Are You Sure You Are Human?
The lecture explores the question of what it means to be human and how it is becoming increasingly difficult to define. The traditional definition of being human as being distinct from animals and machines is no longer tenable due to evolutionary and technological advancements. The uniqueness of humans may lie in their behavioral unpredictability and awareness of mortality. The lecture also discusses the dethroning of humans in the Western worldview and the recent resurgence of individualism in various fields. The internet is seen as a manifestation of this resurgence, but social media and the attention economy may reverse this trend.
DANGER! Crazymaking Drama in YOUR Relationship
Drama, crazy making, and chaos are defining features of mental health disturbances, particularly in cluster B personality disorders. The reasons behind such behavior vary depending on the disorder, but they often involve a need for attention, a sense of vulnerability, or a misapprehension of limitations. The drama and crazy making are intended to support the self-perception of the individual, whether it be grandiosity, invincibility, or a need for attention. Those in relationships with individuals with these disorders should be aware of the potential risks and dangers.
Your Unconscious, Fantasies Not Narcissist’s
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of the unconscious in psychology, including different schools of thought and Freud’s trilateral model of the mind. He explains that the unconscious is a language and a public dimension formed by input and feedback from others. Vaknin also discusses the role of fantasy in narcissism, with narcissists being slaves to their own fantasies and inhabiting them more than their victims. Fantasy is a language and a bridge between consciousness and the unconscious, but in narcissism, it takes elements from consciousness and renders them unconscious.
Why You Mourn Breakup with Narcissist? (Dual Mothership)
The dual mothership concept is a principle developed by Sam Vaknin to explain the prolonged grief involved in narcissistically abusive relationships. It involves the Narcissist becoming the partner’s idealizing mother, offering unconditional love, and the partner becoming the Narcissist’s idealizing mother, offering unconditional love. This process is known as co-idealization, and both parties experience self-love through an idealized image of themselves. When the relationship ends, there is triple mourning involving three losses: the partner’s idealized self, the Narcissist as their mother, and the partner as the Narcissist’s child.
From Insecure to Flat Attachment: Narcissists, Psychopaths Never Bond (Compilation)
Sam Vaknin proposes a fifth attachment style called “flat attachment,” where individuals are incapable of bonding or relating to others at all. They view others as interchangeable and dispensable, transitioning seamlessly from one person to the next without mourning or processing grief. This style is common among narcissists and psychopaths. Vaknin also discusses the confusion between intimacy, emotions, sex, and attachment, emphasizing that intimacy does not necessarily involve emotions, and emotions do not always lead to intimacy. He highlights that attachment styles are stable across the lifespan and are influenced by early caregiving experiences, shaping one’s expectations and beliefs about relationships. Vaknin’s work suggests that individuals with cluster B personality disorders, as well as those with complex trauma, exhibit insecure attachment styles, which can manifest in behaviors like stalking, and are often rooted in dysfunctional early relationships with caregivers.
Individuation Last Phase Of Healing From Narcissistic Abuse
In this video, Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of individuation after separating from a narcissist. He explains that the narcissist is a duality, making it difficult to separate and silence the narcissist’s voice in your head. The process of individuation involves silencing the narcissist’s voice, embodying your authentic voice, self-mothering, self-saving, and choosing life. It is about becoming a person with personhood and defining who you are without allowing anyone else to tell you who you are.
Transient Narcissist: Substances, Circumstances
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses various topics related to narcissism, including transient and acquired situational narcissism, the effects of cocaine and alcohol on individuals, and how victims of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) can develop narcissistic and psychopathic traits. He explains how alcohol can fuel grandiosity and lead to reckless behavior, and how covert narcissists can become addicted to alcohol and other reckless behaviors. Vaknin suggests that treating the underlying personality disorder is necessary to address the narcissist’s addictions, and that techniques such as 12 Steps may be more effective in treating the narcissist’s grandiosity, rigidity, sense of entitlement, exploitativeness, and lack of empathy.
Shameful Core of Covert Narcissist: Inferior Vulnerability Compensated
The text discusses the role of shame in narcissism, distinguishing between grandiose overt narcissism and covert vulnerable narcissism. It explores shame’s impact on behavior and the differences between the two types of narcissism. The author references various studies and theories to support the idea that shame is a central feature of vulnerable narcissism and its association with mental illness and addictive behaviors. The text also highlights the need for a more nuanced understanding of narcissism and its relationship with shame.
Borderline Bible: Switching to Identity Disturbance, Psychopathic Self-state (Compilation)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the perspective of a person with borderline personality disorder (BPD) towards their intimate partner. He describes two phases in the relationship: the approach phase and the avoidance phase. In the approach phase, the person with BPD sees their partner as their world, savior, and stabilizer of moods. They feel completed and whole with their partner. In the avoidance phase, the person with BPD feels overwhelmed by pain, anticipates abandonment, and may engage in acting out behaviors like cheating or other reckless actions. They may experience dissociation and view their partner as wanting to control or harm them. The cycle of approach and avoidance is compulsive and not mitigated by external factors. Vaknin emphasizes the intense and chaotic nature of relationships with individuals with BPD.
Mourning Yourself After Narcissistic Abuse
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concept of prolonged grief disorder (PGD), previously known as complicated grief, which is characterized by an inability to move on from a loss. He explains that grief can become a central organizing principle in a person’s life, leading to a constricted existence and an inability to enjoy life. Vaknin suggests that everyone experiences prolonged grief at some point, and it is considered pathological if it lasts longer than a year. He also delves into the relationship between narcissists and their victims, describing how narcissists can induce a state of prolonged grief in their victims by offering a simulation of unconditional love and then withdrawing it, leaving the victim feeling abandoned and mourning the loss of the relationship, which was never real to begin with. Vaknin emphasizes the importance of separating from the narcissist both physically and mentally to break the symbiotic relationship and begin the process of healing and individuation.