressing hand, no embrace and no hugs and no warmth and no acceptance and no love. Mental illness is a cancer of the soul. It’s all-consuming. It’s all devouring. It’s merciless. And its advance is unhindered by any external intervention.
Our Cluster B Future (with Dr. Martin Burckhardt)
The text is a conversation between two individuals discussing the impact of narcissism and borderline personality disorder on psychology and society. They explore the role of the environment in shaping identity and the transition from stability to growth in human history. They also touch on the impact of technology and the internet on human behavior and mental health. The conversation delves into the intersection of psychology, philosophy, and technology, and the implications for individuals and society.
Why Narcissists Can’t Think Straight (Constructs, Introjects, Memories, Defenses)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the complex inner workings of a narcissist’s mind, focusing on constructs and introjects. Constructs are stable methods of organizing internal data to make sense of the world, while introjects are internal voices of meaningful others. In a narcissist, these constructs and introjects work together to maintain a false internal environment that conforms to their self-perception and prevents dissonance and anxiety. This manipulation of reality and memories serves to protect the narcissist from realizing that something is wrong with them.
Cheating, Triangulation in Sick Relationships: Power Play, Revenge, Entitlement
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses cheating and triangulation in relationships, particularly in obsessive and narcissistic relationships. In obsessive relationships, cheating and triangulation serve as tools to manage the relationship, establish hierarchy, and communicate with one another. In narcissistic relationships, cheating can be a result of seeking narcissistic supply, boredom, feeling superior, control issues, and fear of intimacy. Both types of relationships can lead to negative consequences and emotional turmoil for all parties involved.
4 Things To Say To Your Avoidant Borderline ( 5 Dynamics)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the challenges of dealing with a borderline personality and offers advice on how to cope with their avoidance. He explains the internal processes and dynamics that drive the borderline’s behavior, including issues with attachment, identity disturbance, and dissociation. Vaknin also emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and providing stability and reassurance to the borderline. He suggests specific sentences to say to a borderline in order to address their abandonment anxiety and provide a holding environment.
Cold Therapy Seminar BOOTLEG: Introduction Lecture
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his approach to treating narcissistic personality disorder through a method he developed called “cold therapy.” He argues that traditional therapies fail with narcissists because they treat them as adults, whereas narcissists are emotionally akin to 18-month-old children. Vaknin’s cold therapy involves retraumatizing the patient in a controlled environment to break through their defenses and induce change. He acknowledges the risks and ethical concerns of his method, which can lead to decompensation and even psychotic states in patients. Vaknin emphasizes that cold therapy is not a cure but can eliminate the need for grandiosity and the false self in narcissists. He also notes that only patients who have hit rock bottom are suitable for this therapy.
Engulfment Anxiety Tips Bad Vs. Good Voices In Borderlines, Codependents, People Pleasers
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is commonly associated with abandonment anxiety, but there is another type of anxiety that is less reported in literature, which is engulfment or enmeshment anxiety. This anxiety is triggered when a Borderline gets too intimate with someone, and it creates a feeling of being controlled from the outside, leading to a fear of being assimilated or digested. This anxiety is caused by the Borderline’s bad object, which is a collection of internal voices that inform them of their unworthiness and inadequacy. To cope with this anxiety, Borderlines should establish a people-free time and zone, introduce structure into their lives, and stop being emotionally invested in the past or future.
Toxic Family Holidays Gathering Guide
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses coping with toxic families during holidays and family reunions. Toxic families are characterized by abusive, controlling, or humiliating behavior from one or more members. To cope with such families, one should accept the reality of the situation, plan ahead, set boundaries, and expect nothing. It is also important to avoid getting sucked into arguments, sensitive topics, and showing emotions. Lastly, it is crucial to have an exit strategy and debrief with a close friend or partner after the event.
Why Cerebral Narcissist Becomes Somatic ( Aging, Death)
Cerebral narcissists are individuals who redirect their entire libido and eros into intellectual pursuits, using their mind, intellect, and intelligence to secure favorable outcomes from the environment. This is due to sublimation, which involves converting drives, urges, and instincts into socially acceptable activities that consume the energy that should have gone to these drives, urges, and instincts. However, cerebral narcissists can transition to become somatic sex addicts following something known as narcissistic collapse, when they can no longer obtain supply in the classical traditional habituated ways. This transformation is very destabilizing for the narcissist, and they become very mournful, grieving, and furious, sometimes even suicidal.