Covert Borderline’s Relationships (with Melissa Rondeau, LMHC, MBA)
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses his proposed diagnosis of covert borderline, which he suggests is a gap between classic narcissism and classic borderline personality disorder. He explains that the covert borderline is emotionally dysregulated and overwhelmed by emotions, unlike the classic narcissist who does not have access to positive emotions. The covert borderline is also seductive, glibly seductive, and likely to be flirtatious, socially charming, and charismatic. In addition, he discusses the characteristics of covert borderlines, their internal focus of control, and their need for narcissistic supply. Finally, he talks about the differences between psychopaths and narcissists, stating that psychopaths are more human than narcissists.
Snapshotting’s Role in Narcissist’s Shared Fantasy
Narcissists have two types of relationships: pseudo intimate relationships and shared fantasies. The narcissist snapshots their intimate partner, introjects them, idealizes the resultant internal object, and then coerces their partner into conforming to this inner representation of them. The narcissist does this in order to push their partner away and complete separation and individuation with the new maternal figure, the intimate partner. The partner’s reactions to this dehumanization and objectification can result in abandonment, triangulation with a third party, or succumbing and becoming a figment in the narcissist’s shared fantasy.
Narcissistic Abuse is Never Your Fault! (Sam Vaknin in Serbia)
In a relationship with a narcissist, there is nothing you can do to please them. The narcissist’s behavior is determined from the inside, and you are not relevant to them. They try to convert you into an object and take away your independence and autonomy. Narcissistic abuse is about making you disappear.
Narcissist Pays Heavy Price For Betrayal Fantasy
The Narcissist Betrayal Fantasy is a strategy used by narcissists to get rid of their intimate partners by pushing them to cheat or betray them. This allows the narcissist to maintain the high moral ground and dissolve the shared fantasy, which is highly addictive and difficult to break. The narcissist experiences pain in the form of narcissistic injury or mortification due to the misinterpretation of their actions by others, but this short-term cost is outweighed by the long-term benefits of a victimhood narrative. This strategy is also applied in other relationships, such as friendships and work collaborations, by engineering situations that set people up for failure and then pointing to their misbehavior as justification for ending the relationship.
Sex Addiction, Hypersexuality, Compulsive Sexual Behaviour Disorder ( CSBD)
Sex addiction is a real clinical entity, but it is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. It is not the same as promiscuity, as sex addicts often have certain standards and are not indiscriminate in their sexual partner selection. Sex addiction is a compulsion, and many sex addicts are celibate or masturbate excessively. The root of sex addiction is not fully understood, but it is linked to shame and early traumatic experiences. There is no good treatment, and the prognosis is poor.
How to Overcome Obsessive Love Disorder
Obsessive love is a pathological and dysfunctional form of love that is reminiscent of addiction. The main characteristic of obsessive love is the inability to put an end to it. It is a form of extreme hatred and a suicide act. Obsessive love is a reenactment of early childhood conflicts, mummy issues usually or later life conflicts with parental figures, including daddy issues. It’s about regressing back to childhood.
Somatic Narcissists as Wannabe Gurus/Intellectuals
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses somatic narcissists who pretend to be cerebral narcissists, a type of covert narcissist. These individuals derive narcissistic supply from their looks and body, and often pose as intellectuals, gurus, or experts. They are envious of the intelligence and intellect of cerebral narcissists and may plagiarize their work. These somatic covert narcissists are dangerous and often pose as saviors or healers, but are actually psychopaths. Vaknin urges for them to be exposed and warns of the danger they pose to society.
Narcissist’s Betrayal Fantasy Painful Mommy Separation
The narcissist pushes their intimate partners to betray them in order to fulfill their betrayal fantasy, which stems from their early childhood experiences with their mother. This betrayal allows the narcissist to separate from their partner, who they have turned into a mother figure, and experience the pain of betrayal, which they believe will make the separation irreversible. The narcissist’s self-destructive behavior is a form of emotional disinvestment, allowing them to detach from the fantasy and move on. However, this cycle often repeats itself with new partners, as the narcissist is unable to fully separate and individuate.
Women=Wrong Men: Toxic Unigender (TalkTV with Trisha Goddard)
The census for England and Wales has recorded the number of transgender and non-binary people for the first time, with 262,000 people identifying as a gender different to their sex registered at birth. The census also recorded sexuality for the first time, with 1.5 million people aged over 15 or 3.2% identifying as gay or lesbian, bisexual or other sexual orientation. Professor Sam Vaknin, a clinical psychologist, believes that the emergence of a unigender is part of a historical process, with the two world wars creating a shortage of males and capitalism transitioning into a paradigm of eternal growth, which required the introduction of women into the workforce and as consumers.
Why Narcissist Never Says “ I Am Sorry”
Professor Sam Vaknin discusses the narcissist’s inability to apologize or feel remorse, attributing it to their grandiosity, sense of entitlement, and lack of empathy. He also delves into the sources of the narcissist’s immunity to consequences, including their false self, magical thinking, and manipulative skills. Vaknin argues that narcissists should be held accountable for their actions, as they are aware of right and wrong but simply do not care about others enough to refrain from harmful behavior.