Narcissistic Supply Deficiency Coping Strategies
Sam Vaknin explains that the grandiosity gap between a narcissist’s self-image and reality is grating on their nerves. As a result, the narcissist resorts to self-delusion, which can lead to various solutions. These include the delusional narrative solution, the antisocial solution, the paranoid schizoid solution, the paranoid aggressive or explosive solution, and the masochistic avoidance solution. Ultimately, the narcissist’s pronounced and public misery and self-pity are compensatory and reinforce their self-esteem against overwhelming convictions of worthlessness.
Bad Therapy for Abuse Victims and Survivors
Therapy for victims and survivors of abuse is not always smooth, with therapists often experiencing counter-transference and struggling to identify with the victim. Male therapists may try to prove themselves as good men, while female therapists may blame the victim for their abuse. Many therapists expect the victim to be aggressive and assertive, leading to premature termination of therapy if they fail to do so. However, good therapy can empower the victim and restore their sense of control over their life. It is crucial to find a therapist that is compatible with the specific victim or survivor of abuse.
Acquired Situational Narcissism
According to Professor Robert B. Millman, pathological malignant narcissism can be induced in adulthood by celebrity, wealth, and fame. He calls this acquired situational narcissism and believes that it can be provoked by certain situations. However, it is likely that acquired situational narcissism is merely an amplification and manifestation of earlier narcissistic conduct, traits, style, and tendencies. Narcissists tend to gravitate to specific professions and settings which guarantee them access to fame, celebrity, power, and wealth.
Twitter Narcissism
Twitter is not a platform for narcissists as it limits them to 140 characters, which can cause narcissistic injury. However, Twitter presents a challenge to its users to be creative and imaginative in their communication. Twitter is the digital reincarnation of earlier forms of direct communication, such as the telegraph and text message, and forces recipients to use their imagination to decipher the code. Twitter is unlikely to disappear and is unlikely to become a platform for verbose, uncontrollable narcissists.
Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD) Misdiagnosed as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Narcissists are anxious for social approval and seek narcissistic supply compulsively, which creates attendant anxiety. They require external feedback to regulate their sense of self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem, making them irritable. Narcissists are terrified of being embarrassed or criticized in public, and they fail to function well in various settings. It is easy to mistake the presenting symptoms of certain anxiety disorders with pathological narcissism, but the narcissist is egosyntonic, while the anxious patient is distressed and looking for help.
Abusive Ex Leverages Children Against You
Abusive ex-partners often use their children to manipulate and control their former partners. They may co-opt their children into aiding and abetting their abusive conduct, using them as bargaining chips or leverage. The abuser may emotionally blackmail the children, threatening to withhold love and affection if they do not comply with their demands. The abuser may also pervert the system, using therapies, marriage counselors, mediators, court-appointed guardians, police officers, and even judges to pathologize the victim and separate them from their sources of emotional sustenance.
Abusive Ex: Tell Your Children the Truth!
Parents who have been victims of abuse should not attempt to present a balanced picture of their relationship with their abusive ex-spouse to their children. Children have a right to know the truth about the overall state of affairs between their parents, and both parents have a moral obligation to tell their offspring the truth. If spousal abuse is wholly or partly to blame, it should be brought out into the open and discussed honestly with the children. The child should be brought up to insist on being respected by the other parent, on having him or her observe the child’s boundaries and accept the child’s needs and emotions, choices and preferences.
When the Narcissist’s Parents Die
The death of a narcissist’s parents can be a complicated experience. The narcissist has a mixed reaction to their passing, feeling both elation and grief. The parents are often the source of the narcissist’s trauma and continue to haunt them long after they die. The death of the parents also represents a loss of a reliable source of narcissistic supply, which can lead to severe depression. Additionally, the narcissist’s unfinished business with their parents can lead to unresolved conflicts and pressure that deforms their personality.
Narcissists Hate Children and Envy Them
Narcissists hate children because they envy them. Children’s feigned innocence, manipulation, and lack of empathy are disarming in their directness. Narcissists see children as both mirrors and competitors, reflecting their constant need for adulation and attention. Children are loved by mothers, which makes narcissists jealous and infuriated by their deprivation. Narcissists hate children for being them.
Depressive Narcissist
Pathological narcissism is often considered a form of depressive illness, with the life of a typical narcissist punctuated with recurrent bouts of dysphoria, sadness, hopelessness, anhedonia, loss of the ability to feel pleasure, and clinical forms of depression. Narcissists react with depression not only to life crises but to fluctuations in narcissistic supply and to the internal dynamics that these fluctuations generate. There are several types of dysphoria and depression in pathological narcissism, including loss-induced dysphoria, deficiency-induced dysphoria, self-worth dysregulation dysphoria, grandiosity gap dysphoria, and self-punishing dysphoria. Many narcissists end up delusional, schizoid, or paranoid to avoid agonizing and knowing depression.