Therapy Session with Vince(nt) van Gogh (Estrangement Technique)
Professor Sam Vaknin uses a technique called estrangement in his therapy sessions, where he addresses his patient with the name of someone significant in their life to elicit an outsider’s point of view and provoke the patient. In this session, he speaks with Vincent Van Gogh and suggests that Van Gogh has borderline personality disorder. Vaknin encourages Van Gogh to seek help, take a break from his current life, and gain perspective on his relationships and emotional investment in his painting.
Alien World of Narcissism (TalkTV with Trisha Goddard)
Professor Sam Vaknin, a leading authority on narcissism, explains that healthy narcissism is a normal part of early childhood development, but when it persists into adulthood, it becomes pathological. Narcissists are unable to regulate their self-esteem and rely on others for attention and validation, often creating a false self that is grandiose and perfect. In relationships, narcissists commoditize their partners and see them as extensions of themselves, seeking sex, services, supply, and safety. Vaknin advises those in relationships with narcissists to cut their losses and leave, as narcissism can be contagious and damaging.
Hypervigilance and Intuition as Forms of Anxiety
Anxiety is a complex emotion that shapeshifts and invades every cell of the psyche, causing cognitive distortions such as catastrophizing and leading to comorbidities such as depression. Anxiety is closely associated with multiple mental health dysfunctions, including hypersexuality and psychopathy. Intuition and hypervigilance are examples of anxiety, which feed on bodily inputs and involve catastrophizing. Hypervigilance is a symptom of PTSD and other forms of anxiety disorders, and when intuition and gut feeling become the foundation for decision-making, they always lead to hypervigilance.
Borderline’s Partner: Enters Healthy, Exits Mentally Ill
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the impact of individuals with borderline personality disorder on their partners, suggesting that they can induce narcissistic behaviors in them. He also addresses misconceptions about Freud’s theories and delves into the psychological dynamics at play in relationships with individuals with borderline personality disorder. The borderline’s need for object constancy and the partner’s response to it are explored, leading to the development of narcissistic and borderline behaviors in the partner. The complex and challenging dynamics of these relationships are thoroughly analyzed.
Asexuality, Grey Sexuality, and Narcissism
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the concepts of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD), asexuality, and graysexuality. He clarifies that asexuality is a legitimate and healthy sexual orientation, but HSDD is a disorder that requires treatment if it causes distress. Vaknin also explains that all narcissists go through phases of asexuality during the pathology of their disorder, but not all asexuals are narcissists. He warns that asexuality has become a form of identity politics and may be exploited by narcissistic and psychopathic individuals.
Psychopathic (Malignant) Narcissist: Best of Both Worlds (with Jim Mora, New Zealand)
Sam Vaknin, a diagnosed psychopathic narcissist, explains that narcissism is a desperate attempt to obtain attention to regulate the internal landscape of the narcissist. He describes the signs of narcissism, distinguishes between narcissistic personality disorder and narcissistic style, and argues that it is impossible for narcissists to have successful relationships. Narcissism is not treatable because it is the entire personality that is deformed beyond reconstruction in early childhood. Sam Vaknin discusses his journey of self-discovery and how he became an expert on narcissistic personality disorder.
7 Phases of Shared Fantasy: Narcissist Needs YOU to Make Him Great Again
Professor Sam Vaknin’s conceptual framework for understanding narcissists’ interpersonal relationships is based on the idea of a shared fantasy. The process begins with co-idealization, where the narcissist idealizes their partner and themselves. This is followed by dual mothership, where the narcissist and their partner take on maternal roles for each other. The narcissist then mentally discards their partner, leading to devaluation and splitting. Finally, the narcissist may attempt to re-idealize their partner to resolve anxiety caused by the devalued internal representation of their partner.
Borderline, Narcissist: Why They Can’t Let Go of Each Other
The professor discusses the comments on his video and then delves into the differences between the shared fantasies of borderlines and narcissists. He explains that both types of individuals have similarities and traits, but their shared fantasies have different functions and dynamics. The narcissist’s shared fantasy is about engulfing, while the borderline’s shared fantasy is about being engulfed. He also explains the reasons behind the hoovering behavior of both types.
Why Narcissist Can’t Get You Out of His Mind? (Introject Constancy)
Narcissists use splitting as a defense mechanism, which involves seeing themselves as all good and others as all bad. They idealize their partner, but then need to discard them to separate from their original mother. To do this, they devalue their partner by taking the idealized snapshot of them and imbuing it with negative qualities. However, they cannot get rid of the internal object, causing them to devalue and discard their partner in reality. This is due to introject constancy, where the narcissist creates internal objects that are constant and reliable, unlike external objects.
Narcissist First Discards You in His Mind, Then in Reality (EXCERPT)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the process of idealization, devaluation, discard, and replacement in the context of narcissistic behavior. He explains the psychological dynamics behind these stages and how they relate to the narcissist’s need to separate from their intimate partner. Vaknin delves into the complexities of the narcissist’s mindset and the internal struggle they face in justifying their actions. He also explores the discrepancy between the sequence of events in the narcissist’s mind and their actual behavior.