Hookups Trap: Bad Sex, Female Raw Deal (Literature Review)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the cultural shift from traditional dating to the prevalence of casual sexual encounters, known as hookups, among young adults, particularly in college settings. He highlights the psychological and emotional consequences of such encounters, including feelings of regret, shame, and increased rates of depression and anxiety. Vaknin also points out the role of alcohol and drug use in facilitating hookups and the discrepancy between the actual desires for intimacy and the behaviors exhibited due to peer pressure and societal expectations. He warns of the potential long-term negative impacts on mental health and relationship formation.
Never Both: Either Healing OR Behavior Modification in Cluster B Personality Disorders (Conference)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the conundrum of personality disorders, particularly Cluster B disorders, and their relationship to behavior and internal psychodynamics. He explores the disconnect between internal healing and persistent dysfunctional behaviors, attributing it to factors such as dissociative self-states, anxiety, and identity disturbance. Vaknin emphasizes the challenges in treating these disorders and the need for innovative approaches. He recommends literature on the topic and concludes by highlighting the difficulty in achieving behavior modification in these patients.
Narcissist’s Impossible Jigsaw Puzzle
Narcissists are fascinating due to their contradictory traits and behaviors. They can be highly intelligent and creative, yet emotionally immature and self-destructive. They can appear self-sufficient but are extremely dependent on others for validation. These disconnects challenge our understanding of psychology, as narcissists seem to defy the typical integration of cognitive, emotional, and behavioral aspects of a person. Narcissism remains a perplexing and unchanging phenomenon, providing valuable insights into the human mind.
Borderline’s Miracle Healing
Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a mental health issue that affects 1-2% of the general population. Contrary to popular belief, BPD is not untreatable and has a positive prognosis over time. Studies have shown that most patients with BPD improve with time, and by age 45, a significant portion of patients will have healed spontaneously. However, while the disorder may remit, some dysfunctional behaviors persist, and there is a need for a two-step treatment approach: first, tackle the core disorder, and then focus on teaching the recovered patient functional skills.
When You Are Their Sex Prop: Exhibitionism, Autoeroticism, Masochism
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses auto-eroticism, exhibitionism, and submissiveness in sex, particularly in relation to narcissism and psychopathy. Auto-eroticism is when someone regards themselves as their own sex object, and it is often found in narcissists and psychopaths. Exhibitionism is becoming sexually aroused by being observed, which is also a form of narcissism. Self-trashing is a behavior found in narcissists and psychopaths, where they engage in degrading sexual acts as a form of self-punishment. There is a difference between self-trashing and being submissive in BDSM, as self-trashing individuals maintain control and defiance, while submissives relinquish control to their dominant partner.
Masochism: Borderlines, Psychopaths Self-trash
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses sexual masochism among people with borderline personality disorder and psychopathy. He explains that sexual masochism is a form of self-trashing and describes four types of sexual contexts that lead to trashing and sexual arousal. Borderlines and psychopaths engage in cheating, substance abuse, and choosing inappropriate mates as ways of self-trashing that cause sexual arousal. Self-trashing is compulsive and masochistic, while promiscuity is impulsive and empowering.
Resist Narcissism, Grassroots Up! (Interview with Dr. Lisa Alastuey)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the rise of narcissism and psychopathy in modern society, which he attributes to social, cultural, and historical trends, as well as the prevalence of technology. He emphasizes the importance of recognizing the difference between healthy narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder, and the need to focus on being genuine, authentic, and assertive while recognizing limitations and shortcomings. Vaknin advocates for anti-narcissism at the individual level and rebuilding institutions to channel collective empowerment. He also warns of the dangers of social media and pornography, which he believes are killing us and leading to a disconnect among young people.
Borderline vs. Narcissist Idealization Fantasies
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the differences between the borderline’s shared fantasy and the narcissist’s shared fantasy. He explains that both borderline and narcissist have similarities, but their internal psychodynamics are very different. The borderline has empathy and overwhelming emotions, while the narcissist lacks emotional empathy and experiences only negative emotions. The shared fantasies of the borderline and the narcissist are also different, with the borderline having a variety of shared fantasies and the narcissist having a simpler, maternal-based shared fantasy. Both types of individuals end up in a victim role, leading to a cycle of idealization and demonization in their relationships.
Staring Into Abyss: Failed Healer’s Confession
Therapists, psychologists, counselors, and coaches can be traumatized by their work, especially when they encounter patients who are beyond help. These patients have minds that are tangled messes, and therapists can be drawn inexorably deeper into their primordial jungle, knowing that it could spell their own doom. When a therapist comes across a patient like this, they are liable to lose their mind, and it is a terrifying experience. Therapists can burn out, melt down, act out, decompensate, and dysregulate, and they can react very badly.
Loving the Borderline in Her Fantasy
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the love life, sexual fantasies, and relationships of borderline women, as well as the connection between borderline personality disorder and promiscuity. He delves into the origins and manifestations of the disorder, including its link to childhood trauma and heredity. Vaknin also explores the impact of these dynamics on relationships and the potential for resonance or exacerbation of pathologies in such pairings.